Today is one of those days where I am just completely stressed!! I mean...I feel like...I don't even know. Just crazy, keep crying, and can't believe how long I had to wait at the docs to be taken back to a room for only 5 minutes and then get charged 75 dollars. I freakin' don't get docs. I seriously don't! This always happens to me!! Jesse had an appt. because his testicle is very swollen and I wanted to be sure all was well. I have been to the docs waaaay too much in the last 4 weeks. I feel like I am running there at every little thing and feel like a first time parent and you would think I should know things by now!, but they really aren't that little and could potentially be dangerous things. Anyway, Jesse's appt was at 2:30...I arrived there at 2:20pm and was suprised because I usually run 10 min late getting out the door, so I was happy and thought "well then, I should be taken back on time or not long after". When I am late, I usually have to wait 5-10min, then go back. THIS time, I waited an hour!!!!!!!! AN HOUR to just go back to a room and then another 15 min. for the doc to come in the room!!!!!!! Are you serious? Does anyone know how long a 17 month old can sit and wait for, before going completely crazy (or maybe that was me going crazy?) !?!??! Maybe 20 min...seriously. He is good, but not THAT good yet. He was pulling plugs out of the wall (i can only yell at him but so many times in front of other people and then pretend like I am happy and smile at everyone else!!), screaming, then crying, THEN I forgot to bring my pumped milk for Jesse (had the bottle, but no milk!!) and had to BF him there in the office with other people around (I'm not very fond of that and feel uncomfortable, but he had to eat because he started screaming!) So that meant I couldn't just stop feeding him to chase Jeremiah if he ran away without flashing someone with my boob. OH MY....I was so stressed.
I got there thinking I would be in and out and back home so Jeremiah could take his nap, I left the house at 1:45pm and didn't get home until 5pm!!! Talk about a long time out for something that should have taken 2 hours tops! with driving and the appt. I'm just stressed and need to vent!
SO anyway, Jesse's appt. went OK. He has a lot of fluid in his testicle. The doctor put the light up to the normal one and you could see it. But the other one, you could only see the fluid, that's it. =/
So Jesse has another appt. in Nov and he is going to re-check him and if it hasn't cleared by then, he is thinking he may need surgery. He already has an umbilical hernia, and the doc says it could just be excess fluid (hydrocele) which should clear on it's own, or it could be a hernia and that would require surgery. So now I have to find someone who can do an ultrasound on it to see exactly what's going on at a good price since we don't have insurance. And if he needs surgery, it's going to cost thousands!!!!! We can't do that right now...I am so stressed out. So hubby is looking into getting insurance for the kids for now, so we will see how that goes. It would be too much to try to get it for all of us at the moment.
I seriously just need a break. My mom lives over an hour away, and I can't keep bugging my MIL all the time for help. I feel terrible, I'm stressed, and I want to crawl in a corner and cry.
Sorry to vent on you ladies. I just can't get a break. Since I was 28 weeks pregnant I was on bedrest, then had Jesse a month early, and now it seems like problem after problem....I am starting to go mental and don't know how you moms do it with 2 little ones so close in age. Some days it's fine, but some days I am so stressed and wish Jeremiah was just a bit older and understood more. Okay...I now have 2 screaming babies...I must go...................................forgive me for venting...this it totally not like me!!! I can usually keep my composure, but today has been a test and I failed.