Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

idk what to do anymore.

Im venting more than asking a question. Im 37 weeks pg and I can't handle my husbands drinking anymore. I told him if he was drunk or high when I go into labor I didn't want him at the hospital. He still decides to continue to drink despite of what I told him. It ***** BC I hired a photographer for the birth and it will just make me sad to know I might do it alone BC I really don't want him there if he's not sober. He just can't control himself so I'm stressed out 6 days out of the week and the one day he's sober he's to tired to do anything BC he's busy recovering from all the other days. I just needed to vent guys. I hope all the mommies are doing well. We are almost there!!
10 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
*leaving him ikno the first few months , ill b stressed/ bcuz the kids wnt grow up w.him or @least see him everyday like they use too , but its better to leave now then later iguesss ... & ireally dnt want that example for my kids & iset my mind in ikno ill be sad the first few days , wks , & months but in the long run iwnt regret it ill b okay. My mom left my dad she had 5kids if she  had left him due to lots of cheating , if she wouldn't leave she would of been in the same situation its been 13yrs now & ikno in the long run she doesnt regret it yeah @first few days she was sad but shea ok now there's lots of fishes in the sea anyways lol same w.my mother n law she left her husband due to lots of cheating if she wouldnt had done that she would of been living the same situation, she was sad @first didnt kno how to move on money wise & alone but she did its beeen 2yrs & in the long run she doesn't regret it.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Congratulations on the baby ^ @macp1987 , iwas due 09/10th she decided to come out on 08/29th lol. My husband & i haven't really talked , we've mad @each other since like the last wks of July , if we talked it was for the kids or the bills. But anyways , it's still the same we're just that mad @each other. & ididnt let him no when iwas having my contractionss ifelt like he was there he was gonnna stress me out so , ileft it @that itold him til the nxt day , & he didnt show up meaning he didnt see her til when iwent home & ialso didnt put my littlo girl his last name he thought iwas playing but this time iwas wasnt. Ikept my word on him not being in the delivery room & about his last name. Idk if he's drinking/smoking still whenever im not home ihighly do think he is & yeah he'll help w.the kids here & there but between him & i things arent going any better. Im seriouslyyyy thinking of keaving him
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes you've made a good decision in letting him know you're not playing games. Holding and seeing your little one def changes your entire perspective on how you want him to grow up and who you want around. Unfortunately my guy hasn't changed much at all and I'm just trying to hurry up and get my stuff together so that I can either move out or take over the apt. He helps me out a little but not like I wish especially BC he's always drunk. I'm better off alone. It just makes me so sad that I'm in a situation like this and more BC I see my son and I think how is it possible that you rather do drugs and drink then to have him in his life forever. I see my son and I start crying BC it makes me so emotional that he might grow up not having his dad around. What's sadder is that he doesn't care enough to stop his habit. I wish you the best of luck and I know having your little one will give you the strength you need to move on.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
CONGRATULATIONS!! Im still awaiting my little guy, without much progress with his father. We have actually split up and i told him he can stay with me at the house until the baby comes home from the hospital after he is born but then if he plans to continue to smoke his pot and drink he will need to get a place of his own. He doesn't much care for this plan, but i dont want any of that around the baby, im hoping since ive made it clear how serious of a matter this is for me he will stop but if not i have already talked to a mutual friend who agreed to let him stay there until he can get his own place. I love him dearly and have told him that, but i love my son more and he deserves to live in a home where he is top priority not drugs and alcohol. Best of luck to you guys and your new bundle of joy
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes I completely understand what you're saying. I hope that everything turns out great for you. I hope that they realize that they can't take back missing their baby's birth. I delivered my baby on 08/31 and he's just so perfect. He was buzzed the night before and so I told him I didn't want him there and that Iwas gonna drive myself to the hospital instead the next day since I was being induced. I told him I didn't care to have his company there and that I wasn't gonna wake him up to take me to the hospital. I guess he realized I wasn't playing and so he woke up before I did to make sure he was ready by thetime I woke up and he ended up ttaking me to the hospital. Now the problem is his drinking and how he can't control it. He drinks about 5-6 days out of the week where he's drunk and does drugs sometimes too and it just breaks my heart that her can't stop for the sake of his newborn son. All I can tell you is keep your head up and do what you need to do for you and your baby
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I feel so bad for you but am relieved i am not the only one going through this kind of situation. Im 37wks also and my guy smokes more then anything but has even started having some drinks as well in just the last few months. I feel like he uses being scared as an excuse bc this is our first baby together and that has made him do it more regularly. I also told him i dont want him in the delivery room if he will be under the influence of something because i will need support and understanding. I feel like if he cared about me or the baby the behavior would have stopped, especially by now. I also feel like by continuing to get high and drink when lets face it pregnancy is like a ticking time bomb...yes i could go another 3wks but my water could break within the hour as well is selfish and irresponsible, the point of him being in the room when i deliver is to HELP not simply stand back and witness our son being born, he needs to be able to help sooth me and comfort me in my time of pain, and share the joy of the experience. If hes high...or has a buzz i just dont see how that will be possible.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yea he seems like he just doesn't care at all BCiItalk and cry to him about it and he still goes out and buys himself more beer. It ddoesn't help thathis family enjoys drinking just as much. The thing is he does even more hardcore stuff when he drinks. He does cocaine and I'vetalked to his family about it and they just say hell change when he wants too. When iIconfront him about it he goes crazy . My sisters know about his drinking and drug use but my parents don't. His family also says hopefully he will change once he's born but I doubt it.  He already has one daughter and says she'shis ionlyworld and that still hasnt changed him. I just gotta confront the fact that it looks like im  gonna be doing it all alone.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My husbands has liked smoking weed/drinking. He always says hes gonna change but he'll b good for a couple months but then hes doing it again.  He does it when im not home w.the kids it still pisses me off. In 2 days frm now ill b 37wks ... This is our 3rd. Ifeel like no matter what ido & give him he''ll always b the same its so unfair. & yeah , ialready spoke to him about him not being in the labor room & about our daughter wnt have his last name bcuz it just seems like he doesnt care!! So , why should he b in the delievey room ijust feel like he'll stress me out even more so im vry confident ican do it alone. Thank God ihave my mom & sisters to help me outt w.my other two kids.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your feedback def something that made me feel way better. I hope he does open up his eyes which I doubt. The timesbweve gotten into it I've told him he'sgonna he the one to regret it bBC he'sgonna be the one to miss out on eeverythinglike his first word n steps. He said he wasn't gonna miss out on anything which killed me on the inside but I didn't show him it hurt me.  He already has a kid from a previous relationship and its like shes basically his entire world and so it doesn't matter if he's not apart of his first sons life BC he has his daughter. It does really suck that he's drunk or buzzed by the time hes home it really stresses me out and breaks my heart everyday.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I can t imagine how horrible you must feel everyday knowing he probably won't even be able to drive you to the hospital. He is the one who is going to regret it. At this point just worry about you and your child and forget about him. It'll make you stronger and the last thing you need is to worry about him. You have plenty going on. Hopefully he opens his eyes and realizes whathes doing. Good luck!
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy: Sep 2015 Babies Community

Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?