Why do I feel this way?? A bit of a vent....

[chantal21]

So this is my 2nd successful pregnancy and last night I was talking to DH about why I am not extremely excited this time around. With my son, everything was "ooooh" "ahhh" and this time I feel like, okay the baby moved, yea my belly is getting bigger, but I don't have the same excitement for some reason. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this baby and I am soooo excited...but why does it feel different? Am I the only one feeling this way? DH said maybe it's a bit of depression?? But I am not depressed about it...maybe it's because I have a 1 year old to chase all day and don't really have time to think about being pregnant 24/7 like I did with my son? I can't figure it out. I can't wait to see what this baby looks like and I can't wait until September, but I feel awful for feeling this way. I just wonder if my mind is so occupied with other things, like my son, cleaning, all other duties around the house that I just don't have the same time I used to. I used to read to my son everyday when I was preggo, rub my belly all the time, talk to the baby non-stop...and now...I'm almost halfway through, and I haven't done these things. Am I being crazy?? With my son, everyday there was something new and exciting going on and I would tell DH and he would be so happy and thrilled, but this time, we are just more lax about everything. I'm not worrying as much like I did with my first, which I guess can be a good thing, but why in the world do I feel this way? I feel so guilty at times. I do love this baby so much and I am excited, but just not like I was with my son. Sorry...I just needed to get that out. Thanks for listening to me. Just need some encouragement.

[chantal21]

Thank you all for understanding! It's nice to know I'm not the only one. I am trying not to stress over these things, as stress is not something I need! The aches and pains when I walk make it harder, but I know it's all for a good reason!

It really is great to have you ladies to go to when I'm in need and vice-versa. Some things I feel I can't share with others or they won't quite understand like you ladies will.

Thanks again! I am going to try to relax, and enjoy each day as it comes. I am really looking forward to sept. and meeting this new little one and seeing Jeremiah's reaction to the change and a new baby in the house. =) I'm sure he will be a great big brother.
Seriously, thanks again for your stories/experiences, I really appreciate you all!!! =)

[Michele, Katy, TX]

Chantal, it's okay to feel the way you feel.  You love your baby and you know it.  I know I love my baby, but I also know that I may not enjoy the discomforts of pregnancy the way some women do.  There are women that have had lots of loss and would do anything to feel my discomforts that I do, so I remind myself of that when I get frustrated about needing to go to the bathroom 20 times a day, or the fact that my vital organs are getting kicked constantly or the fact that by the time it is all said and done, I will need a crane to help me turn from one side to the other!  But NONE of that is because I don't love my baby.  I would die if anything ever happened to my baby.  And like you said, you are totally preoccupied with your Jeremiah right now.  He is a lot of work and most especially when you are pregnant.

Try not to worry about them being so close together or jealously.  My oldest daughters are only 17 1/2 months apart.  So, Sara was only 8 months old when I got pregnant w/ Rachel.  That was a big oops and I had no idea how I was going to do it.  And to be honest, in the beginning, it was the hardest thing I had ever done.  It was hard because Rachel (the younger one) was not a sleeper.  I never get lucky in that dept.  So, I may be up alnight w/ her and then it would be time for Sara to get up.  And of course, Sara was so little.  It's not like I could nap with her awake when Rachel would nap.  If I could have died from sleep deprevation, I would have.  LOL!  I was super tired.  And Sara was a little jealous at first.  BUT see, you are doing something I didn't do.  I never really included her in the pregnancy.  I guess I just thought she was too young to understand and never thought about it.  And Sara and I were joined at the hip because I stayed home with her and my son was in school all day.  So we did everything together.  We were jointed at the hip.  So, she wasn't very happy with me when I brought Rachel home, but she adjusted pretty quickly and began to really love Rachel.  Well, they are now 6 and 7 and honestly couldn't be closer.  They fight sometimes as sisters do, but they are best friends.  Infact, they even have a "friendship day" once a month.  They came up with that.  Not me.  So, I heard them talking about it one day and asked what it was all about and what it meant.  They told me that on their friendship days, they have to spend lots of time together and not fight.....much!  Ha ha!!  I thought that was funny because they hardly go to the bathroom without each other as it is.  They are together all the time everyday!  Sara even tried to stay home sick from school one day when Rachel was sick.  She got a big fat NO on that one!  Ha ha!!  Anyway, it will be challenging at first.  I won't lie.  But it will be so worth it in the end and Jeremiah and you new little one will be soooooo close!!!

