FIL/grandpa situation.

[B1128]

How do I handle this properly? My boyfriends father is the only one in our families who lives in Kentucky with us. Since we've moved here it has been a roller coaster with him as it always has for my boyfriend. He is VERY disrespectful to me, says things about me to others, family and people around our area. He speaks poorly, very poorly to me, and has always been rude and nasty! Until he comes around for his sorry habit of an apology. He has always treated my boyfriend like garbage and talks down to him. It infuriates me!!! This man is 50 years old and acts like he is 20. He has different girlfriends constantly and always had us pretending they were the only one -I think it's bs and we stopped doing that. In fact we all stopped talking about a month ago because I asked him if it was just going to be the three of us for my boyfriends birthday dinner at his house (amazing he even remembered) and he flipped out on me and said more s.h.i.t.t.y I nesseccary things to me. Which was ignorant.

Anyways, our due date is the 14th, this Saturday. His dad is now back in town, and I'm having major anxiety. I talked with my boyfriend this morning, and told him I don't want him here unless he is here. At all. And that I've put up with his horrible words and behavior since I've met him, and I don't want to just because our daughter will be here, that I won't BECAUSE she is here.

I am afraid of being unreasonable? Is that ridiculous to ask of the situation? I am now having anxiety because I am worried my boyfriend will feel in the middle, but if it were up to me the man would not be around period! And as of right now goes he hasn't been, hasn't even texted or called or anything, but I know he's going to try snaking his way in sooner then later when she arrives...

I've never been treated so badly from an adult and I just want to do right by myself and my daughter. I refuse to have her grow up hearing "oh that's just grandpa when he apologizes take it for what it is" fck that.

[B1128]

I will do that! I will do just that! If he thinks he can come around with an apology, I will tell him EXACTLY what I feel and how things will go. I will be in control and he will know it! I don't think I will ever want him to be around just to be, I think I will stand my ground on him only being here when my boyfriend is. Nothing else. I don't care what anyone has to say, as in his mother will probably try and stick her nose into it when she's here for a week. But I don't care. I'm the one being treated like garbage and being talked to nastily. No one else. And no one else has ever stuck up for ME every other time he has talked down to me or about me. I just feel as if I'm done, I'm going to do it and not expect others too. Especially having my baby. He will learn to either respect me and my boyfriend in order to be around, or he will become damn good at shutting his mouth!!! I've dealt with it because my boyfriend does, but no more! It's not just us anymore, I'm mommy and he is daddy and we have a precious baby to look after and protect and I truly believe to protect her is to protect ourselves. Is that not right?

[B1128]

I just want to make sure I am doing right by my daughter. I am none of his business, and neither is our relationship. As far as I am concerned, there's no need for him to be around me if he is feeling some type of way. I understand I will be having his grand daughter, but he is not the father and he will not be treated as if with specific rights. As in mistreating me and being nasty and it being overlooked by any means!

I don't want to be that person who keeps their grand daughter away, but I don't want to put up with him being awful either just because she's here. I don't want for her to miss out on a relationship with him at all, and she won't when she is older. But he needs to learn his behavior will not just be pushed aside by a simple "that's just Paul" or a sorry habit of an apology. I'm done with it. I'm done with him treating my boyfriend like he is nothing and I'm done being treated like I am nothing. I am not his kid and I will not find an excuse to overlook his awful personality. I don't have too.

They don't give any care to anyone but themselves at all. And I find it absurd. They are adults and act like little kids. I can stand up to his father as we both feel the same way (thank god) but his mother is a different story. But she also lives in Florida so it's not as big of an issue as his garbage dad. But I'm none of their business. At all. And neither is our relationship.

[slm39]

Nope, not unreasonable at all. Completely isolate him. By ignoring him you'll be teaching your little girl not to put up with being treated like and talked to like crp too. Be strong and stand your ground. If he does sincerely apologise and lets you explain exactly how it should be then it's up to you if you give him 1 more chance. But make it clear that you're in control and you're calling the shots. Maybe your boyfriend has never had the courage to stand up to him. Good luck.

[laur23]

I don't think your being unreasonable what so ever... I remember reading your one post about him and your mil and I would not keep putting up w that bs!! They seem like they just have awful attitudes and don't care about how anyone else feels but their selves.

[Jennyleigha]

Im with you. If any grown person is not helping to raise your child or paying bills in your household, they have no say so or bearing on raising and maintaining yours.