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9961264 tn?1410873329

Visitors in hospital

So I told my MIL I don't know who I want to come up to the hospital to visit. And she gave me the "good luck trying to control that" look. My thing is they have a BIG family. And they're all very close so I understand them wanting to come up. But when I say big, I mean aunts/uncles, grandparents, grandparents sisters and brothers, etc.. and then all of their kids. To me, I think me and my husbands parents and then his gma can come up. My question is how do I explain to them that it's not a big party, it's dangerous for so many people to come up.. my husband doesn't agree with me, and it's making it kinda hard to make my point.. I'm 39 weeks and don't have much time to explain it.. Its stressing me out cause his mom is the kind of person who will just tell me, "it'll be okay" and then invite everyone..?
7 Responses
Avatar universal
Just try and be as polite, but assertive about it as you can. So many people around a new baby, especially during this time of year can be dangerous and as the mother they should respect your wishes. If they can't and your husband doesn't want to listen either, then remind him that he won't be a patient in the hospital. The nurses are there to care for you and the baby, and if you request it they will keep whomever you wish out and there's nothing his family will be able to do about it. No one of course wants it coming to that point, but if it does, know that the nurses will back you up if no one else will
Avatar universal
I do have to say however, because my husbands family is similar that I found them all coming to the hospital better than coming to my home once we were released. With my first I didn't make everyone visit the hospital, and then when we were home the all wanted to swarm us when I wanted peace and quiet and SPACE. So this time I let everyone know that anyone who doesn't make it to the hospital can expect to wait a couple weeks to meet her so that we can settle in and get our alone time. The hospital wasn't too bad because at least there you don't have to worry about cleaning up, hosting anyone, and there are specific visiting hours so at some point they all have to leave lol. But I know plenty of women who felt the opposite of me and wanted their privacy in the hospital and didn't mind visitors at home. So there are options, but be firm in your wishes and stick to them, your husband will more than likely fall in line when he realizes how serious you are. Good luck!
10720243 tn?1415582269
Just tell them straight up. If they want to visit, they can wait until you, hub, and bub are ready for a visit. And make sure you let your doctors and nurses know that.you don't want any other people coming up, so that no one can try to barge in.

I had an experience like this withy first.
RIGHT AFTER giving birth, literally still in my delivery room, still doing skin to skin, no pants on. Bleeding everywhere (thank god for blanket) EVERYONE started pouring in. Aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, and their kids. And they literally just stood there while I was trying to bond with my baby. I was so angry, but after a natural birth was too tired to get them out.

When I give birth with my second, we are only having my bff, our and our mothers in the room.
And we are not having any visitors in the two days that we will be staying there.

I will be a ***** if I have to. Nothing is more irritating than people barging in while you're still in pain and trying to bond with your baby
9961264 tn?1410873329
Thank you guys! As far as visitors when I get home, we live with my MIL/FIL so I expect a couple visitors. I'm already gonna be annoyed with them though but there's not much I can do about that. But in the hospital I'd just prefer as little visitors as possible. It's. Or show and tell time. We are in the hospital for a reason. Baby needs to be okay and so does mommy is the way I look at it. But my MIL and husband aren't seeing it that way. Hopefully I can convince him at least and he can be strict with his mom so I don't have to. Cause so far we have a good relationship, she's just over opinionated sometimes and tries to tell me what will be okay and not okay... :/
Avatar universal
My MIL's reaction to our baby news was complete shock, to which she told us "don't get your hopes up" lol i'm 17 weeks now and everytime we see her she won't get her hands off my belly which I'm finding increasingly annoying considering her attitude until we'd had our 12 week scan! I don't want everybody visiting at the hospital either nor do i want everyone piling round home straighy after the birth, I've told my husband he needs to take control and manage this for us ao hopefully he will! Good luck with it all the birth of your little one, hope all goes well :) x
9961264 tn?1410873329
Thank you. I've been having a weird feeling about tonight so we will see! But I'm hoping he helps me keep people from coming.... we will see. I might have to get nasty haha(:
Avatar universal
We waited 8 hours after our first was born before even letting anyone know he'd arrived. While we were in labor, we posted nothing to social media, told family they weren't allowed in the waiting room, and turned off our cell phones. It might be more difficult since you live with your MIL and FIL, but you have a right to make your birth what you want to be.

Ultimately,  birth is about a healthy momma and baby, and about you amd your husband becoming a family of 3. If you don't want tons of visitors, speak up and make your opinion known. If you don't think extended family will listen and your privacy is that important to you, tell the nurses and they can turn people away.

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