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Avatar universal

Not breastfeeding

I am choosing not to breastfeed and getting grief from non family members.  My family did not breastfeed So that's what I'm used to.  What do you say to like who are very opinionated about breastfeeding?

"Why can't you at least try it?"  "it's better for the baby" or they just assume you are and I am embarassed to tell them I'm not....
16 Responses
Avatar universal
My first I was going to breastfeed 100%. My milk never came in until 3 weeks after I had my daughter. So I just went with bottle feeding. With this one I decided to just bottle feed because I don't want to end up last time if my milk doesn't come in. The hospital gave me a lot of grief when I asked for a bottle when my milk wasn't in after birth. To avoid all of that I just told my doctor up front I was bottle feeding.
Avatar universal
The most straightforward way would be to just say "I choose to bottle feed" but you'll still get unwanted comments. I tried to breasfeed both my daughters but was not successful either time. I dont know why but strangets felt it was their business to ask if i breastfeed. When I would answer no, they'd give me a look like I had to explain why. I finally got to the point to if I was given the "breast is best" lecture, I would change the subject or just say something like oh thats nice to hear. For some women breastfeeding is hard & it was stressful for me. Just don't let anyone makes you feel guilty for bottle feeding. Your baby's getting nourishment & you still get to bond with them so that's all that matters.
14346590 tn?1451854557
I hate that people are so judgemental the other night I was talking to my grandmother about breast feeding and she told me she didn't know anything about it because in her day Breast feeding was considered nasty or unclean except now days its just the opposite if you don't want to do it people get so upset I'm a frm and I plan to breast if I can but I certainly would never judge another mother for not doing it! As long as that baby is being feed properly then I'm happy. If I was you I would just tell people this is MY choice for MY child!! I'm sorry your getting so much grief about it and I wish you the best! And sorry for my long post lol
Avatar universal
that breastfeeding can give your baby a healthy start. But that’s not the only health benefit. It also can lower your breast cancer risk.

“Research shows mothers who breastfeed lower their risk of pre- and post-menopausal breast cancer. And, breastfeeding longer than the recommended six months can provide additional protection,” says Rachel King, a health education specialist in MD Anderson’s Lyda Hill Cancer Prevention Center.  
Avatar universal
Not every mom is able to breastfeed. For me, not enough milk was coming out & my daughter ended up in the NICU because her blood sugar levels had stopped critically low. I had it in my head that i was gonna breastfeed & nothing else. Because i was being stubborn & listening to the statistics like the ones in the last posting, my baby had to have a feeding tube stuck down her nose when she was less than a day old. We have it hard enough trying to adjust to a little baby, we dont need to be lectured or made to feel guilty for bottlefeeding our baby to give them the nourishment they need.
Avatar universal
*dropped*
13167 tn?1327194124
Well,  the joy of becoming a new parent is you can choose to do differently than what was done in your family.  You can choose different discipline techniques,  different family traditions,  and you can choose to breastfeed even though you weren't given that benefit as a baby.

The truth is,  it's cheaper,  it's healthier,  and it's easier than bottle feeding.  What's not to like?
13167 tn?1327194124
And I certainly agree that sometimes breastfeeding doesn't work.  
Avatar universal
I'd also question a family member who wasn't choosing to give breastfeeding a try (not strangers though, just close people - what if they've just never considered it? Who else is going to educate them?). There are SO many benefits to it. However, there are so many reasons why someone might not want to (plus benefits of bottle feeding to consider) and if the person was still firm on that I wouldn't push it. It's not a life or death issue (although due to immunity being affected I suppose it technically could be, but very unlikely). I know plenty of bottle fed kids who are happy, healthy and secure.

So I don't think there's anything wrong with people close to you asking why if they genuinely want what's best for you and your child, but if you're pretty set in your mind, then just explain your reasons and politely ask them to stop if they keep on going on about it.
Avatar universal
If you're embarrassed you must feel guilty. Maybe make an educated decision after researching bottle & breastfeeding advantages/disadvantages. You're answer of "no one else in my family doing it" has nothing to do with YOUR decision. I don't care what others do, but if you don't know the benefits of either than I can see why you're being asked these questions.I hope you have researched and decided bottle feeding was the best choice for you and your baby. Best of luck
14346590 tn?1451854557
I plan to breast feed and Yes breast feeding is best because for one thing it has antibiotics that your baby doesn't get from formula blah blah blah blah its your child do what you feel is best for you and your baby the people who judge you or throw statistics in your face on here will have no involvement with you or your child when they get here . They won't be there if you have to struggle with it they also won't be there if you choose to do it and your successful. You do what YOU feel is right for you and that precious little baby of yours
12618401 tn?1434562421
No need to be embarrassed! This is just 1 of many things ppl are going to have opinions on...welcome to motherhood lol I am 100 percent for nursing and strongly believe "Breast is Best" because it truly is(that's fact not opinion)...It has A LOT more in it than formula  (not jus antibodies). But this is your baby so it is your decision to be made and you have to do wat works for you!!! No one in my family nursed as well (my mother did but she passed away so there was no support in that area) and no one around me really nursed either, but I wanted to do wat was best for my son so not breastfeeding wasn't an option for me. We had a long and hard journey because my son had a serve tongue tie that cause so many "experiences" lol but I'm so glad I did watever it took (frm finger feeding him wit a sns tube, to teachinh him how to suck/use his tongue again, to pumping etc) and stuck it out. After a month or so I began exclusively pumping till my son was 12 months and I got so much unwanted criticism frm everyone around me, but that's wat worked for me and you have to do wat works for you! I agree wit one of the earlier post about being able to do wat you want wit your little one and that you can breastfeed even if it's not wat you're use to or wat family members did/do. Education yourself if you haven't already because a lot of ppl speak on wat they do not knw and if you still feel like doing formula tell ppl and if they continue to question you tell them it is your choice and leave it at that! Be encouraged mama I wish I wldnt have worried/let ppls opinions affect me so much! Enjoy your pregnancy and your little one:)
Avatar universal
Congrats on the baby!
And welcome to the world of mother bashing/wars! If bottle feeding is truly what you feel is best for you and your child then go for it. But like an above poster said make sure you do your research.
My little guy is almost three weeks old now. And has not had a drop of formula and will stay that way. But guess what it works for us! We are doing great and we are so bonded and secure with it. Justwait and see what is best for you.
Good luck
Avatar universal
Its your body and your baby. You vam choose what you want to do with YOUR child. Dont listen to what anyone else has to say. I'm a first time mom and both my husband and I are in the army. I dont have time to be keeping up with all that pumping stuff just to breastfeed my baby. Im going to bottle feed my child. I was bottle feed and so was everyone else in my family, there is nothing wrong with bottle feeding your child. If someone wants to try and tell you otherwise just politely let them know that it is your child and your body. You've already made up your mind on what you want to do.
Avatar universal
Tell people to mind their own f***ing business. As long as your baby is being fed that's all that matters. Unfortunately you're gonna get the "breast is best" speech shoved down your throat many times, but you know what? Breastfeeding isn't for everyone. It doesn't make you a bad mom and it does NOT mean you're lazy. Don't let anyone make you feel like less of a mom because you choose to bottle feed. You do whatever works best for YOU not what works for everyone else. Good luck!
Avatar universal
I'm so tired of people judging others that don't breastfeed. Honestly I think it's the weirdest thing in the world I don't care how natural or whatever it is. Just tell them it'd your baby your going to do what you want. My mom had six of us and none of us were breastfeed and we are all completely fine!!
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