Aa
Please read...
I dont want to annoy or bother anyone but if you have the time, please read and help me out my commenting.. Im a married woman, i get mad really easily. I keep thinking about my husband and his ex and last night i had a dream about them doing it. Now i totally trust my husband and his ex doesnt even live in the state but his family do talk with her. She tried to get in between us so many times. It just bothers me that his family talks with her! My real issue here is, im trying so hard to be a good wife, i KNOW im a good wife. I cook, clean and am here for my husband 24/7. I even work and give him my paychecks. I do way too much! And whenever i have a problem he never seems to listen, its like hes annoyed by me. Who do i go to for help than? And thats why i keep bringing his ex up. I feel like he treated her better than he has ever treated me. He had kids with her, he did all kinds of things and it really upsets me. I accepted him for who he was plus more and here i am being the best wife ever yet i still feel like ****. He would rather spend time with my brothers than me, literally he would rather spend time with anyone but me. He laughs at everything i say, he makes fun of me, he gives my money to his mom, he keeps bossing me around and ****. His mother always talks **** about me for no reason and ive been so nice i swear. Like what am i supposed to do? Im tired of the fighting and i always get blamed even if i have done nothing wrong. My family and his family blame me. I dont know what to do anymore. Is this happening bcuz im too nice? Or what? If i dont get up cuz im sick im considered a bad wife, if i state my opinion, im wrong, if i let my feelings out, in annoying. I just feel like i hate everyone. I miss the old him. Now i feel like im being used. And plus i might be pregnant. I feel like my life ***** and i hate it. For those of you who read all this i just want to thank you. Im not trying to annoy anyone but im really stressed.
Thank you ladies foe your comments. I do feel much better but the thing is, they both dont have custody of the kids. His ex just keeps talking to his family to win him back. Thats all. Some starangers adopted their kids and yet she still seems to have a way to talk to them. Amd they see nothing wrong with thag
Stop giving him your money.
Make him do his own damn laundry.
Use your money to do nice things for yourself and tell him to shove it.
Make him do his own damn laundry.
Use your money to do nice things for yourself and tell him to shove it.
I totally agree with others STOP GIVEN him your money... he will feel you are buying his love. Love yourself look good and ignore his family.if he wouldn't listen to you ignore him for sometime act busy and pay no attention to him and his ex or family. Self-love is what money can't buy
Stop being so nice maybe try marriage counseling.
Maybe ask your brother to bring up marriage counseling to him? So he'll think it's his idea and show that he wants to work on your relationship without you telling him it needs work. Because he sounds like one of those guys that just HAS to be right all the time. And maybe you could try talking to his ex? Since they have children together she sadly has to be in the picture, but you're the step mom now, so you two should have some relationship as well! As for your paycheck, KEEP IT! If he's giving your hard earned money to his mother (unless for a very good reason) that's disrespectful to you, he can give her his money and you can use yours how you want, maybe save for your baby if you are pregnant! Good luck with everything, I know it's hard to accept that a woman from his past is still around but hey, you won :) they distance work and I hope you two will, he just needs to open up and you need to take charge!
I think there must be more to the story here.
It sounds like your husband is a jerk, and if you aren't pregnant, maybe this is time to cut ties.
But if BOTH your family, AND his family blame you for things, it's not because you are "too nice".
It sounds like your husband is a jerk, and if you aren't pregnant, maybe this is time to cut ties.
But if BOTH your family, AND his family blame you for things, it's not because you are "too nice".
