Aa
Finally sinking in... I am going to be a mom
It just hit me that I am going to be bringing a baby home. This whole pregnancy it has been like play, but now I realize..holy **** i am responsible for a human being...and such a tiny one.
I dont know how to do anything! Bathe a child, hold a newborn properly, omg....I feel like I am going to be useless when I bring this child home.
And what do you do after the hospital....bring the baby home.....then what? Put him in his bassinet? Play with him....I feel retarded...
Any other first time moms feel this way or is it just me that feels like this?
I dont know how to do anything! Bathe a child, hold a newborn properly, omg....I feel like I am going to be useless when I bring this child home.
And what do you do after the hospital....bring the baby home.....then what? Put him in his bassinet? Play with him....I feel retarded...
Any other first time moms feel this way or is it just me that feels like this?
Just rememberr ladies, as I said, babies don't come with instruction manuals. We ALL make mistakes in the beginning, even those of us who have done this many times. So, here is my BEST advice for new Mom's:
1. If you didn't ASK for the advice, take it with a grain of salt. People will be throwing all kinds of crap your way and some of it will be REALLY good and some of it will be really HORRIBLE. Pick and choose what you listen to. Gather information on your own and make decisions based on YOUR beliefs and what you feel is best for you and your baby. Remember, this is YOUR child, not your moms, neighbors, sisters, cousins or the old ladies in the produce section. Everyone has different parenting opinions and not everyone is going to agree with you. Be ready to stand your ground for what you choose.
2. If you screw up a bottle or accidently heat it too hot and give it to baby..it's not the end of the world...yes it'll scare baby and s/he will cry but will most likely get over it just as fast as it happened. It doesn't make you the worst parent in the world. If you accidently catch babies skin in the zipper, yeah you're gonna feel like a real arse for awhile, but baby will forget about it LONG before you will and you aren't the only one who has done it. I've been guilty of that. Just remember, the fact that you DO feel guilt, remorse or bad for accidently doing something, THAT is what counts, THAT is what shows you are a good Mommy. We, as humans, will make mistakes. It's the fact that we have a conscience that makes us feel bad about it that shows we are good people.
3) Babies get rashes, colds, make weird noises, do strange things...it doesn't mean it's something YOU did. Even if Baby does get a cold becuase you took him/her to walmart when she was 3 weeks old doesn't make you a bad parent. Keep in mind that while the poor little thing is gonna look miserable for a little while...s/he is taking this opportunity to build up antibodies to be able to fight that same cold off next time s/he is exposed. BAbies who are sheltered tend to get sicka lot more often later in life when it's much harder on them. Babies who are exposed to different situations get sick much less.
4) It's OK if you get frusterated or even angry becuase baby wont' stop screaming or won't let you get a few minutes of shut eye. It's HOW you HANDLE it that counts. Trust me, it's NOT going to hurt you baby if you put him/her in the crib or bassinett and go in the other room and scream into a pillow and have a hissy fit for a few minutes. It just might make you feel better. When you feel that way, the best thing to do is take a time out for yourself. You aren't always going to have someone else there who can take the baby for you so you have to improvise. Put the baby in a safe place (crib, basinette, playpen), turn on the radio to light music or whatever baby likes or turn on the TV and leave the room for a few minutes. Not so far that you can't hear the baby but far enough that the screaming is not ringing in your ears at ear piercing levels.
5) Make SURE to take a little time for you. Get with your partner and determine a small period of time each night or a just a few nights a week that you can count on him to take care of baby while you take a hot bath or do your nails or even just run to the store/gym by yourself for a half hour. It makes all the difference in the world.
6) If you are feeling overwhelmed and it's likely that you will in the beginning, it's NORMAL. Just remember there is no need to be stubborn...if someone you trust offers help TAKE IT. Don't be the do-it-all-mama and refuse it will only run you down further and make you miserable. Let people make you some casseroles you can use for dinner or pick you up some items from the store, or even just sit with the baby for 45 minutes so you can get some rest.
