is it fair?

[alexandmatt]

Should your significant other quit smoking, drinking, etc. along with you during the pregnancy? If so, should he stay clean after the baby arrives to be a good daddy?

[proudmommytobe15]

I think your partner should. And once he stops he shouldn't smoke anymore. I believe once you quit , quit. Living life in bondage *****. My mom quit smoking when I was 10 and I thank her to this very day. I don't worry about her health anymore. And I can be around her more. (I can't be around smoke) she quit because it would make me sick so she was always having to stay away. I think pregnancy is a partnership amd of you're not smoking why should he. But that's just me. Plus it sets a good example for your children (not that your bad of you smoke ) but I know most teens smoke because there parents do. I've had so many friends that was the case

[mibebe15]

Of course its his decision tho, but we don't let no1 smoke at all in the house. I rarely drank alcohol anyway if even once a year so it dnt bother me at all when he drinks

[mibebe15]

I smoked ciggerettes for bout 9 or 10 years and my husband has smoked ciggerettes longer than me. I had quit once be4 for 10 or 11 months, but as soon as i found out i was pregnant i quit cold turkey the next day. I did start back after i quit the 1st time, but i normally only smoked 2-3 ciggs a day. My husband still smokes and i have asked him to quit for his Health and for our baby

[Aarahbellah]

My husband is a smoker and drinker I let him to do so as long as the smoke is not blowing in my face during our outtings and outside when we are home I just suggested that he start to cut down because I would like him to smoke and drink less when our pumpkin comes so that we have that little extra moneyto spend for iimportant things

[alexandmatt]

Thanks for your input everyone! It's nice to have different views. I'm just going to talk to him about it and let him know how it makes me feel. I'm hoping he does the right thing but if not I'll have to make a tough decision from there.

[Ehendricks]

I was smoker and a drinker before I was pregnant. Drinking was easy to stop. Smoking cigarettes was harder. My husband is a smoker as well I didn't ask him to stop smoking I just asking him to no longer smoke in the house. I didn't feel like it was right to ask him to stop smoking because I was pregnant because I know how hard it was and the fact that I can't make him stop, the only thing that I could do was ask that he smoke outside.

[RockRose]

When you choose a partner,  expect them to be the way they are when you chose them.  

Choosing a smoker and a drinker and then expecting him to change just sets you up for a world of frustration.

I do agree that he should be smoking outside the house,  not inside,  although he will continually smell like smoke and the house will too,  but to a lesser degree than if he smoked inside.

[ashrefra]

You can't force anyone do to anything they don't want to do,or grow up any faster, reguardless of baby or not. My man and I were both drinkers and smokers when I got pregnant. I quit right away and he said he would quit with me but it didn't last very long. I let him do his thing, which irratated me occasionally but it was what it was.

We ended up moving and he had to get a job and we had to find an apartment ect ect. And he still smoked and drank but it didn't stop him from doing what he needed to do to support his family. Baby came and that really pushed him to change,he eventually stopped smoking and after many frustrating fights about him pulling stupid cacapoo and going out drinking until god knows when he eventually stopped that too.

I never pushed him to change he had to see his life as it was and how he was living it, he had to want to change for the better. Fighting and pushing him just causes tension, hint it but don't be mean. Maybe just ask him to take it somewhere else because it is bad for baby?

[raelove23]

Thankfully, I was the smoker and he isn't. I quit smoking cigarettes about 3 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't easy, I've been smoking for more than half my life. But I did it!!

In my honest opinion? I don't think it's right for you to ASK him to, however I do think he should make that decision all on his own anyway.

Firstly they should be supporting you no matter what, you are going through the tough parts of this pregnancy. Secondly, you don't want your child to smoke, breathe smoke, or smell it, either. The best choice is to just quit. My mom and father smoke, therefore my sister smokes and I smoked, basically my entire family does and I truly believe that smoking "runs in families". I'm not saying that EVERY child with parents or a parent who smokes will, but they are definitely more likely.

I would say, talk about it. Ask, "do you really want to quit?" And if he does, tell him that it's great to try now as he now has a GOOD REASON to. Many smokers struggle with a good, pertinent reason to quit. Well, now he has one!! ☺

Good luck! I hope he tries, and you--stay strong!!

[JamieNVance]

I didn't ask my hubby to quit smoking weed. It doesn't bother me because if I wasn't pregnant I'd be smoking too. He doesn't smoke inside and we have both agreed he can't smell like smoke when around the baby when she's here. I think its a personal preference.

[tay2163879]

I haven't asked my boyfriend to quit, however he chooses to smoke in our backyard rather than in the house next to me. Even when his friends come over for a smoke session they go into the garage away from me since my  doctor told me I showed up positive in my first appointment. she advised to have any marijuana smoked far away from  me because if me or the baby show up positive when he's born it's cause for cps to get involved. I know it irritates me when I'm craving a beer and he's drinking one in front of me, but I know it's only temporary that I have to go without. Personally I don't feel like he needs to stop just because I have to, but I think that's also because he's the only one working right now,and I can see it helps him unwind. Every situation is different, I was lucky we were able to compromise without making it feel like a fight or ultimatum

[mandajayne0333]

If he wont stop he should at least be doing it elsewhere.  Its hard tho cause youve done the right thing and stopped and seeing him still do it must make it harder for u. Have u tried telling him it makes it harder for u when u have to see it? I stopped smokkng during pregnancy and asked my partner to as well because its too hard for me to watch him and not do it myself. He has stopped.

[alexandmatt]

I was also a smoker both cigarettes and Marijuana before I got pregnant. When I had to quit it was difficult but I know it was the right thing to do for my baby girl :) I just feel like my boyfriend should quit as well because it is always around and it's hard enough that I had to quit let alone watch him continue to smoke right in front of me. He is always having his buddies over to smoke and hang out and not only is it rude in my opinion but it makes me feel like he doesn't care. I'm not sure if this makes me a bad girlfriend or what because I don't want to make him miserable but we both made the decision to have a baby and now I'm the only one with consequences for it. P.s. I couldn't be happier to be having a baby if that's what this post is putting off! Just need some relationship advice lol

[Courtney514]

I was a smoker before I got pregnant and my husband is also a smoker, I didn't ask him to quit because I know how hard it is and it's not my decision to make for him he says he wants to quit but I know he won't but he does have to wash hands and change his shirt before he can hold our daughter if he's just smoked a cigarette because I don't want that smell on her and he's ok with that