mother in law drama

[lovedove8818]

So, me and my husband are very happily married and are expecting our first child Sep 23. He is Catholic and lm christian, we both decide to go to a non denominational church a few minutes from our house . once his mother found out that we were going to attend to attacked me and yelled at me and was very rude to me. My husband spoken with his mom and told her she never talk to me like that ever again and told her she needed to apologies. She called and apologies but it was not sincere at all...then she told my husband that if he was to leave the Catholic church that'd she would take him out the family will and give his half of the money to the Catholic church. My husband don't care and told her to what ever because me and the baby comes first . lm afraid that his mother is going to stress him out over this for a long time to come plus me having the first grandson she's already hinted that she wants my child to be Catholic. What should I do?

[SuzyA81]

You and your husband have to decide what is best for you and your family. Hopefully, his mother will come around eventually. If not, it will still be ok. Just make sure the two of you communicate well with each other. It stinks that she is making your husband choose between you and her, but it sounds like he is with you on this. He chose to be with you. His mother needs to accept that you two are a family and make the decisions, together, that are best for your family.  Hang in there. And congratulations on your first baby!

[Liz1523]

I agree with SuzyA81. Your husband and you are the ones that should make that decision not his mom. Its your family after all. Besides the important thing is that your child grows up knowing god exist and the church you go to makes no difference.  They both preach to the same god in my opinion. Anyways good luck and congratulations.

[susamor]

You have to learn to accept the fact that she may always disagree with you and be disagreeable about it. She can't control you guys nor your child. She had her turn now its your turn to be a mom and raise your child as you want.

[AJsbaby]

Omg my mother in law drives me crazy!! At 12 weeks pregnant she was already buying stuff for our son when we had no clue even the sex of our baby! She is obtrusive and annoying and I know she will be the first one to overload my child on toys that flash lights and talk and are technology based which I dont agree with, but thats a whole separate story. Anyways shes going to say what shes going to say and theres not much you can do about her saying it. Its ultimately your and your husbands decision and you should take this experience to help bond the two of you closer together! I'd hate it if your mother in law squeezed her way in and it eventually hurt you guys. Bond over this and become eachothers strength and let hubby know that you guys are in this together! It sounds like hes putting some serious stuff on the line, let him know u know and appreciate what hes doing for you!

[specialmom]

Hi there.  I married into a very Catholic family myself.  WITH a difficult mother in law.  I chose to convert to Catholicism so that my family could be the same together as it was important to my husband.  He wanted to remain Catholic. We are now a Catholic family with Catholic kids.  

But I didn't mind doing that and it made my husband happy.   That is not your situation.

I have two sister in laws (my husband has many siblings) that were not Catholic.  They handled things by not staying with her church but choosing a neutral one.  My one sister in law was Baptist and they are now attending a Methodist church (neutral territory for them both) and the other sister in law is simply not religious nor is her husband.  

Many Catholics do believe that if you were baptized Catholic that until your dying day you will be a Catholic.  My husband feels this way about his two brothers. Very old school.  In a way, I admire the level of faith and commitment that Catholics have.  

I would try not to make this a war.  I would try to defuse the situation.  His mom is behaving badly.  very badly.  Your husband has let her know that this is not okay.  If she throws a tantrum, just don't play into it and stay quiet.  She may come around.  And probably will because no parent wants to disown their child.  Just don't do anything on your end to make it worse (like deciding her apology is not sincere and telling your husband that).  Remember, you should be a peacekeeper!  Not a victim.  A peacekeeper so that your husband can have you AND his family.  He'll be happiest if he has a relationship that is strong with you and his family both.

So, you have a right to choose the best church for your family.  You are adults making our own decisions. She can rant and rave to her son, you just stay cool and try to ignore.  Build a bridge so you can get past it.  If she is rude about that, well, talk about something else that you two get along about.  Make small gestures like asking her for some of her favorite family recipes or how she does things so she sees that the life she made for your husband as a child was valid and good.  

You don't have to have your child christened.  but it also doesn't hurt.  That's my feeling on it.  The babies of the families I mentioned were baptized twice---  in a Catholic church and their own to appease my mother in law.  But that is YOUR choice.

So, hang in there.  I hope this gets better soon.  hugs