7) NOTHING is too stupid or silly to ask.
8) take TONS and TONS and TONS of pictures :)
9) if you don't have a video camera, get one....sell the dog to buy one if you have to :)
10) Remember, as hard as this is going to be on your, it will be hard on your partner as well. Bringing home a new baby is a huge adjustment. Just as you expect them to cut you some slack, you need to do the same for them to an extent. You both need time to yourselves and you both need time together and you all need family time. It's going to take time to get a routine down and during that transition period things may be intense, there may be arguments...just remember this is hard on everyone and YOU are still hormonal and emotional. Don't be afraid to say your sorry OR to expect him to say it if he's wrong. Just handle your disagreements gently, don't go into raging fits becuase it won't help any of you. If you feel you're about to explode...come on here and get it off your chest BEFORE you say things you will regret.
But most of all... ENJOY YOUR NEW LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY...snuggle, cuddle, take pictures, show him/her off to everyone, write down every little thing s/he does, get foot prints, hand prints, locks of hair. You will not believe how quickly they grow and you (and your child) will appreciate all the documentation and reminders of the infant stage that you can provide. *I* LOVE looking back at what I have for my kids and they get a huge kick out of it as well.
1. If you didn't ASK for the advice, take it with a grain of salt. People will be throwing all kinds of crap your way and some of it will be REALLY good and some of it will be really HORRIBLE. Pick and choose what you listen to. Gather information on your own and make decisions based on YOUR beliefs and what you feel is best for you and your baby. Remember, this is YOUR child, not your moms, neighbors, sisters, cousins or the old ladies in the produce section. Everyone has different parenting opinions and not everyone is going to agree with you. Be ready to stand your ground for what you choose.
2. If you screw up a bottle or accidently heat it too hot and give it to baby..it's not the end of the world...yes it'll scare baby and s/he will cry but will most likely get over it just as fast as it happened. It doesn't make you the worst parent in the world. If you accidently catch babies skin in the zipper, yeah you're gonna feel like a real arse for awhile, but baby will forget about it LONG before you will and you aren't the only one who has done it. I've been guilty of that. Just remember, the fact that you DO feel guilt, remorse or bad for accidently doing something, THAT is what counts, THAT is what shows you are a good Mommy. We, as humans, will make mistakes. It's the fact that we have a conscience that makes us feel bad about it that shows we are good people.
3) Babies get rashes, colds, make weird noises, do strange things...it doesn't mean it's something YOU did. Even if Baby does get a cold becuase you took him/her to walmart when she was 3 weeks old doesn't make you a bad parent. Keep in mind that while the poor little thing is gonna look miserable for a little while...s/he is taking this opportunity to build up antibodies to be able to fight that same cold off next time s/he is exposed. BAbies who are sheltered tend to get sicka lot more often later in life when it's much harder on them. Babies who are exposed to different situations get sick much less.
4) It's OK if you get frusterated or even angry becuase baby wont' stop screaming or won't let you get a few minutes of shut eye. It's HOW you HANDLE it that counts. Trust me, it's NOT going to hurt you baby if you put him/her in the crib or bassinett and go in the other room and scream into a pillow and have a hissy fit for a few minutes. It just might make you feel better. When you feel that way, the best thing to do is take a time out for yourself. You aren't always going to have someone else there who can take the baby for you so you have to improvise. Put the baby in a safe place (crib, basinette, playpen), turn on the radio to light music or whatever baby likes or turn on the TV and leave the room for a few minutes. Not so far that you can't hear the baby but far enough that the screaming is not ringing in your ears at ear piercing levels.
5) Make SURE to take a little time for you. Get with your partner and determine a small period of time each night or a just a few nights a week that you can count on him to take care of baby while you take a hot bath or do your nails or even just run to the store/gym by yourself for a half hour. It makes all the difference in the world.
