Not pregnancy related husband's family....

[joamb]

So I used to be a very giving, outgoing person and unfortunately some people take advantage of me and treat me poorly and now I'm very reserved and don't really like to talk much.

Sometimes around people I feel very uncomfortable around I get a lot of anxiety and can hardly say anything. I understand to people I probably seem like totally retarded or rude. For along time I would not go to my husband's parents place, I would feel uncomfortable because they have been rude and unaccepting towards me. Before my husband and I got married they told me I would never ever fit in or be part of their family and I've taken it to heart and tried to stay out of their lives. My husband is always doing favors for them and goes to work on their farm almost every weekend so in order for me to spend more time with my husband he said he would really appreciate if I came with him.

So lately I've been going there with him but it's very awakrd, I'm huge and pregnant and I know no one there likes me and his family makes me feel very uncomfortable. I also have nothing to do there while he's working so I'm bored, and he won't let me sit in the car while he's working outside so I'm forced inside with his mom very awkwardly. I never know what to say and when someone speaks to me I'm so caught off guard that I don't have words to speak.

So my husband and I argue obviously because I feel uncomfortable which will probably never go away and he wants things to get better with the family and for them to know our child etc. I would love for them to be part of our lives and get to know our child also but because of the things they have said in the past it would be very difficult to ever feel included in their family.....

I feel like it's my fault sometimes for not being able to be happy and bubbly around them like I was when I first met my husband I just can't get over their mean words.

Any advice would really be appreciated,  I also understand that it's more my problem than my husbands

[Deniseholman]

I have the same issue and I just choose not too deal with them at all. I talk too a certain few but other than them I'm coo I don't have time for the drama and stress

[lkaykirk]

He needs to talk to his family about what was said to you. My hubby would have flipped out on his family if that was said to me.

[Reesee719]

I agree, Ashrefa. If you don't communicate in some way with his family, it will not get better. Do it before the baby comes so that everyone can be apart of the baby's life. For your sake, you have to say something so that people won't think you're a pushover. And you'll feel better about yourself. When they see you make an effort, they'll come around.

[ashrefra]

Or maybe you tell them how you feel? I always found that if I have a hard time finding the words I write it all down. If you want to have a future you have to clear up/let go of the past. You need to have a voice and it needs to be heard.

[Reesee719]

Ask your husband to talk to his family about your anxiety or how uncomfortable you are around his family because of how his family has treated you. Maybe If they're aware of how you feel, they'll be a little nicer. It may help release some of the tension on both sides.

[traciv]

Tell your husband he needs to talk to his family about what was said in the past.  Have him explain your feelings and ask for an apology.