I am being unreasonable??

[Val_Schoen]

My husband is planning a trip with his friends to Jamaica. I'm 33 weeks pregnant and he's planning on going when I'll be roughly 35-36 weeks.  All I asked him is to make it 5 days trip rather than a full week. Once he returns he has another getaway with his work for the weekend but at least this second trip is a few hours away.

I'm upset because a couple of his friends including my husband told be I was being unreasonable.  I got mad and told that they wouldn't understand unless they were pregnant. I waddle around, i'm tired, I can lift heavy stuff and don't feel the greatest... you know how it is. I want my support person close by... at driving distance! What if something happened?! Please let me know your opinions.

[RockRose]

My husband likes to do guy trips,  and I think it's really good for both husband and wife to get away with friends alone sometimes.

I think it's very very reasonable that you asked for 5 days,  and my guess is your husband probably thinks that's reasonable too but he doesn't want to look whipped in front of his friends,  especially that empty headed wife of his friend who didn't see your side of it.

Really,  after 5 days how much more fun on the beach can you have?  

[kkhh24]

My boyfriend worries about going to work and leaving me let alone a holiday away. I wouldnt react very well with that at all. I hope you are ok though and not allowing yourself to stress too much. Take lots of time for yourself and baby

[mw89]

I think it goes both ways though. After you guys havw the baby you may want your vacation time too alone. Being a mom or dad is hard work. And yes sometimes a break is a great idea. Maybe make a deal with him after baby gets a little older yoy get tohave your little vacation while he keeps the baby. WEven though you are married and almost have baby you have to have your independence to be you.

[Crystalwright97]

You  deffintly have a right to kick off trips when ur that far along is only reasonable if he's in military IDE go mad aswell I'm going 32week in 2days she's trying to come early aswel so if my boyfriend did that IDE tell him to keep there

[BLESSEDwith5tobe]

I think @lorinewmum had a great idea since you dont mind him going for 5 days then it would be pretty fun to invite some girls over for girl time....unless you would rather be alone of course lol

[Val_Schoen]

I appreciate all the feedback. In his defense this is our first baby and it probably hasn't really sunk in. He has been very involved with everything up until now. And I am OK with him leaving for 5 days. I mean I don't like it but once baby comes his life is going to much different. I just don't think them going for 7 days just to come back and go away again is reasonable. So my compromise is 5 days.

And his friends telling me I'm unreasonable infuriates me! Yes they are actually married but have no kids. I let it rip on the wife who was voicing her opinion. I told her when she gets pregnant to tell me then how she would feel.

Anyways thanks again everyone for making me feel like I wasn't just being a crazy person.

[LeahBear]

Like others have said, you're not being unreasonable. I think the fact that you are only asking he goes for 5 days is great on your part. My fiance said he wasn't even going fishing (30 minutes away from our home) once I'm 35 weeks. I would also be frustrated because as an uncomfortable pregnant person I'd want a getaway too but that's not going to happen any time soon. Good luck and do your best to stay strong!

[lorinewmum]

I think hes being unreasonable and should be made aware of it without it leading to an argument between you two. Try not to worry too much. What about inviting over some ladies (girlfriends,sister or mum) to stay for the week? You can cook, clean and prep baby clothes and room, really do fun stuff like doing each others hair, nails etc. Hes already made plans and probably wont change them, so you try to have fun at home. Let the girls cook for and pamper you, you deserve it! Also let your partner know that when he gets back, he owes you loads of tlc and pampering! Best of luck with it all, not long to go!

[destinymc7]

I must be a little different. I would be worried about my husband going but I would also support him if I could. Pregnancy is hard not just on the woman, dad's are going through an emotional time but may not verbalize it. Let him know that one day you will get an opportunity like this and he will have to stay alone with baby. I would also set up a plan B about who will take you to the hospital and how much it will cost to get a flight back at a moments notice. You haven't mentioned money so if that's not a factor then he may not be worried about that. Ask him what he is getting out of this trip. If it's just to drink and party then he can do that here if it's to celebrate his last few days with no kid then consider it and if you still say no at least you heard him out. Men don't have the connection with the baby as we do they don't get to feel life inside of them but assure you the moment he sees that little one he will melt. Good luck mama and hopefully you are able to talk it out with him.

[specialmom]

I definitely wouldn't love it.  I get where you are coming from.  I guess I'd have an important question for him . . .   what are his intentions after he is a father?  Running off all the time to party with friends?  That wouldn't fly with me.  My husband does get ONE weekend a year and he goes to a cabin with 3 other dads and they play cards and watch football.  Harmless.  And good for him to get some guy time because he is pretty dedicated the rest of the year.  :>)  

so, I'd start having some talks with him about how he views family life and parenthood and if he is IN or just going to continue to do his own thing.

