in law issues

[ftm88]

Since the beginning of my marriage my mother in law has insulted me in one or the other way. Within 15 days of my wedding that I spent with her she told me that my marriage was just a compromise. Then she left back to her hometown and still tormented me. My husband knew about it all, but still didn't do anything about it. I am 8 months pregnant and finally moving in with my husband and my in law is asking for dowry. Having a little girl it's scary to even think that what if her future is like mine. Sorry for the long message!!!

[mommajen2015]

My husband wanted this baby don't get me wrong I do now but getting pregnant wasn't something I always wanted to do again. Now his daughter is moving in with her mom after we have had her for 3 years . Now he acts like lif is over. He has not helped prepare for our little addition (due sept 12) and I'm getting highly annoyed!! I just keep telling myself I raised my first little boy(out of wedlock and now 7) by myself and I can do it again !!

[janellemassy]

Btw my bf also will not talk abt our baby the same way i do. He doesnt always seem like he is excited and does not like to talk abt everything i do involving the baby. But i kno its bc men do not experience whatbwe do being pregnant. Alot of the time the baby is not even real to them until its is born. Ive realized the closer i get to my due date the more real and excited he becomes abt the baby. If u feel he may not rlly love the baby unless it is a strong emotion abt it mayb u should just talk to him abt it or wait until u have the baby to see how he acts around her to decide.

[janellemassy]

Your husband does not have to be close with his family to have the common mammas boy attitude. I have been with my bf for almost 4 yrs and he still will not usually say anything to his mom or sister if they say something rude or are passive agressive at me. He just brushes it off and will say tht he has delt with it his whole life so i can deal with it occasionaly. It makes me so angry bc i should not have to put up with it. I dnt kno ur relationship but im assuming if u push him it will lead to fighting bc he is not going to want to say anything to his mother. If u want her to stop being rude to u u have to stand up for urself. My bfs dad used to be rude to me but one day he made me super mad and i was really hormonal so i told him i was not going to listen to him and tht he was being a compleate di.ck!! He hasnt been rude to me since! But his mom and sis are another story.

[KriCro77]

My mother in law is a nightmare! Like "Everybody Loves Raymond" mother in law... Always has something passive aggressive to say. Always insulting. I feel for you! One thing I've learned is to not put my husband in the middle as much as possible. Sometimes you don't have a choice though. And ultimately your husband should have YOUR back and support you. But its his mom, which puts him in a tough spot. I finally just stood up for myself with my mil and it felt so good! It sounds like the mil is just one issue though? Hes not supporting you in other ways?

[alexis444]

What culture is your in laws? I was under the impression dowery was paid by his parents or himself to your parents? Why would she ask for dowery your parents would be the ones to ask right? They don't get the money and get you they give the money to get you as their daughter in law. That's what I though anyways

[QueenRubyRed]

I've never heard of that before ftm. I'm also sorry about your situation you should talk to your husband about how you feel and about how his mother makes you feel if you haven't tried already

[QueenRubyRed]

What is a dowry?

[ftm88]

Thank you! I only wish my husband supported me.

[mrsp416]

I have issues with mine they are extremely hurtful and say upsetting things. Me & my sil are preg at same time my 2nd baby her 1st my mil told me its all about my sil when i 1st got pregnant. I text ultrasound pics w/updates they go ignored & when i talk about the baby they are disinterested SO hurtful! We live on our own thx god but i am telling you now do not move in there. Once u do she knows she has you over a barrell and will drive up nuts. Mine did it and when my baby was 3 mon we moved the hell out to go be our own family. Its something the 3 of us never regetted. And we refuse to let their disinterest and lack of excitement for our 2nd baby ruin our happiness and the joy we feel. Dont let her steel your happy honey. I know i wont let anyone steel ours

[kerraayy]

Hi!  I do not think you should move in with her.  Is there anywhere else you can go?  You can't be under all of the stress of dealing with her while pregnant if that is how she is acting.   If it is to save money could you possibly stay with another relative or friend?  My in laws live across th country two flights away.  Thank goodness because the MIL is so controlling.  I guess she means well.   Has too much time on her hands and is rude to me too.  Her child is expecting and she wrote on social media yesterday, wow I cant believe a grandchild is on the way.  Um..... actually it is two.  Smh!  Don't over analyze.   Don't expect your husband to confront her...... he should respect your wishes though and certainly come up with a better option than living with the in laws.  Try to suggest other ways should could help.  Couls she start a college fund or buy a crib?  Maybe she would like to actually help.  Not sure what to say about dowry stuff.  Good luck.  Thinking of you!!!!

[baby_mickey]

I hope everything goes well for you. Sending positive vibes your way. :)

[ftm88]

Like every other pregnant lady here I wish to have the same kind of enjoyment of pregnancy but it's just so hard. I wish my husband supported me. I don't even think his love for his baby is even genuine. Please pray for me that me and my baby survive this with patience and dignity.