Aa
Sister in Law trying to get pregnant.
Hi, my fiances sister is only 15. I'm due in 50 days and she's been caught up in "baby fever" she's always wanting to come shopping with me and wants to do everything for baby once he's here.
Recently she's gotten a new boyfriend, he seems nice. Last night at dinner she revealed that she's not taking her birth control and she wants a baby of her own. She won't listen to her mum and she just calls me a hypocrite if I say anything. I'm 18 though. And engaged. I didn't even have sex for the first time until I was 17 (and fell pregnant-yay me!) When I was 15 sex was the last thing on my mind..
How do I help her see she's not ready for motherhood? I grew up practically raising my siblings and I know I'm ready now for my son. But I definitely wasn't when I found out I was pregnant.
Recently she's gotten a new boyfriend, he seems nice. Last night at dinner she revealed that she's not taking her birth control and she wants a baby of her own. She won't listen to her mum and she just calls me a hypocrite if I say anything. I'm 18 though. And engaged. I didn't even have sex for the first time until I was 17 (and fell pregnant-yay me!) When I was 15 sex was the last thing on my mind..
How do I help her see she's not ready for motherhood? I grew up practically raising my siblings and I know I'm ready now for my son. But I definitely wasn't when I found out I was pregnant.
I never let her come with me! But her mum loves to shop and they're always looking at/buying baby stuff.
Mum and dad didn't think she'd actually fall pregnant - if she was my daughter I would of made her go to the doctors and get some form of permanent/lasting birth control ie the rod. Instead of the pill which is what she was on and refused to take.
I agree that it's ridiculous for her parents to allow it to happen. I fought very hard against it.
My fiancé and I were dating at their age and I wasn't allowed to stay here let alone sleep in the same bed with the door closed! Whenever I was at his house we weren't allowed in his bedroom - rightly so.
We had slept in the same bed quite a bit before we ended up having sex but we never did anything until we were 17 both just three months until we were 18. I was on birth control and fell pregnant the very first time we had sex.
Mum and dad didn't think she'd actually fall pregnant - if she was my daughter I would of made her go to the doctors and get some form of permanent/lasting birth control ie the rod. Instead of the pill which is what she was on and refused to take.
I agree that it's ridiculous for her parents to allow it to happen. I fought very hard against it.
My fiancé and I were dating at their age and I wasn't allowed to stay here let alone sleep in the same bed with the door closed! Whenever I was at his house we weren't allowed in his bedroom - rightly so.
We had slept in the same bed quite a bit before we ended up having sex but we never did anything until we were 17 both just three months until we were 18. I was on birth control and fell pregnant the very first time we had sex.
I know its mean to saybut i would try and scare her out of it. Instead of taking her shopping.. show her that pregnancy is "miserable". Tell her stories of girls on here that just feel sick all the time and how common that is. And then maybe she wont want to go through it. After you have to baby. Exaggerate how bad labor was even if it wasnt that bad. Not all young koms are bad moms but when it comes to having a NEW boyfriend and being only 15 she should not be trying. 15 and 18 is completely different. She would be 18 with a 3 year old. Youll be 21..
Good luck:/
Good luck:/
I agree completely with @bree750
Ok sorry but this post is rediculous. This is a little girl were talking about and if my daughter announced that at the dinner table, you better believe id kick his *** to the curb and lock her in her room. She is a minor still and should be treated like so. Wheres mom at ??? Just sitting back. ******* sad .
How awful. At 15 our bodies aren't physically 100% developed. Its definitely going to be harder for her. I would never wish anything but upon someone. If she wants to have a baby let her. (Nothing against your post) She will learn the hard way of life. Trying to balance everything out. It sounds like her little boyfriend needs some sense knocked into him.
What's done is done, we tried to prevent it but it's too late now. She's just going to have to grow up very fast and be a mum at 16. I just don't know how she'll cope giving up her glamorous lifestyle. Her boyfriends parents are rich so she's spoilt by him and constantly showered in presents. She can't go a week without shopping and has to look immaculate every second of the day. She'll lose her school scholarship, netball is out of the question and who knows what she'll end up doing...
That's rough. I was fifteen when I had my first baby, but mine wasn't by choice...I was raped and couldn't give him up. Babies are hard work and my life has been a struggle. It wasn't happy rainbows and sunshine. It boggles my mind why someone would choose it.
We tried talking to them when they originally said they wanted a baby, his attitude towards it was they have 9 months before he'll have to get a job. They're both really in to sport, he has a chance at going pro for football if he stays in school but how is he suppose to do that now?
Her dad wants her to have an abortion (he wanted me to do the same thing) and honestly I think I agree with him. But that's not my choice to make.
Her nickname is princess - rightfully so. If she doesn't get what she wants she'll throw hissy fits and tantrums until her parents eventually give in and give her what she wants.
Her dad wants her to have an abortion (he wanted me to do the same thing) and honestly I think I agree with him. But that's not my choice to make.
