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Avatar universal

Baby shower venting

so I told my family that I do not want to know when my baby shower will be and just have it on a Sunday after church or something because. Have image issues about my weight. Before becoming pregnant I was 200lbs and threw morning sickness I only weigh 188 now. People are saying how I don't look pregnant I just look like I put on a few pounds and it bothers me. But my family who have gone to appointments with me know I've lost weight and because of it they decided to tell me that it was going to be sometime in November. I know being pregnant I am supposed to gain weight and all but I'd rather not be stressing to look perfect and just be myself the day of the baby shower. I completely freaked out on my best friend for telling me it's in November and I feel guilty about it but at the same time I really do want to know. Sorry for the venting but is there anyway I can tell people to not tell me without freaking out again. 24 weeks today and I'm due December 25.
3 Responses
973741 tn?1342342773
Hi.  I'm sorry you are having such stress and really sorry that you are feeling so badly about yourself and things like how you look and weigh to the point that it is making planning your shower difficult.  Hon, I'm sure everyone has said this to you but life is about more than how you look.  Those who love you aren't judging you.  Even if they make comments like you don't look pregnant ===  they are trying to compliment you or just making an offhand comment that they don't realize YOU are sensitive about.  We are all human and working on things and you kind of have to just keep that in perspective because people on the outside don't always know or get it.  

I had gained a lot of weight (when not pregnant).  grrr.  I was so upset with myself and I tried to avoid things for a bit.  This really compounded how I was feeling about myself.  I just tried to let it go and continue to work on my things that I needed to (lost the weight with much effort) and do me.  Honestly, I was much happier just having an attitude that "hey, I'm trying and can only control so much. "  Please try not to worry as much about how others view your looks.  I bet they think MUCH LESS about it than you think.

Now, it is hard to have a shower for someone without including them a bit.  Plus, I bet your bestie is excited about it.  A bit insensitive of you to get mad at her for mentioning the date when she is kindly planning an event to celebrate your pregnancy.  :>)  Think about that.  And maybe apologize to her.  

As to shower timing, I was due with my first right around when you are due with yours.  In truth, I'd ask them to move the date up.  The last 8 weeks of pregnancy are a bit on the brutal side.  You don't want to be driving over to Babies R Us, waddling in, finding a big box of that one thing you didn't get at your shower, schlepping it back to your car and getting it into the place you live.  I had mine late October, and when I had to go do this in November, I was dying.  So, a tad bit earlier shower is better for this reason.  Plus, putting things together when you are heading to the end of pregnancy is exhausting and more awkward with the bump.  Husband helped with most things but it was still cumbersome.  So, I'd see if they won't have your shower in October so you are ready, know what else you need to go get on your own and can do so comfortably.  Just my two cents on timing.  :>)

anyway, good luck hon.  Remember, you are pregnant.  Your body is being used for a great purpose right now.  Be proud of that and don't let any comments one way or the other affect this joyful time.  peace and hugs
Avatar universal
Honey don't worry about it I am currently 30weeks pregnant and before my pregnancy I was 215 and now I am 180 i am still sick people say don't look pregnant either but I feel my daughter move all the time
Avatar universal
If u haven't gain your weight back your one of the lucky ones.  Just as long as your baby is healthy, thats all that matters. I started at 210 went down to 200 now am 208 :(. I wish i would have lost more. Am 27 weeks

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