my fiance cheated...

[quinniemouse]

I found of from a girl he used to date when me and my fiance first started dating and I had no idea. She told me that the second she had suspicion that he was cheating she stopped seeing him. She later found out that me and him were together they Facebook but she didn't say anything to me or him that was 2 years ago. But this past August he started messaging her on Facebook and she thought nothing of it until he started pushing the convo sexually. She took screen shots of everything and sent them to me and he was making plans for her to come to our house, and they could do god knows what, while I was gone because sometimes I stay the night/weekends at my parents house to visit. I came home the very next day and made plans with the girl to catch him the following weekend but the second I came home and looked at him I broke down and told him and he apologized for everything but I'm still hurting 3 months later and I'm about to give birth to our baby girl next week. Idk what to do... We haven't really discussed it because he gets pissed and doesn't want to talk about it and then I end up feeling guilty as if I'm the one who did something wrong... What do I do?

[ewilliams_]

I don't know what the *** are for auto correct

[ewilliams_]

I really feel for you,cheating is one thing but to know that you were actually going to bring someone to our home that we share together is something else. I wouldn't have been able to continue the relationship until we talked about it, I would have wanted to know what he was thinking & why. Don't let him do the guilt trip on you, you deserve answers. Good luck! Cheating ***** especially while your pregnant it just seems like the ultimate extreme.

[carlita0113]

I'm sorry your going through this,  but just try prepare yourself for your baby.and his mad because he knows he messed up. Beasts  of  luck

[AidenTarencemommy]

Ok this is how u should start the conversation.  Ask him where is ur standpoint in his life and why does he feels it appropriate to disrespect you. Of course he is going to ask what are u talking about and u tell him that this will not be accepted and in order to build a proper family it starts with you guys. U guys are the foundation!! He needs to be making you happy just as ur expected to make him happy. You can't move on in the relationship if you cannot trust him!

[AidenTarencemommy]

Ok this is how u should start the conversation.  Ask him where is ur standpoint in his life and why does he feels it appropriate to disrespect you. Of course he is going to ask what are u talking about and u tell him that this will not be accepted and in order to build a proper family it starts with you guys. U guys are the foundation!! He needs to be making you happy just as ur expected to make him happy. You can't move on in the relationship if you cannot trust him!

[quinniemouse]

I know I shouldn't feel guilty because I haven't done anything wrong... it's just so hard to deal with especially now so close to my due date with hormones running wild and I just don't even know how I would start this conversation.

[AidenTarencemommy]

Don't let that man make u feel guilty!! U have done nothing wrong!! If he doesn't want to talk about it, oh well. You didn't want to be put in this predicament where as u have to ask him questions about this situation!!! His fault tell him if he was not out there try to implant his pens inside of someone else u would not be having this conversation!

[quinniemouse]

I don't even know how I'm supposed to move on from this, with our without him

[lialove1721]

You guys really need to talk about because it will always bug you and be a strain to the relationship if you guys don't speak about it. Personally you can do better. What a douch wth does he have to get mad at!?!? Girl you deserve better.

[Lainee0x]

If you want to talk about it, then talk about it, he can't get pissed at you, it was him that did it, you shouldn't feel guilty about anything!

[jen0221]

That is a tough one. I don't know what to tell you to do because it is heartbreaking especially when you are so far along. My husband started looking at porn when I was 6 months pregnant with our first and I ended up finding out 2 weeks before I was due. I felt so nasty and betrayed and so many other emotions I probably didn't even recognize. I had a hard time even looking at him, let alone wanting him to be watching me give birth. Cheating is a lot more serious though. I know it is hard, but you should think about if that is the type of life you want to live. Even if he says he will never do it again, the thought will always be in the back of your mind. My husband got back into porn when I was 6 months pregnant again with our 2nd and I think it hit me even harder the second time. I felt repulsive and I didn't even want to be pregnant anymore. U have such a bad self body image now, I don't even let my husband look at my belly; my hands are always covering it. I'm now just a few weeks pregnant again and scared to death he is going to fall back into his old ways. As far as I know, he's been clean between pregnancies, but I just don't trust him like I used to. I'm pprobably not much help, but at least you know you aren't the only one dealing with infidelity. As far as you being the one at fault, don't ever let him make you feel that it's on you. It's not! You can't control his actions. If he tries to blame you, that's him trying yo manipulate you and you need to stand up for yourself.

[Mama_bearcubs20]

You move on with your life as a mommy and focus on your daughter. Tell him when you're going into labor and if he decides to show up, that's on him. You can't make someone care or want to be with you. Trust me once your baby is here she is all you're going to need. I say all this from experience. Good luck!

[Travismommy24]

You need to focus on your child, sometimes the one's we love will hurt us so much. You don't want to stress about him and lose focus on your baby. you two need to sit down and talk, if he is not willing to compromise by talking or/and seeking counseling, then you need to figure out if you want him to be apart of your future or not.