Neutral ground is always better especially if people may feel uncomfortable just explain that you feel torn by both families wanting to have it in their home and would feel more comfortable if everyone could meet in a neutral place, or if your house is big enough you could suggest using that, who is hosting it? I would think whoever is planning/ hosting it should have a little more say, but it should always come down to what the one being showered in the first place.
Ask your mom what she thinks?
That is exactly why I rented a place, I found one that wasmt expensive but if I wouldn't have had the money I would definitely just have told them to meet and talk stuff out ao they both know whats going down, my mil and mom met to talk about the babyshower and they both are gonna be just as involved
Do what makes you comfortable. But I wouldn't stress about what others feel. It's what you feel.