Aa
scared and alone
I am married and just had a baby and I want a divorce more than anything. Yet I have no where to go no car no place no family I cry and I cry all the time I'm so scared to start the paperwork and then be homeless and lose my child. If there was only some way to work from home I would in a heartbeat but I can't find any way to make money I tried. I'm so stressed out I get no help from my idiot husband. He is a bad father. It's why I want a divorce to give my baby a good life without stress and arguing. He can't control himself he doesn't care how he acts in front of the baby I am so angry and hurt I just want to kill him every time he raises his voice around the baby. Or walks too fast in an aggressive manner with her wtf is wrong with him. I have tried talking and tried and tried over around over again to work things out but I refuse to be in a bad marriage so my daughter grows up and marries a horrible man like I did. I can't even trust him to be alone with her because he isn't careful or knows how to handle a baby I hate myself so much for marrying him and quitting my job and giving up my car to make it easier on us. Why and I so stupid now I'm stuck and becoming anxious and depressed and maybe even suicidal. I am usually good at figuring things out but this time I just can't. What would you do? What is the way out? I pray every day for strength and an opportunity
COMMUNITY LEADER
Have you talked to your doctor about post partum depression at all? I've noticed on all of your posts of recent you are struggling and having feelings of hopeless, possible loss of control with your baby, anxiety, etc. These are symptoms of post partum. Agitation with those around us can be a sign of anxiety which is also part of post partum.
I think you need to talk to your doctor.,
Leaving your husband is a bit drastic without first working on it. Has something happened since your other posts when you felt he was a good man but imperfect and you wanted to work on it?
A shelter is no place for a woman and baby. You are not in an abusive relationship where anything but your irritation with your 'idiot' husband is driving you to want to leave. Stay put for the time being.
what kind of education do you have? If you have not gone to college or trade school, now is a good time. After your initial period of recovering after baby, 6 weeks to 12 weeks, look at what you want to do and what your options are. Paralegal is a very good job where you make a good income and the education it takes to get there is not too expensive or time consuming (and you very likely could qualify for a grant to cover expenses). My friend is in the program at a branch of a university. It's about 6000 total for the entire program (so cheap to end up with a fantastic job after), she goes TWO nights a week from 6 to 9 (and they have the option to go two mornings a week or two afternoons a week as well) for a year and a half. That's IT. And she will then have a job netting between 45,000 and 60,000 a year. Enough for you to have an apartment on your own with your baby and live if you are still unhappy.
But that is just one idea.
Most likely leaving your husband means your baby will go to daycare. So many parents do this as it is the only way they can work and obviously a single mom has to work full time.
But I wouldn't pack your baby up and go to a shelter unless your home has violence in it, abuse of other sorts, addiction issues, etc.
Talk to your doctor about post partum because from everything I read, it seems a real possibility that this is a contributing factor to all of your current issues. good luck
I think you need to talk to your doctor.,
Leaving your husband is a bit drastic without first working on it. Has something happened since your other posts when you felt he was a good man but imperfect and you wanted to work on it?
A shelter is no place for a woman and baby. You are not in an abusive relationship where anything but your irritation with your 'idiot' husband is driving you to want to leave. Stay put for the time being.
what kind of education do you have? If you have not gone to college or trade school, now is a good time. After your initial period of recovering after baby, 6 weeks to 12 weeks, look at what you want to do and what your options are. Paralegal is a very good job where you make a good income and the education it takes to get there is not too expensive or time consuming (and you very likely could qualify for a grant to cover expenses). My friend is in the program at a branch of a university. It's about 6000 total for the entire program (so cheap to end up with a fantastic job after), she goes TWO nights a week from 6 to 9 (and they have the option to go two mornings a week or two afternoons a week as well) for a year and a half. That's IT. And she will then have a job netting between 45,000 and 60,000 a year. Enough for you to have an apartment on your own with your baby and live if you are still unhappy.
But that is just one idea.
Most likely leaving your husband means your baby will go to daycare. So many parents do this as it is the only way they can work and obviously a single mom has to work full time.
But I wouldn't pack your baby up and go to a shelter unless your home has violence in it, abuse of other sorts, addiction issues, etc.
Talk to your doctor about post partum because from everything I read, it seems a real possibility that this is a contributing factor to all of your current issues. good luck
So sorry your going through this. There alot resources out there like welfare, with a baby, they provide cash & food. There is WIC program where they provide you with food vouchers to get healthy food for you & baby food like milk, etc. If he is abusive or scared of him, you shouldn't mention anything about divorce to him until you figure out things. I pray things work out well for you.
Good luck with everything!! I so glad your leaving, that's so unhealthy for you and your bAby.
No problem love :) you're feelings are totally justified. Some people just aren't meant to be parents. You obviously love your daughter so much to be so strong that you're willing to take whatever steps necessary for her to have a good life. I have been in kind of a similar situation and understand. I was a abused while pregnant. I understand you're feelings of hopelessness. It does get better though. You have a good head on your shoulders. She will love and respect you so much when she's older :)
Thank you for the info I didn't know about that
Thank you so much for your encouraging words anni3xo you give me hope and I haven't said anything to him about a divorce for months I was hoping things would change after the baby and they got better but he's still not father material he acts like it's not even his child he doesn't spend time with her doesn't take care of her at all i just don't understand how someone can be so distant and cold towards their child. I can provide her enough love for two parents I really don't need him and she doesn't need to be stressed and have a bad childhood
There's a thing called hope harbor. Go to your local health department as well. You can get government housing and wic. Food stamps too
Thank you I will call a health service office and a divorce attorney because I refuse to have my child around a man who can't keep his act together :( I just hope I am making the right decision and not making it even worse by leaving
Stay strong Hun. There are lots of options for you and your daughter. She won't get taken from you. Just make sure you and her are safe. Don't be mad at yourself. No one expects this to happen. Sometimes you just don't know the person your with until certain circumstances. There's always a way out. Don't file the paper work or let him know you're planning to leave until you have a plan. Everything will be okay <3
Do you know Spanish and eniglish? If so message me! I know a job where you could work from home
Contact dhs in your state the have programs to help homeless women with children and pregnant women
Are there any women shelters in your area thatll help with a place to stay and maybe help finding work?
Go to heath services. They should be able to help you out.
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