6) If you are feeling overwhelmed and it's likely that you will in the beginning, it's NORMAL. Just remember there is no need to be stubborn...if someone you trust offers help TAKE IT. Don't be the do-it-all-mama and refuse it will only run you down further and make you miserable. Let people make you some casseroles you can use for dinner or pick you up some items from the store, or even just sit with the baby for 45 minutes so you can get some rest.
7) NOTHING is too stupid or silly to ask.
8) take TONS and TONS and TONS of pictures :)
9) if you don't have a video camera, get one....sell the dog to buy one if you have to :)
10) Remember, as hard as this is going to be on your, it will be hard on your partner as well. Bringing home a new baby is a huge adjustment. Just as you expect them to cut you some slack, you need to do the same for them to an extent. You both need time to yourselves and you both need time together and you all need family time. It's going to take time to get a routine down and during that transition period things may be intense, there may be arguments...just remember this is hard on everyone and YOU are still hormonal and emotional. Don't be afraid to say your sorry OR to expect him to say it if he's wrong. Just handle your disagreements gently, don't go into raging fits becuase it won't help any of you. If you feel you're about to explode...come on here and get it off your chest BEFORE you say things you will regret.
But most of all... ENJOY YOUR NEW LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY...snuggle, cuddle, take pictures, show him/her off to everyone, write down every little thing s/he does, get foot prints, hand prints, locks of hair. You will not believe how quickly they grow and you (and your child) will appreciate all the documentation and reminders of the infant stage that you can provide. *I* LOVE looking back at what I have for my kids and they get a huge kick out of it as well.
I have been babysitting for 20 years. I know how to take care of an infant. I freaked out about a month or so ago and thought "what did I do?"
Life will never be as easy as it is right now. Everything will take longer and some planning to do. No jumping in car and going.
I am very positive that we all will do an excelent job caring for our new bundles of joy. This forum will still be here and we can share our fears and accomplishments in caring for our LO's.
Life will never be as easy as it is right now. Everything will take longer and some planning to do. No jumping in car and going.
I am very positive that we all will do an excelent job caring for our new bundles of joy. This forum will still be here and we can share our fears and accomplishments in caring for our LO's.
I'm having the same thoughts as well. I took care of my niece and realized I'm completely clueless. I'm so nervous cause they're so tiny and fragile and I'm terrified I'm going to break them or something. Hopefully it gets easier after you have them all the time.
I understand exactly how you feel. I too am a first time mom and it didn't really hit me until recently I thought omg what did we do? I have no idea how to care for an infant, but at the same time I can't wait to meet her and am so excited. So although I know I know nothing I feel like the baby and I are in this together (she knows nothing either, so at least we are on the same page ;-) ). I'm sure you'll be great and will catch on quickly. Good luck and enjoy your little one =).
Lol don't worry, I have been feeling the exact same way, I just took a road trip and was thinking "holy crap I'll never be able to go on a roadtrip again without my baby"....or at least not for a very long time, same with even going to restaurants or to malls, or at least having to find a babysitter! It is really intense but savour it I'm sure you'll make a great mother :D
I'm also a first time mom so I'll be learning as i go. my mom and MIL are a phone call or 5 minutes away. i also thing some things will come natural, i cant wait!
LOL!! I'm sorry I dont' mean to laugh, it's just your wording was soo cute. Those are very real fears that most new moms have. Being as you are a first time Mom, the nurses at the hospital should show you how to do everything, if they don't, ASK! Dont' feel stupid or silly becuase babies don't come with instruction manuals Some things WILL come naturally, others will take some time and instruction. You'll do just fine!! When you get home the first several weeks are probably going to be filled with feedings, changing diapers and sleeping whenever you can!! Of course, if you EVER have any questions, you know that those of us here that are "experienced" will be here to help you!!! You went into pregnancy not knowing what to expect and have done just fine....it will be the same when the baby is here!
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