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11320849 tn?1436403837

Just had baby and husband wants another help!!!

I just had my son 2 weeks ago and my husband keeps making comments about how great it would be to have another one right away... Our other son is 8 and he wants to make sure this one has a sibling close in age he wants it to be like how me and my brothers are i have an older brother whos 7 years older and one who is 13months older but omg i cant imagine getting pregnant so soon i dont know how to feel he wants a little girl to complete our family. I would love to have another but so soon!!! any advice how to talk to him about waiting would be great!! Or advice on how it is having kids so close my mom says it was the best thing she did and she agrees with him lol
19 Responses
Avatar universal
It's so hard that's how my sister in law is and omg she regrets it tell him yuh wann spend time with yur new born and wait til he's old enough to feed himself and walking so yuh won't have to much on yuh..being pregnant alone is a lot but being pregnant and raising a newborn is omg yuh wouldn't wanna take yur anger out on yur newborn wen their crying and yur having mood swings not saying yuh would but something to tell him or wen yur throwing up and have to take care of a baby still right after yuh wanna be able to relax. Hope he under
Avatar universal
Having a child right after giving birth can cause a lot of birth defects on the baby you have to let your body heal it takes at least 18 months before your body is back to normal. Good luck hope that helps!!!
Avatar universal
Having one right away  is a lot ,I'm going through it right now and it's tough.I did an IUD and found out I was 4 months pregnant  and I feel my energy is out .My baby girl is 11 months old.I took some college courses and I don't even feel my brain isnt functioning .I have a lot of support  that watches my baby girl.Hope this helps !
Avatar universal
I had my son in Feb 2014 and I'm due on Halloween this year(they will be 20 months apart). It isn't hard being pregnant but I'm sure it will be a little struggle keeping our routine when the baby gets here. I wanted kids 2 years apart though. I would say talk it out, it is rough on your body to get pregnant again right away.
Avatar universal
Call me crazy but I'm pregnant right now and my son juss turned 8months on the 26th plus I have 3 other boys. So my husband is really praying for this one to be a girl, me also cuz whether this one turns out to be a girl or another boy I'm getting my tubes tied. Any who I'm rambling, so having a 8yr old,6yr old,4yr old & 8 month old and expecting again is really hard. Like frustrating!!!
Avatar universal
Congrats on your new baby Kelley. I think that ultimately the decision to carry another pregnancy so soon lies with u. I suggest u have a talk with your hubby, maybe even schedule an appointment with your doctor so both of u can be there to listen to what the doc has to say. For me I wouldn't advise it though. You need time to heal properly. Best of luck.
11320849 tn?1436403837
Thanks everyone i am definatly trying to wait hopefully he can understand what my concerns are... taking him to the dr with me is a great idea!!!
Avatar universal
Just tell him like the other poster said, having a second child is not really recomended for your body and can lead to complications including preterm birth and defects.
Many people do it with no ill effects and it works out great for them, but why risk it when one of you already has other concerns.
Avatar universal
Congratulations on your baby. My husband is the exact same way. We had ours 5 weeks ago and he wants me pregnant again immediately. I just told him that it takes a while for the body to heal and also I would like to spend time with this lo before we have another. I also explained that I can't imagine having 2 kids under a year at the same time. The crying (probably me), diapers and exhaustion would be a lot to handle right away.
Avatar universal
I work full time I'm requiring at least a yr to rest. I been really tired this pregnancy and don't want to risk no energy, breastfeeding and pregnant by getting pregnant too soon. we will revisit the topic next year after a yr of breastfeeding. I'd said something like that. don't be too negative but middle in the middle
Avatar universal
My two oldest are 29 months apart. My brother and I are 14 months apart.
11446880 tn?1442931320
My sister in law got pregnant again when her baby was 6 months old, and that worked so perfect for her now the second child is 7 months and plans on getting pregnant right away again, i plan on doing the same thing. I think 6-7 months is a good time frame if you are going to the the back to back route!
13015626 tn?1430508991
I feel u my fiancé wants one after the other and he wants 7 kids!!!! I got him to change his mind as soon as mentioned the fact that our wedding will be next year and we won't have the money for another child. I also reminded him of the costs of child care, diapers for two, food for four, living space for four, and the time we will be taking away from one child because we have another child who is a new born. We also talked about how important it is for each of them to feel individually loved by us. After alot of talk we agreed that once one turns a year old we can start trying for the next and I told him by the time we start trying for the third I need a house otherwise we are waiting. He agreed. I think what helped was that when I talked about having kids I made it more about the kids than the responsibility and than about what we want to give our family and he totally agreed. I can't make him change his mind about the 7 kids though!!!! Good luck!!!
Avatar universal
I told my BF that if he was volunteering to carry the 2nd one then we could try as soon as he liked. That shut down that discussion, lol. I want another, but I told him that I wouldn't do it again until after 1) I graduated from college, 2) We tied the knot, and 3) This baby was less dependent on me lol We're thinking a 3 year gap is plenty of time between them.
11320849 tn?1436403837
Thanks everyone for you comments and advice i dont think men realize how difficult it is to be pregnant and to have a new born to care for... He thinks that it is good to have the kids around the same age so they are close. He says we are financially ready we have our house and my father in law recently moved in so we wont have to pay for childcare so i cant use those as excuses lol i have my dr appointment in 2 weeks so im hoping that they have good advice for us as well since everytime i talk to him he gets me thinking its a good idea... thank god i cant have sex yet or id probably already be pregnant lol
Avatar universal
Mom to 4 with a 5th die in the next 5 weeks. They're 9,6,5 and almost 2.5. My 6 and 5yo are 11 months apart, not planned! Oldest 2 are girls, younger 2 are boys. Oldest is the most helpful and really was awesome with her little sister and brother at 3 then 4yo. Only had issues with the small gap for a few months, but they are thick as thieves and get along the best of all the kids...they act almost like twins!
Each kid is decent thou, take maturity into account! Also,consider if your body bounces back quick and easily.... I never needed anything stronger than tylenol after birth and my uterus bounces back super quick, so take those items into consideration as well! Yes, take hunt to the Dr with you but keep those other factors above in mind as well. If your 8yo isn't very helpful... You're gonna have one hell of a time....  Good luck!
Avatar universal
Darn auto correct.... 5th due in about  5 weeks.... And yes, take hubby with you to the Dr for part of the conversation about everything.
Avatar universal
Just like everyone said, talk it out and wait. At least a year. I'm due in March next year, my 2nd just turned 1. I would have liked for them to be 2 yrs apart, but I figure a year should be fine. As long I as I keep my youngest on a trained schedule nd teach him more independent things, when baby comes....it would be ok. :-)
Avatar universal
I'd give him some time. He may just be in the honey moon in love stage with just having the baby. Also, talk with your ob. I know this soon would definitely not be advised but when my son was 6 months I went to my ob explaining that my husband and I really wanted another and my ob was 100% on board with it, told me it was a great idea. Really depends on the doctor I think. It isn't hard being pregnant and running after a 1 year old but I'm sure it'll get a little tough once this baby is born. Hope all works out for you!!
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