Now, if he is a good man, I'd let him get his guy time out of his system because babies DO change everything.

It is doubtful if this is your first baby and you aren't having any 'things' that look like you might deliver early----  that his being gone in that tine frame wont affect the birth at all.  and if something does happen, he knows he has to catch a plane straight back.  

but I think I'd be more concerned with the big picture of how he is going to be as a coparent--  thinking of you and the kids or himself once the baby gets here.  good luck

[wyattsmom2015]

Your husband should be the one at the hospital when you deliver. I had to go by ambulance the last baby and it is scary and not fun. I would say no way he would go. You are being reasonable, he on the other hand is not.

[Denise2346]

IM A GUY AND I THINK HES AN AS@ like if he doesn't care what u are going thru... He should be their by you all the way. I mean what if something were to happen while he's on his trip!

[Halynka]

You gave right yet don't over think this situation, do make backup plan who would take you to hospital should baby decide to arrive while he is away. Family, friend, or worse case scenario 911. You both r having this baby, he might need time to be away. My hubby will be leaving for a month after my baby's arrival so I will be in my own when she is only month old.

[BLESSEDwith5tobe]

He needs to get it together!!! ,that is absolutely crazy!!!! Anything can happen god forbid but you can go in labor anytime ask him how he would feel of he missed the birth!! Could he live with himself after that if his answer is yes then maybe you should reconsider your relationship! Good luck to you hope he makes the right decision.

[moji07]

Honestly I'm not married but if I was and he was planning a getaway without me, I would be planning his funeral lol jk... I don't think it's right but I guess it depends on the type of relationship u guys have. As for the timing I agree with all of u, it's plain wrong... u should be priority right now since ur so close to ur due date.

[mommyhails]

He needs to stay home! He is spending money on himself that should be going to the baby! Plus you don't exactly need constant supervision but he needs to be able to be there at a moments notice if you need him! Anything could happen and you'll never forgive him if he's not there

[waitingformhbaby]

I think he is being very selfish. My husband wouldn't even want to go to any other states when I am only 32 weeks. Leaving to another country when you are 35 weeks?? Doesn't sound right. Instead ask him to save the time and money for when the baby will arrive and you all can go on a vacation when the baby will be couple months old.

[victoriamarie7347]

I agree with all the comments here. My husband had a highly stressful job and I tried to be supportive of his need to get away for a bit in my first pregnancy. I really did try...but I wasn't supportive at all! I was so angry but we got into fights when I brought it up. Toward the end I would get so upset because if I went into labour I wouldn't have anyone to drive me to the hospital an hour away. Looking back, I still don't feel like I was being unreasonable. You should try talking to your husband again when it's just the two of you and you're both relaxed. Let him know what a big deal it could be.

[BonitaMichelle]

Let him go for the 7 days. He might need to get away before the baby comes. 5 days, 7 days? Is it really that big of a deal for you?

[worriedmomtobe2014]

I'd be damned if my man went anywhere on a vacation without me first off specially being pregnant and so close to due date ....if anything us woman who carry there children would need one not them and two is he nuts and please tell me your a younger couple bc if this is a grown man doing this he has a lot of growing up to do himself before the babys born ....he needs to keep his butt at home with you anything could happen and he's being the one who is selfish ...if something were to happen to you while he was gone or to thw baby ask him if he'd be able to live with himself knowing he was on vacation out of country while you were here going through somerhing .....he needs to get his priorities straight and thats family which is you and your baby is first and number one then work and his friends ....he needs to man up and quick I'd tell him straight if you leave were done bc obviously he doesn't care and you and baby shoulf be all he's thinking about specially this close to the end ....put him in line now or hell walk all over you ....

[KellSull]

Oh, I would be irate! You could have your baby at any time! Why would he want to risk missing the birth! What if you go into labor and can't get yourself to the hospital?! Put your foot down and tell him to get his priorities in line!

[Tati107]

You have every right to be upset. He should reconsider that trip. You and baby are more important.

[1NAMILLION]

You...unreasonable? !?! Ha...must be a joke...are they Frickkin serious? It's bad enough that he's going on a trip when you'll be at such a critical point in the pregnancy,  but, I think that he is being downright selfish...his "donkey" shouldn't be going ANYWHERE PERIOD!!!  His friends can't possibly be married or have children....they just can't and if they do I'd be the friends wife to bring this selfish stuff to a halt. These fellas must get away with any and everything from their companions. Hubby had better stop listening to the peanut gallery and realize the saying is so true...happy wife...happy life.

I hope that he changes his mind and dies the correct selfless thing as a hubby and father. Best wishes and congrats on baby!!

[robinwhite72209]

That's wrong and you have every right to be upset. He's being very selfish.