Aa
A
A
A
Close
Pregnancy: Social Community
17.3k Members
Avatar universal

I have a really big problem

A few days ago I found out that we are expecting our third boy.  And while most mom's would be happy I am suddenly thrown into a whirlwind of emotions.  I can't talk to my husband about it because I've went through this same type of depression during my last pregnancy.  I read it ends after he will be born.  But i always wanted a little girl. And it will now never happen. I feel selfish. This is the lady pregnancy I'll have,  i promised him.  But I have a great void in my soul right now,  and I don't know how to fix it.  I should be happy, but I'm not.  And now I feel even worse cause I feel selfish.  
15 Responses
12146080 tn?1426814472
Avatar universal
I'm so sorry,  I feel you on The depression though,  i get it bad during pregnancy.. it ***** :(  I have a girl and really want a boy bc my body is just not one to handle pregnancy well at all and after a boy im done.. we find out april 6 what this baby is and I'm praying its a boy. Dont feel bad tho love everything happens for a reason.. god will only give you what you can handle and lemme tell ya girls are crazy! Its not all sprinkles and glitter.. they're hard headed and bossy lol there's a rwason you had boys and this may of not or did make you feel better but it will all be ok.. once you see him everything will chsnge I'm sure and you will feel better
Avatar universal
As soon as I seen my second boy I was in love.  I know this will be temporary.  It's just hard cause I don't feel like I can share my sorrows wroth my husband, im afraid he will be disappointed in me for feeling this way.  
Avatar universal
I understand.  I desperately wanted another little girl and when I found out we were having a boy I cried in private for a week. I talked to my mom about it but couldn't tell my husband because he was so excited. He is adamant that since we have one of each he wants a vasectomy. I will never give my daughter a little sister or dress them up in matching outfits. It sounds shallow but it hurts really bad. I am not nearly as excited as I should be but it is getting better the closer i get to my due date and buying this little guy things.
Avatar universal
Past time i thought I was alone. But lay night,  i couldn't sleep so I did some reading. It is apperently a common type of depression.  I feel better talking about it now, even though it is only online. I also read that depression during pregnancy can have an impact on the development of the baby.  So I'm gonna try to think positive :)
Avatar universal
I am 5 weeks an was at work an started feeling sick an ended up getting sick like normal but this time there was a little bit of blood in it and I'm freaking out has anyone else had this problem? I guess it could be due to my house being dry and my nose but can't find anything on the internet... Please Help!
973741 tn?1342342773
Ahh, I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way.  You know, I've resigned myself that I will never have a daughter.  It kind of stinks because I would love to have one.  But, it doesn't make me love me love my boys any less.  :>)  do you have any nieces to dote on?  I have one and it is special.  And she says things like "I'll take care of you when you are old".  It's so cute.  I  know we'll be close forever.  My boys are my babies though.  

Anyway, ONE bright side is all the money I save by having all boys.  :>)  And my boys are good playmates.  

anyway, hang in there.  Life works out in ways we don't always understand right away.  good luck hon
Avatar universal
Thanks girls for the emotional support.  Is hard to speak up about something line this because people tend to look down on you.  You know,  the you should be blessed because you can have a baby... look.  And i am. I know I will love him just as much as I do my others.
Avatar universal
Ive been through exactly what u are going through. All I can tell you is that..it is a part of God's perfect plan for you. I had 3 boys in a row and felt depressed  after my second. I really wanted a girl. Just to let you know..it's NO mistake!  GOD is perfect in every way! He created you..so he knows what you need! I'm so grateful now because my boys are so helpful and always watch over me. 11 years later...we are now pregnant with our first baby girl together. I am 34 weeks and ecstatic with God's timing. He knew exactly when I needed her. I'm thankful for not having her years ago because at least now..I am wiser and have more wisdom to share with her. Trust in God's plan for you.
Avatar universal
I have had this bad this preganncy there is a term for it called gender disappointment.
I still have rough days and a hard time accepting it and I am 28 weeks along now. My daughter cried so hard when I told her it was a boy and it made it worst for me. I talked to my midwife about it but feel they just gave me a bandaid solution. I just feel alone most of the time. It literally took me over a month to call him a he instead of it.
I am not sure how to help you feel better as I am going through the same thing. Maybe just knowing you are not the only one will help. There is actual forum website for GD alone and that helps they will never judge you.
I just pray our hearts will heal when the babies are born. If not I am not sure what the next step is :(
12699098 tn?1427516440
I wanted a little girl so badly , I had names picked out and looked online for matching outfits , when they told me I was having a boy I cried so much and now as I'm 4 days away from my due date I can't wait to hold my son and I know that he'll be perfect to me. I hope you guys end up feeling better as well:)
Avatar universal
I can see this being me if I get a girl because I want a boy so badly.  I won't know what I'll have till May. But I keep calling the baby a he and have boys names pick up. I hope I won't get to depressed.
Avatar universal
I have a boy and a girl I really wanted a big this time but am having a girl I'm still super excited but my daughter was way more difficult than my son. She is bossy and gets into everything lol my son was never like that. I think the closer you get to your sue date things will get better and I'm sure when you have your baby in your arms all the doubts will go away. I hope you feel better soon depression stinks
Avatar universal
My sister had three boys before she got a girl.
Avatar universal
I wanted a boy from the beginning. First was a girl, when I was told my second was also a girl I was extremely depressed. I gained 10 pounds my whole pregnancy that's how depressed I was. I was told after she was born I would be fine. Not true.. I was still depressed my husband did everything. I had to take meds and see a therapist. It took a while but I eventually got better. Got pregnant with my 3rd and finally it was a boy. But now I have another girl on the way. Atleast I got one boy I guess.
Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.