Im in a similar situation and like you used to get upset. My bf family loves his ex and her kid more than Me and mine and they even used to call me by her name. What I have learned is that the nicer you are the worst they will treat you. Try to distance yourself from them. Dont bring up his ex because everytime you do you give her importance. Give yourself importance by putting your foot down in a subtle way. Starting by not giving him your checks, dont be the perfect wife. Make him starve once in a while he will survive trust me. That way he will learn the hard way. You need to love yourself first and the baby if you're pregnant. Sometimes being perfect gives men the authority to abuse power. If he gets annoyed when you say something, ignore him. Dont speak with him even if it hurts you deep down. Trust me that works. He will be like a crawling puppy. If that doesn't work than part ways. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Find new friends, find a new support team, keep your mind occupied with productive thoughts. Watch how your life will change and people will begin to respect your opinion. I did that with my bf and his family and now they are the ones on my ***. When his ex comes she used to stay at his mother's house. Not anymore because I've earned their respect. Hang in there it will not be easy but it will be worth it.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way :/ but the advice the women have given you above is great advice and I believe you should really consider it and take action. Don't give him your checks anymore, use some of it to treat yourself because you need to make yourself feel better, sometimes we can't depend on other people to do so. As for the family if they have kids together then yes it's understandable that they keep contact with her and you cannot let that get to you. As for thinking about his ex all the time that has to stop because it'll never make anything better and eventually he'll explode and it will become a bigger issue in your marriage. Just use your money to get your nails done or hair a new makeover some nice outfits anything even a pet. Pets can be so loving I have a kitty who makes me feel better on my worst days and I have never liked cats. Ever. Also make sure you take a pregnancy test as soon as you can! good luck to you, if you need anything please message me.
I agree with the above poster, but in a way I kind of get where you're coming from but... STOP. My BF has an ex that has tried numerous times to come between us, but you need to remember that your hubby is with YOU now, not her. They could've had the greatest relationship ever, but clearly something did not work out and it's none of your business now. Plus they have children together - maybe they choose to stay civil for their children's sake. As a child from a divorced family, it's a better environment all around whenever both parents can be amiable and friendly toward one another. So I understand that you're frustrated, but try to keep that in mind also.
*to
Wow, I would never give my paycheck. U went too far N nice with that. He should be giving u his check.
I will say a prayer for you hun only God will be able to change your husband you need to cry out to God and ask God yo help restore your marriage no marriage or relationship will not work if God is not first in your lives! God bless you!
Talk to him, if you dont feel like he is listening oe cares then do whats best for you. Stop giving him money and see how he treats you. And if you are pregnant make the right choice for you and your child.
I will say a prayer for you hun only God will be able to change your husband you need to cry out to God and ask God yo help restore your marriage no marriage or relationship will not work if God is not first in your lives! God bless you!
oh, btw, if the changes that you make don't cause him to change his attitude towards you then you've done all you can do...remember, you can only change you, not others, some of the responsibility lies with them.
Disrespected*
You can't change other people but you can change yourself..so I'd say stop giving him your paychecks; you're an adult and you can manage your money and he doesn't need it...balance it for your family's needs. Stop talking about his ex; nothing is more unattractive than low self esteem to a romantic partner, he is married to you now, not her. Do some things for yourself to boost your mood and confidence like walking or salon or buy something for yourself... Get a pregnancy test done asap, you are stressed and that's not good for pregnant women or baby.
I am guessing you have tried to speak to him about how you feel. What about your families? It is strange that you do not have any suppprtive family or friends. The fact that his family communicates with his ex is something you will have to live with. Other than that you dont have to accept being ill-treated. His behaviour borders onto being abusive and just plain disrespectful. If you really cant get him to sit up and listen, then consider getting professional help. They should be able to guide you and show you The way forward. Dont accept being disrespectful by anyone. Even and especially The person you consider your life companion. Good luck. Dont lose yourself for anyone. Hugs.
Sadly we give them the choice to chose were they want to place us in their lives. You give him the money you earn, all the money YOU earn. It'd be different splitting it in half and sharing it that way. Also you're in the wrong for bringing up his ex, you married him and you knew he came with a past and you still accepted him. How he treated her and how he treats you should not be compared nor be the same. You don't know the downs they had and remember they seperated, and he's now with you. Obviously it had to be bad right?
Plus you said they have kids, how can his family not talk to her? The problems were not with his family but with him.
You're letting the pregnancy hormones get the best of you.
Plus you said they have kids, how can his family not talk to her? The problems were not with his family but with him.
You're letting the pregnancy hormones get the best of you.
Have you tried talking to him? It does sound like your a little to nice.
You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy: Social Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