Her nickname is princess - rightfully so. If she doesn't get what she wants she'll throw hissy fits and tantrums until her parents eventually give in and give her what she wants.
Why not try to talk some sense into the boyfriend? Tell him that couples should be married first when planning a pregnancy in the best case scenario. Also remind him thru haven't been together long and how it will impact the baby or their lives if the relationship doesn't last through the stress having a baby puts on a relationship. Babies are expensive! Neither of them work.
They have babies that are life like that cry, need changing, and care that could teach her a lesson. In high school I took a parenting class because I had no more electives to take and let me tell you taking care of that life like baby all weekend was a handful! Look into planned parent hood they may have classes for young ladies like her. Also, community programs.
She needs to know right now that she won't be living with you then. It sounds like she looks up to you and wants your life. She needs to learn now that especially since she's having a baby, that she needs to make her own life, and not depend on anyone else. Family will be around to help, but it's not your job to support her anyway but emotionally.
Oh I feel for you! I have struggled with hypermesis gravidarum, preeclampsia and sciatica pain from an existing back injury also!
I just don't understand why she'd choose this right now, she's watched me suffer and not be able to get out of bed some days, sat by my side while I've been in hospital and my partner/her brother has had to stay at work. I've lost 90% of my friends, that alone has been hard. She's at such a crucial time in her life where she has a scholarship at a great school and was in the running for a professional netball contract - her life dream!
I know I'm not that much older than her but I have a lot more life experience and the whole thing makes me feel terrible for her. :(
She's asked for our support but I don't know how to give it to her.. she's assuming she can move in with us once our house is built but that's meant to be our home, just me my fiancé and our son.
I just don't understand why she'd choose this right now, she's watched me suffer and not be able to get out of bed some days, sat by my side while I've been in hospital and my partner/her brother has had to stay at work. I've lost 90% of my friends, that alone has been hard. She's at such a crucial time in her life where she has a scholarship at a great school and was in the running for a professional netball contract - her life dream!
I know I'm not that much older than her but I have a lot more life experience and the whole thing makes me feel terrible for her. :(
She's asked for our support but I don't know how to give it to her.. she's assuming she can move in with us once our house is built but that's meant to be our home, just me my fiancé and our son.
As horrible as it sounds, I guess the only thing you can do is hope that she has a rough pregnancy. I am 28 and 33 weeks pregnant with mine and my husbands first. I have struggled with hyperemesis gravidarum, horrible sciatic pain, I can barely eat a normal sized meal without feeling full to the point of being ill, and constant fatigue. I could never imagine having to go through this all at such a young age as 15/16. She is in for quite a rude awakening.
Well, she did it. She told everyone tonight that she's pregnant. :( tomorrow is her 16th birthday. I don't know how to feel but I feel like it's my fault..
It worked with my aunty. She was 15 when I was born and ended up swearing up and down that she never wanted kids and ended up having her first when she was 28. It is sad though seeing how fast kids these days want to grow up. Hopefully she will realize that being a kid is much more fun.
I'll definitely give that a go. :)
Have her help with baby when she is doing her homework, as she's getting ready for bed and in the morning as she is getting ready forsschool.
At the moment we live in the same house, we will until Feb next year while waiting for our house to be built. So she has the chance to experience almost everything first hand.
Tell her if she waits until baby is born she can help with baby sitting. My family knew I wanted a baby from a young age and always though I would have one young. They were surprised that I waited til now. I got pregnant right before my 19th bday. Like you I pretty much raised my brother and two if my cousins and babysat all the time. Let her know she can help out with the baby and she should wait to try until she has experience with a baby first. I would even allow her to be around when baby is a few weeks old so she gets a feel of the sleepless nights and allow her to help with late night diaper changes and feeds (if you're not breast feeding)
I'm hoping that when I have my son it does shock her out of this false reality she has in her head. Motherhood is not easy at any age, but why make it so much harder by choosing to have a baby at 15?
the only thing you can do is get her involved in something else to get her mind off it until the baby is born then have her in the room the entire time your in labor then make everything miserable for her with the baby and even though it seems mean it's better then having a pregnant 15-16 year old girl who shouldn't even be thinking of it and always keep her and her boyfriend with someone or in public!!! that's important my little sister is 13 on November and already wants to have a baby of her own just because I'm pregnant and j haven't even taken her shopping or anything because of it
Maybe having her with you in the delivery room might scare her to see what child birth really is. I'd also tell her to just wait until your baby comes so she can "practice" and see what having a baby is really like. If it were me under my supervision I'd make her care for my baby for a few days. Let her spend a couple weekends not being able to go out with her friends and staying up all night with a child. I bet she'll change her mind.
Yes, I would try to convince her to wait till yours is born. Make it sound exciting for her. After the baby is born she will see what a struggle it will really be. Babies are cute but ahuge responsibiliy... maybe that'll wake her up and she'll realize she isn't ready. :)
Neither her or her boyfriend work. My fiance has a full time apprenticeship, I had a part time job while studying for my degree (I had to stop working at 26 weeks from doctors orders).
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