Is your husband still unhelpful?

[Purple_hair92]

He works a full time job with overtime. Hes working almost 12+ per day for 4-5 days a week. I used to be a stay at home mom with our now 3 yo. We are expecting again, and Ive started a full time job with 35+ hours a week. Since Im not at home as much, stuff doesnt get done. Even though he said when I get "an actual job" (meaning bringing in money) he'd do more chores around the house. Ive had 3 paychecks that are close to his and he's still acting like i need to maintain the house clean without him lifting a finger. Im exhausted and anytime I tell him to pick up after himself he says Im nagging him. Please Please tell me Im not the only one going through this. -tired expecting mommy.

[katrod1984]

Ughhh an "actual job"??? My husband used to say similar to me - when you go back to work I'll do more. But then I did and because I was only working 4 days it was always "I work more than you" or "I travel 10hrs per week". Even though I had to get myself and our daughter ready, drop her off and pick her up and get myself to work - along with sometimes having to arrange daycare at the drop of a hat if her care fell through. Then cook dinner with a toddler at my feet when I got home (later than him mind you), while he relaxed because it was his "down time"!
It took a long time and MANY arguments before he picked up the slack. He's great in some ways, like we take turns getting up if she wakes through the night, but I still feel as though I'm always cooking, cleaning, picking up here and there with our daughter following me around and he just goes about his own business without having to worry too much about her. Now we have #2 on the way and I have no idea how we'll manage!
But you are definitely not alone. Like the other ladies said maybe drastic action is needed - stop doing his laundry etc. For me, my husband would never have responded to that and it would have made it worse, you just need to find a way that works for you both (easier said than done, I know). It can be so frustrating and I hope you find a way to get him to understand.

[72733k]

This is probably the wrong answer but I went through that what I did was I stopped washing his laundry all together and if I'm remembering correctly when I cooked dinner I cooked only enough for me and my baby BUT it worked he started cooking doing his own laundry and picking up after himself that's the one thing I couldn't walk past though his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor so I would at least move them to the laundry room I was a major clean freak and couldn't stand not one dish in the sink so this was hard

[Nayy_]

It works though... After school and work seven days a week hubby thought I was gonna be super mom and wife . Lol nope . Little by little i stopped doing things in the house and sooner than later everything that I stopped doing for all of us he started doing.  A huge weight has been lifted . Nagging doesn't always work I learned so I just stop doing certain things for the house .

[babyboo2013]

My bf barely works and I can ask him to bathe our daughter and he makes some excuse not to all the time. He's sore, he's tired, he doesn't want to, hockey is on, I'm playing a game. List goes on. I'm expecting number 2 and sadly still at home hopefully for the next few months then move. I gave him the option to step up or get out when we move.

[72733k]

I agree. I got so tired of wasting breath and it did work.

[Nizz_89]

You're not alone at all. At least your husband has the excuse that he's working longer hours...

[Purple_hair92]

Yea, but he gets 2 or 3 days off, and he still lounges. when I get a day off I need to catch up on everything that hasnt been done all week, and its overwheling. Im not asking him to make the house sparkle, but getting noticible trash thrown away, and clothes/ toys put away isnt that difficult. He'll say, dont worry about dishes ill do them later, a few days later is too late and I have to do them cause it starts smelling. When I try to get mad, he gets mad that Im being picky with him.