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How to accept gay pride gift...?

My sister-in-law is gay and has a g/f who has a 2 year old son. She told my husband and me that she is going to get us a baby tee-shirt that says 'I love my gay aunt!' We both accept and support her lifestyle, but we don't believe she should be allowed to use our baby as her gay pride poster child.  She and her g/f don't wear gay pride clothes nor make their toddler. I need help on addressing this issue when she decides to give us the gay pride babywear. I don't want my baby's picture on FB in the tee either.
27 Responses
Avatar universal
I would just thank her for the gift, and maybe only put it on while she's there
Avatar universal
Maybe say you dont wanna put that language on your child. A lot of places gay can be concidered an offensive word. Even if they are.
Avatar universal
And how do I address the issue when she gets out her phone to take a photo (where she'll more than likely post on FB)?
Avatar universal
Let her know you don't like to have your kids picture posted on someone else fb only you and your spouse are allowed to post photos of her
Avatar universal
I wish I could help more. That's a tricky situation. Maybe get your husband to talk to his sister privately.
Avatar universal
I would just accept it say thank you you don't need to put it on your child if you don't want it's your choice as your child s parents there has been plenty of baby cloths that I received I never used tags still on since I had so much clothing eventually they grow out of them
Avatar universal
Thank you for all your help. The difficult part is she is all about drama- I hope she knows we accept her lifestyle but when it comes to any viewpoint besides her own she acts like we are against her if we have a different opinion...which my husband faves if he talks to her about it. He doesn't like it shoved down his throat either. We don't buy 'heterosexual pride' propaganda for them. Between a rock and a hard place here.
Avatar universal
No but society shoves heterosexual pride down your SIL and her partners throats everyday. Would you stand up for your SIL if someone discriminated against her in front of you? If you would,  then you probably need to jump in her shoes for a second and try to understand that she's said this because she's proud to be an Aunt!
And for the record, I know thats a hard ask, because  its clear that the Lgbtq community is completely foreign to you. If you make an issue out of it, it'll make it a drama. Instead,  if u know the sex,  perhaps ask for some hand me downs? If she does remember and buys the shirt,  put it on ur bub, let her take a pic, ask her not to fb, just because its ur bub and ur choice about photos of ur bubs. But do it in a way which says thats a blanket decision for all the family regarding photos on fb, not just her. Good luck!
Avatar universal
OK please don't think I am weird. But are you from south Bend in? I have a friend named Emily who is gay with a girlfriend with a 2 year old. They have always called her brother pogo! Might be a coincidence lol. But I don't keep it contact with her..it know she can be dramatic and will probably take it the wrong way but it have to totally agree with you!  
Avatar universal
That's a really hard one. Maybe offer to buy her toddler a shirt that says I love my straight aunt? and then say We can put our kids together for a picture for our photo albums. It could be a way that you both show support for each other's choices and later use the picture to teach your kids acceptance and love of others that may be different from yourself.
Avatar universal
I wouldn't mind my child wearing it, i don't discriminate lol . Everybody has there different views on it though. Maybe she's just proud and that's the way she wants to go about it
Avatar universal
I was a member of LGBTQ to support my college roommate so yes- I know the community and have been there to support the events. No imo I am not discriminating (unjust treatment) against her. Just like we support her I would like her to support us.
Avatar universal
Say only if u buy a matching shirt. One that says " I am gay and I love my niece" hahaha
Avatar universal
I would just accept it and not put it on the baby. Id put it with the rest of the clothes and if she asks about it just tell her "oh this baby has so much clothing I forgot all about it I'll have to look for it later" then dont. Hopefully by the time you "find" it your baby will be grown out of it by then
8722107 tn?1399602652
It's your child just tell them no.
Avatar universal
This is difficult as I am having an issue with it right now with my sil her fiancee and my three year old daughter.  My daughter loves my little pony and rainbow dash, a character on Milo, so every time my silver is around she is always making comments about how my daughter supports her and is probably gay because she likes that specific character. I love my silver and her fiancee they are two of my best friends, but I do not think that it is appropriate to make those comments to a 3 year old in either direction even if she is trying to be funny. I have always said that it will not matter either way, but I think that's a discussion my husband and I should have with our children when the time comes, and not at 3. I am sorry I cant help with any advice as I have no idea how to handle the situation.  
Avatar universal
It's not that big of a deal to Let the child wear the shirt Unless you have a underline issue with homosexuals....
Avatar universal
I would let him wear it around the house when you feel like it, not necessary to her being present because you can take close up pics with the shirt without his face but if she took it, it would be his face included. Don't feel bad, although i have no bias, i wouldn't parade my son around in it either. It's like saying hi i have a African aunty or a tall one. Who cares. It's your child!  You let him wear whatever you want him to wear.
Avatar universal
I'd sit down privately with your sister and her gf and have an open and honest talk about how you feel about it. It might hurt their feeling more if your not honest. Let make sure you get the point across that's it's not about shaming or anything its about a personal and comfortable choice you and your husband have made.
9812003 tn?1452545539
Tell her what you stated. no matter how nice you say it, if she wants to take it the wrong way she will but hopefully she understands and it doesn't take it the wrong way. No one can decide but you and hubby what you put on your child she will just have to deal with it.
10539683 tn?1419401917
She should get a shirt that says I love my awesome aunt. Or my aunt rocks!!! Best auntie in the world. My aunt is better than your aunt! Buy it and show her. She would probably laugh! She just probably wants to be included...
Avatar universal
Wow, I don't get it. Why are gay people making innocent (not yet influenced) babies where gay pride type clothing. Completely inappropriate and ridiculous. Say thanks for the gift and if you don't want to, don't put your kid in it. My friend went to the thrift store and bought a ton of clothes for my baby. I accepted it, smiled and said thanks even though I probably wouldn't want my kid in them. But then again after I washed them, I realized what's the big deal. They look like other clothes,so I threw them in with the rest of the clothes so I wouldn't discriminate. I would say let's ask some gay women on the boards how they feel about the situation, but they wouldn't be on here, now would they?
9440890 tn?1415878121
Shushu5- why wouldn't gay women be on here?  There are plenty of gay women that use artificial insemination that would find these boards pretty helpful.
Avatar universal
My son wore a shirt as a baby that said "my uncle is awesome! (and single...)" I thought it was cute, and I think it's exactly the same thing. It doesn't make your kid a "poster child" for anything. It's a baby in a t-shirt. If you think you or your child will be judged for wearing it (even out in public! gasp!) then perhaps you're the one doing the judging.
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