You have every right to be mad and feel the way you do. I do think that maybe banning your husbands dad from seeing the newborn is maybe a tad too much. If it is really as bad as you say it is and they have no regard for you or your family then yes, maybe they need to be put in the back burner for a while. They should have told you what was going on. God forbid you get something and it turns out to be worse for you than it was for her. You have a toddler and an almost newborn baby to think about. What of she had already been born? She could have endangered the babys life.
Maybe I am going overboard but come on, if yu knew you were sick whyd even risk it. She should have waited a week then had yall over
I gues I mean back burner more than banned. They are already not allowed at the hospital because I can't handle the stress that comes with them. They simply don't take cues to leave and will literally 'stop by' unannounced and try and stay for hours on end.
I'm more worried that even if we say 'Stay away when sick, and keep visit to 30min max' they will come anyway and stay too long. And with a new baby I simply don't want to risk the health of my family especially a new baby. And with a toddler and newborn I will be exhausted that just a fact of life.
And with my first they showed up the day we got home from the hospital and stayed for 3 hours! I had literally given birth less than 48 hours prior.
She was not contagious by then if she had been sick for a week. Not saying she knew that, but most people who get a cold or the flu do know this, you're actually more contagious when you still look well right before you manifest with the symptoms, than after you have had it for several days. Too bad you dislike her so much that this caused you for massive resentment.
You will simply have to make it very clear with them what kind of visits you want, when, where, under what conditions, and how long. My baby and I had a hospital room full of people within 4 hours of my C-section and I didn't mind at all; it's all in how much you like the people. If you simply don't like your in-laws, you are going to have to accept this and admit it to your husband without drama, and unless he can persuade you to loosen up, draw tight guidelines and stick with them. This might give you problems later if the kids really love those grandparents, so choose your battles. But if you can't stand them (particularly her) you may as well own up and take responsibility for it, and arrange your life accordingly.