Advice? Am I being selfish?

[Rachelrenecloyd]

So I'm 21 years old FTM, I was due last Friday and if my baby boys not here by this Friday I'll be induced. My boyfriend has a twin brother who's currently over sea's serving in afgahnistan and recently found out his wife was cheating on him so he's getting a divorce. He's returning home the second week of September . His brother lives in Colorado and we live in Wisconsin. My boyfriends mother and father said they would pay my boyfriends way to Colorado for a week when his brother comes back to the states, which means I'd be by myself that week and no one in the household would be working. I worked my whole pregnancy, two jobs, up until two weeks ago. But him working what he's been working now barely can cover our bills. Am I being selfish for not wanting him to go? His brother is getting also leave the first week of October and coming to stay with us for a week in Wisconsin. I feel split on this situation

[Rachelrenecloyd]

Thank you ladies! (: he a awesome baby! We're so blessed!

[victoriamichelle1010]

Aww congrats on the babyyy!! And im glad everything is working out! hope everything goes well(:

[LibraMum]

Sounds like everything worked itself out!! :) Congrats & good luck tonight/tomorrow on the birth

[Rachelrenecloyd]

Thanks everyone! We're actually discussing it now and I'm in labour! I think the reality is hitting him now and he wants to stay. And he made that decision on his own, thank god! Lol thank you everyone for the support! Ha adoption, I still can't believe she said that!

[soulabrown]

Honestly. What's more important? His unborn child(Ren) his grown brother?

[wayfunmommy]

From the experience of a Veteran, your brother in law will, more than likely want some dang space. If he's coming to visit y'all a couple weeks later, I don't see the point of his family crowding around d him. I get it, his heart is broken. However, he is also just getting back from a deployment and needs some down time before every one rushes in to "comfort" him. Have your guy talk to him. I'm sure he'll understand the situation y'all are in and want his brother to focus on his new baby. If I were your guy, I'd be telling my mom to calm down and back off.

[soldierwify]

Wow!!! Adaption not at all! Hun just talk to him! And maybe if he does go have a friend come stay with you or even maybe his parents should loan you money while they send the baby daddy away to his brother or.. instead they buy ur bf ticket to go they should go them self or buy the brother a ticket to come stay with yall so ur not alone, like my husband is from Wisconsin and his family his brother lives in Wisconsin also but we are going to be first time parents also and I would freak out if he was gone when we just gave birth! Just talk to him and DON'T mind what some of the things ppl say in her, Noone is ever ready for a child you learn as you go! Prayers for yall! And a healthy  baby(s)

[Dana_27]

I seriously don't know what post she was reading. I didnt get you weren't ready at all. I understand your concern but I think the other ladies are right talk to him and compromise. Being a first time mother can be scary I know I was three first time around but I think your going to do great!

[victoriamichelle1010]

Yeah that was uncalled for... in no way does this situation make them not ready for a child. I ckmpletely understand being worried, im a first time mom also. It would definitely be scary. Dont even worry about her. she obviously doesnt understand your situation correctly...

[Rachelrenecloyd]

I'm concerned about one week, when my child is first born, being by myself because my boyfriend won't be here for A WEEK  and you're telling me I should give my child up for adoption? You're nuts. Any new mom is nervous to be by themselves within the first couple of weeks.

[Rachelrenecloyd]

Whoa whoa whoa, slow down there. I'm not ready to have a child because I don't want boyfriend to leave me with our child by myself when he's not even two weeks old!? Because I don't know how's it's going to be being a first time mother? You're kidding me right? My child already has everything he needs. Yeah, money right because I'm not working but no one is 100% financially stable to take on a child.  Is do anything for this child to have what he needs,. Sounds like you need to check yourself throwing around adoption because I'm a nervous mother. Rediculious.

[Charrua33]

Sounds like you or your bf aren't ready to be parents. Are you ready for this huge responsibility? Is the father ready? Have you thought about giving the baby for adoption? Sounds like you have no support from anyone.  

[Rachelrenecloyd]

I definitely see your ladies points. Which is also why I'm struggling to ask him to stay.  Our baby won't even be two weeks old when he goes and I know I'm going to struggle since I won't have any help, being a FTM it's easier to have someone here with you to help lol I feel horrible for his brother to in the same sense. Lol I can only imagine the post pregnancy blues with him not here! Haha(:

[Scovill]

Also maybe once your little boy gets here, his daddy might not want to leave him so soon.

[Scovill]

I would talk it over w your boyfriend and come to some kind of compromise.  Brothers are very close usually, but twins have a bond that's even tighter which can't be explained.  I have twin boys which are 17 and they are very protective over one another.  I see your point also, and your situation ***** honestly.  Part of having a good relationship is compromising w each other.

[victoriamichelle1010]

My bf is a twin to.. And apparently its some huge bond thing that ill never understand. like i said just try to talk him into waiting till october and see what he says. If he just gets mad then and doesnt wanna hear it then just tell him to make sure everything us good at homr before he leaves.. bills/ groceries etc. Youd rather just let it be then argue, youre already gonna have a lot to worry about that week.

[alanaRoberts]

He should be at home with you, you should be main priority now… in my opinion x

[Rachelrenecloyd]

I totally get where your coming from. But in my defense when he deployed for Afghanistan his wife wasn't there last minute either, which was while I was pregnant. so I used the only funds we had at that time to get him a plane ticket to see him off and he went to Colorado for 5 days then. I mean his parents are going there regardless as well so he will have them there but I know that still not the same as having your twin brother. Idk. It's a rough spot

[victoriamichelle1010]

I would talk to him about it and see if he could just wait until october but if he seems dead set on going, he really sjould be there for his brother.. they go through a lot and to find out the person your waiting to come hlme to isnt waiting for you. Thats gotta be nearly impossible to dwal with.. if he really wants to go just make sure he will have the money for bills when he gets back.. i understand he wont be there for a week. But you have the rest of your life with him. His brother now has no one.. so just try to see his point of view also.. thats the best advice i can give. Good luck:/ hope it helped..