I consider my girls lucky.  They have each other and always will.  All of them.  I have one brother who lives about 4 hours away and we are NOT close.  I would do anything to have a sister that I was close too.  My gift to my children is each other.  If I can't give them anything else, I give them that and I hope one day they will know what a gift that really is :)

Umm okay....Sorry for the novel here........

Oh yeah, and Happy Mother's Day to you ALL!!!

[cure65roses]

Overwhelmed, exactly.  I feel that way myself.  This is such a huge responsibility, we're facing.  Yes I wanted this so badly, my dearest wish, indeed.  But with twins on the way, it's a bit of a concern for me.  My situation is quite different from yours though...  I already have 3 older children, ages 11-16.  I am absolutely concerned about how I'm going to manage, and I do not want any of my children to have to sacrifice a thing.  Unfortunately, I am forced to consider quitting work since there's two babies coming.  (We had "originally" planned for my MIL to babysit so I wouldn't quit work, but now I'm not so sure about that, with two babies.  How do you put twins off on someone.  And she hasn't exactly acted like she wants to babysit twins full time.)  I know we can manage (just fine, really!) but in the back of my mind I am also thinking with such a large family it's going to take a lot.  Thank God my ex-husband takes pretty good care to help with the expenses for his kids.  I hope he's good hearted enough to do even more if I have to quit working.

Ahh  it's just so much to worry about.  

You're right, Chantal, sometimes we just need to vent, and it makes us feel a little better.  As I sit here telling you guys how dreadful this is for me, I am forced to consider that it's not going to be so bad really, and I'm just worried, which is a natural part of being a mother.  I'm sorry to lay it all out there girls, but I really appreciate that we're all here for each other to offer support and just lend an ear when needed.

BTW, Happy Mothers Day, Ladies!!  

[Latrice414]

Its possible you may be overwhelmed bcuz you do have a 1 year old, my friend was over with her 1 1/2 year old for a few hours and i spent  a lot of time entertaining her and chasing her that i didnt even have time to think about my baby, toddlers are a lot of work.  For me, my son will be 14 so that is a big difference and it feels like im doing it all over again.  I will keep you in my prayers and hope you will get threw what you are going threw.

[chantal21]

I've never lost a baby that late, but I kinda understand what you are saying. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I can't even imagine how you must feel. Yes, I am very nervous about having 2 little ones under the age of 2. That's probably my main concern at this point. I want them both to feel loved and I don't want Jeremiah to be jealous in any way, but I'm sure it's bound to happen at some point.

My hormones are everywhere today. I don't mean to complain at all...I hate doing that. Sometimes I just need to get things off of my chest, ya know? I always feel a little bit better when I do that, instead of keeping things in and feeling sorry for myself or blowing up later at my husband who doesn't deserve any of it. He is great! =)

[Asking4aMiracle]

I dont think i can give advice since i do not have another living child but i can say that i do kind of feel the same way. I think though my situation all stems from what happened to Aidyn, im afraid to get all axcited and happy (which i am but im not) and i miss him so much that even though i am completely overly thankful for this baby, i still wish he was here and i dont go a day without wishing he was here, physically. Jason seems to be as excited, if not more, but to me im still so leary about it all. It may change once i get further then i did last time but at the monent, i think a feel a lot like you do. I wish i was of more help but at least now i know that its not just something only someone in my situation would be feeling. Maybe thought with you, deep down your extremely nervous about having 2 little ones to take care of, worry about, love... 2 to make sure you give both enough time, equally... does that make sense?