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7945295 tn?1397662420

Not being allowed to serve at church

I'm not really sure how to feel about this. Part of me feels like i deserve it and the other part feels like its not right. My worship pastor told me i can't sing at the new multisite or any ensembles till after i have the baby cause they don't want to send the wrong message. I can't be a greater either. I don't see how hiding me till after the baby is going to change anything people will still see the baby. If anything now i just feel more ashamed disappointed and embarrassed at church. I'm 30wks and they are just now telling me all this. I love my church but i think it might be time to find another one :(
38 Responses
Avatar universal
I think when a church turns their back on you like that is shameful! Im sorry! They should embrace the beautiful thing your body is doing even if they dont agree.  God loves all and would never turn his back...and im not that religious but that is what I believe and want my baby to believe.
Avatar universal
I can't really have an opinion. It depends on your story and your church doctrine. We should obey our pastors. At many times I haven't agreed with my pastor either. It took me along time to forgive him, but I did and things are better now.
10084709 tn?1407715989
I don't know what denomination you are but churches are supposed to follow & uphold the standards of Jesus & the word of God not our emotions. It may be hurtful mommy but if it's because you're having a baby out of wedlock it is inappropriate for you to serve on an auxiliary because it does send the wrong message. We often want to change churches because we're offended but personally if my church agreed with everything I did then I'd know it was the wrong church because I go for change & growth not to be upheld in wrongdoing.
Avatar universal
I don't see what's wrong with you singing! They know who you are before and after your pregnancy! I think it's wrong, and you should tell your pastor how you feel in a respectful manner. Or at least ask him why! :/
Avatar universal
This is why I dont go to churches. I do not agree in shaming people...especially good people. I do not like judgement. But that is what churches do so you do have to follow their beliefs and wants whether it hurts you or not.  
Avatar universal
I have been studying the bible and going to the kingdom hall with Jehovah Witnesses and recently got pregnant, and not married and already have a 3yr old. They are so excepting of me and everything I've been Thur and try to help guide me on the right path. My mom who is Catholic is against it and says they aren't supposed to study with me or let me attend meetings because of being pregnant out of marriage. But anyone of any religion knows nobody is supposed to judge. Maybe you should find another church.
Avatar universal
Weather ur married or not the baby ur bout to have is a child of god if he is ashamed of u this must mean he is ashamed of what god creates I am catholic and although it is a sin to have sex b4 marriage our father still prays and is there for those girl I do not agree w thos
10084709 tn?1407715989
Respectfully speaking I don't think the church is trying to shame her or pass judgement but church is not supposed to agree with opinions/our personal choices. The Bible is clear on the subject so if there's an issue it has to be taken up with God. We can't just pick & choose what has to be abided by in the Word because we personally don't agree with it. And I'm far from perfect so I'm definitely not judging but I believe that Jesus set the example that He wants us to follow & our Pastors/churches assist us to getting to that standard.
Avatar universal
I think it depends on the situation no sin is allowed in the pulpit so if your heart hasn't been given to the lord then i would agree with the pastor but it has to do with being saved not pregnant. I don't know your situation and the church policies because some churches are in a organization and there are rules like you cant hold any position if you use tobacco products some might feel its crazy but that's the rules. I would think if i would want to go to a church that is like this or not at my church its a private organization so our pastor makes all decisions but his number one focus is being saved first and having sex before marriage is wrong but what was done after that is a different story
Avatar universal
Why are they acting up like you are disgrace?
This is another reason I stopped going. I am happier not going to church
7945295 tn?1397662420
I go to a Baptist church. I wasn't raised in church and have only been going here a year and a half So i guess that adds to my not understanding. Idon't understand how it'll be ok after i have the baby other than its not as obvious but than isn't that just being fake?  Isn't that just lying to the people and sining more?
Avatar universal
Kristen, with all respect, what do you feel deep down in your heart is the right thing to do next.
We can tell you many things, but at the end of the day you want to do your Heavenly Fathers will, because you love Him.
9865301 tn?1410325472
Are you married? When I was pregnant with my first child the church acted like they didn't want me to come back because I had a child out of wedlock
9414151 tn?1406842868
That's not right just bcuz ur pregnant. If they're treating u like this then is time to go to a different church.
Avatar universal
Im pentecostal, i know alot of baptists are old school my guess would be that you got pregnant while a member there out of wedlock it does make the church look kinda bad but as i said in my comment before its about the heart and if your saved and your relationship with God this is why so many churches have problems today because they judge to much. as far as waiting until after you have the baby your right it wont be as noticeable but you still will have that child in honesty i think they probably feel if they say wait until the baby is born you will just forget about it and not mention it again. Its wrong how some treat their members but some are just not excepting of change or mistakes. i personally would pray and ask God for guidance on what to do  
9971658 tn?1407747583
This makes being an Atheist very simple & easy to me..
but each to their own.
I hope they come around and RESPECT and LOVE you for WHO YOU ARE.
I am disgusted people treat eachother like this.
Avatar universal
I agree with you Dandi_2014
Avatar universal
Have you tried a non denominational church? I.was also raised Baptist, but found a great, loving church family at a non denominational church when I was pregnant with my first. Don't give up on your faith bc of a few bad apples.
Avatar universal
I agree with the church. If they put you on display they are sending a message to single women that it's ok to have sex and babies and not get married.
Avatar universal
I agree stuff happens and not everyone is perfect but they have to show that it is not ok.
Avatar universal
Aaannnnnddddddd that's why I dont go to church! They hide people for who they truely are when that person has nothing to be shameful of. **** them.
Avatar universal
Word!!! :-)
Avatar universal
Oh honey, I know you came here for advice and I can only imagine how you're feeling seeing so many judging. No church should turn away a serving heart. Take a deep breath and pray. Though it hurts maybe this is a nudge that you're in the wrong church to be raising your baby. There is no "one way" to serve and worship. If you were not supposed to be having this baby, you wouldn't. I'll be praying for you and the hearts of those involved.
Avatar universal
I am Christian and attend church. My church has been loving and accepting to people who are not married or people who have cheated,etc. They dont try to bash people or judge or claim to be more perfect then anyone else. They welcome all to our church and try to help in any way they can. Dont be discouraged sweetie, not all churches are the right church for you. But this could be satans way of trying to stop you from goin down the right patj and stop you from church. If you feel like its not the church for you try a different one until you find one that welcomes and loves you. Dont quit going altogether. The Bible also says a child is a gift from God and it doesnt say only children to wedded mothers so i believe it applies to all children to wedded and unwedded mothers.
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