pregnant and depressed...need help

[Hazel09]

****Disclaimer**** I have gotten the standard "you'll be ok and you're better off without him" advice.. I'm looking for advice on how to keep my sanity until the pain stops...

So I'm currently 21weeks pregnant with my xfiance's first child ( a girl) and my son child....initially I did not want anymore children because of the way things went with my first child's father however my ex assured me things were different and couldn't wait to be there for every moment of my pregnancy.... we have known each other since we were 16 and had previously been together at 18 but broke up(then) due to long distance issues (he moved)... 5 years later we reconnected and rekindled what we had...he even moved across the country to be with me...(irrelevant now I suppose)...anyway we got engaged and later found out we were expecting.... things were great until he became more secretive and complained of me working all the time... One night we got into an extreme argument and he packed his bags and went back to our home state (gave lame excuse "lie") as to why he left...that was a month ago and he has yet to give me a date as to when he was planning on coming back...during this time we (unknown to me until today) we broke up and now he has this excuse of trying to get himself a fresh start and fix himself...my son's father walked out on him and now my daughter's father has walked out on her in the and fashion.....it hurts because my son asks about whom he considers his father and I don't have an answer that won't hurt him.... I'm hurting worse than ever and have truly contemplated suicide as an escape from the pain...I live in a state away from my family and the "generic" responses don't work... please help

[sanja25]

Feel free to inbox me whenever you want or need
I m here

[Hazel09]

Thank you ladies your words give me comfort..all of you all... my job is a very good one so I can't afford to loose it by going home and adding a burden to my mother. I'll try to get whatever help is available and you all are right it could be a combination of overly active hormones and depression.... I am very grateful for this community...it's the one place I don't have to be "superhuman" and can just be me..Thank you

[Dalingee]

I'm very sleepy so I hope my reply helps you in every way. I am 19/20 years old in a week and have a daughter who will be turning 2 years old the day after my birthday. When I was pregnant with her I had so many challenges and biggest one was that they were going to take her away from us, because Norway is very good in taking people's m children and sell them out to their lazy people! Her father and I was also arguing like almost every day, we almost broke up, but thankfully we're still together and am carrying his/our second child. But all these things were going on I had no strong to lean on except Jesus Christ. I became so desperate for a solution and the devil saw my desperation and decided to plant suicide thoughts in my head. And at that point it seemed to be the only solution to my problem, but it wasn't. I was made clear to that I'll go to hell if I ended my life because I don't own my life since I didn't give it to myself. So my spiritual mother and father was praying for me, along side with my mom and sister. I also used to watch Emmanuel.Tv and all these I did for encouragement and strength to overcome my daily challenges (hell). It's a very long story, but all I'm trying to say is for you to cling on to God. He's not going too reject you, he even asks us to cast our bundles(fear) on him and he'll give us peace in exchange. I always user to encourage myself by saying to myself that nothing in this world lasts forever. Please seek the face of God, life is a warfare feel free to message me. God bless you and your family and I pray that his presence in your life will bring you understanding for why you were let down.

[Maryjane1995]

I think moving back close to your family will help. You shouldn't be left alone, not trying to say you're not strong but it's best to keep occupied and around family. Believe me another man will come into your life when you're ready for it and accept your kids as his own and stick to you. . .on another note. This ex of yours is either confused about what he wants and needs time to think or he realized it already. I honestly believe he left because he's second questioning things or he already made up his mind.

[smichellec]

Also, its common for pregnancy to cause depression so wait it out. It WILL get better. Time and normal hormones will make a huge difference.

[smichellec]

No, well done deekie! I took years off from men just to find myself and I think that time molded me into the women I am today that led me to a man I never thought in my wildest dreams I would have. My own mother went to the store and never came back when I was young and prior to her leaving I witnessed her try and kill herself...my dad luckily wrestled her and saved her from herself but all those years as a child wondering if my mother was alive or not were heartbreaking. 2 parents are not a must as my father never dated again. I myself live away from what little family I have and it hurts thinking of being a mother when my own had so many issues and I have no family near. If at all possible I would move back closer to your family and rebuild yourself. Having no man is better than having a fare weathered one. Your kids will grow up to respect you so much for being the super mom your going to have to be...just like my dad was:) My cousin has 5 and is currently a single mom and none of the father are around (she makes the mistake of letting boyfriends get to close to her kids and then theyre left sad all over again) but she's still managed to get her bachelors degree and be happy on her own. I also have a friend whose husband was unexpectedly killed in a car accident. She has to be strong for their kids everyday. Life is so hard but you cant let suicide cross your mind. Get it out of your head that its even an option...there are too many uncontrollable situations that can take your life as is. Maybe do some soul searching...send the kids to grandmas and take a solo trip to the mountains and just look at how beautiful the world is! Your still young and havent fought the fight long enough to give up yet;)

[Jennifer_lynn93]

I had extreme depression and anxiety. I say the best bet is counseling, friends and family support around you 24/7, if that isn't helping you should deffinetly get on some anxiety/depression medication. There is also st Johns warts...it is a natural supplement you can take for anxiety/depression. Those are just a couple of great options that work besides time healing.

[Deekie]

It's tough life is at times unbearable and sometimes suicide seems like the perfect option. But it's not it's a selfish option. You have a son and a daughter on the way and in life they are all you need . Your kids will pull you through think of all the things you will miss of you depart your life earlier than what is intended. If you don't think you can handle two kids on your own there is always adoption . Surround yourself with people who love and care about you and for now stay away from men. Explain to your son that there is a special someone out there for everyone and unfortunately you have to kiss a few frogs to be able to find your Prince  ( don't know how old he is so feel free to reword it)I feel like I'm doing a **** job at trying to help but I dunno if this will help you . I have had a pretty tough start in life my parents divorced when I was 5 my mum started dating my brothers swimming coach. He turned out to be a pedophile ( mum never found out) so my sister and I were abused my mum died of cancer when I was 12. Due to a misunderstanding I spilled the beans about my step dad and then spent 2.years in an out of police stations and courtrooms. I was raped when I was 21 and fell pregnant and had an abortion I married an American ( I'm Aussie) then he got home sick and left and then I dated a complete and utter nut job who says he is going to kill me on July 19th of this year. When ever I get down and really depressed and think of suicide I think of all thaybi have gone through and think that I love the person I am today I am a strong and independent woman and I wouldn't be like that if I didn't have a rough start.I also think that I know somewhere out in the world there are people who have had it harder then I have had. You are a strong woman . You have made it this far and you dont need a man in your life to justify living. I hope this has helped I think I worded it like an idiot though but feel free to message me if you want to talk

[african_mama_bear]

First off im sorry this is happening to you i dont know how you feel but i do understand the feeling for i were in a depressed state at a time an was suicidal for other reason way before my first child all i can really say is at this moment maybe you need to be around family or positive people who can help bring you up right now all you can worry about are your kids you need to start preparing for your daughters arrival and as for your son i know it hurts my dad walked out on my mom and left her with 5 kids my sister and i were adults when it happened but my brothers are still young and its hurts when my dad dont go to their football games or parent conference ect but we try to teach them that although having a male figure in your life sounds good its not required you be there for him thru his goods bads sport days what ever and he will respect and love you even more and learn to not be his father best of luck to you hun and stay strong for your kids

[sanja25]

I dont know what to tell you on how to stop the pain
I can tell you the usual stuff that i guess you hear all the time
But i m here if you want to talk
Where do you live? Do you have any friends to talk to? Someone thats just gonna listen and not judge?