I'm so tired of dealing with this. Vent.

[WhovianMomma]

I hate how much I can't handle my husband right now and it's hurting us both... I just had a random thought after he told me he wasn't going to go to my first OB appt, so I asked him. "What if they do an u/s and the baby's just in the right position to tell the gender early and they let it slip and tell me?" He completely flipped on me saying I hurt him because I didn't take his feelings into account and the only way they would tell me is if I asked them to, and got onto me like I had already done this... I tried explaining that it's an unlikely, hypothetical situation but he won't calm down. So of course, I can't either. I mean he didn't take my feelings into account when he took a coworkers shift on the day he knew was my appt, especially it being the first one. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to be a single mother... and it scares me that I think about it.

[WhovianMomma]

And I did not tell my husband this was going to happen, as I don't even know if they're going to do an u/s yet. If I wanted to get a rise out of him, I'd just tell him I didn't wash his laundry. We set my appt together on a day we knew he would have off so we could go together as it's our 1st pregnancy since we had a miscarriage a few years ago. That's why I was upset about him changing his mind. Because we set it up so it would work for him.

[WhovianMomma]

We do want to know, but he wants to find out at the same time. Which is fine, except if it's a girl, I don't want to see disappointment on his face. I was told they're going to do a pap, blood tests, ask questions, and *might* do an u/s. It's a high risk OB so idk if that makes any difference...

[mommaDof3]

First, I completely understand how you feel. I do think that telling him that would happen at the first ultra sound was just to get a reaction,  which you did, and not the one you wanted. It being your first appointment they will do an ultra sound but it's to date the baby and check the heart beat so he will be missing that. Maybe he feels like he needs to work as much as he can now that you are expecting. I would cut him some slack. I think that maybe you might have gone overboard.  I'm not saying that his reaction is any better and that you are wrong to feel that way but you will have many more appointments. Just make sure you tell him how important it will be for you both to be there for the anatomy scan when that comes around. I went to all of my first pregnancy appointments by myself, including the gender scan...it will be the last thing on your mind when you finally have your baby.

[08052015]

I was on the same boat. But seriously  its your emotions. You BOTH  need to understand  you will not understand  each others feelings at this moment. I dont know your  relationship  but i know that being a pregnant  woman isnt easy, and being a man trying to make things work witb his  hormonal  woman isnt easy either we won't  understand  a mans thinking vice versa. I always questioned  would it be easier if i was a single mother. Think about what your saying sweetie. be thankful  you have someone in your life and dont take it for granted!all will work out (:

[marijana19]

Well, they told me the gender at the hospital even though i didnt ask them. But fortunately, i did want to know. Just saying :)

[fefesbabynumtwo]

On your first appt they usually don't do an ultrasound. They usually just confirm your pregnant and talk to you about what to expect at your next appt which they will probably do a pap and an ultrasound. At least That's how it was with me. Don't be too hard on your man. He is working to help provide for you and the baby and you have a long way to go with your pregnancy hormones so try not to push him away. If the only thing your dealing with is him having to work on your first appt, then count yourself lucky and blessed. He still has plenty of appts ahead to go to.

[isabela2]

Right now I am in the same boat and I don't even know what to do anymore :/