calling all 'middle children'

[Rachel__grace_]

Hi moms. If you are the middle child of your family, can you tell me a little about how that was for you growing up? I'm pregnant with my third (& last baby according to my bf :( lol) and I'm worried my daughter, who will be the middle child, will feel left out or not special because she's not mamas first or mamas baby. I came from a family of only 2 kids (just me & my older sister) and so did my bf (he has an older sister only as well) so we have no idea how it feels to be in that situation. Any insight you ladies have is much appreciated!

[Rachel__grace_]

Thank you soooo much everyone for your posts!

[su3ad89]

In my family we are 8 siblings lol. The four olders consisted of my older sister, brother then me and then my younger brother. The other four siblings came at a later stage. So I always considered myself ad the middle child. I was always made to feel left out by my siblings they would even say I was adopted. I was quite a sensitive child maybe thats why they picked on me so much. However I was loved by my mother. So it got me thinking as I grew up maybe they felt that I was the favorite and therefore took it out on me. I was very girly and my mum like dressing me up I was also a mummys girl. My older sister was very tomboyish but when she wud see my mum always dressing me up in nice dresses etc she would feel quite jelous and want the same attention. So I think if you dont want any of ur children to feel left out then treat them all the same and dnt let them feel you have a favourite. And also teach them about the bond that you would like them to have with eachother maybe through activities etc. To strenghten their bond. Thankfully my siblings and I are now very close epsecially my sister and I. :)

[kerml78]

My sister likes to claim middle child syndrome, but i think she's the oldest of the second set. I am 11 years older than her and 14 years older than my twin brothers. Who knows?
On a positive note there is a really good children's book that i think is called i love you the purplest. It's about how moms love all their children.

[ksarahd]

I am 18 months younger than my older sister and my little sisters (twins) are 18 months younger than me. Yes my Mom is a little crazy from having 4 kids in 3 years but she did her best. I think no matter what position you are in the order of children at times you will feel left out. My parents went on to have 2 more kids, my little brother 5 years after twins, and youngest sister 3 years after only boy.  I was always the good kid that never got into trouble and always did what my parents asked of me. Thusly my Mom dubbed me "the perfect child". This frustrated my siblings even though they were getting more attention I was getting praise. They always said our "Mom loves you more". Which is absolutely not true. My Mom loves us all the same...she just likes me more. I would just try your best to be fair to all of your children and make sure you tell them that you love them all the same.

[5Nov]

My sister is 8yrs older and my brother 2yrs younger. My dad has always favoured my brother, still does. My mother gave most of her attention to my sister as we don't have the same father and my dad didn't treat her very well. I was always kinda 'just there'. I had to learn responsibility and to be independent early on, to rely on myself, which in a way is a good thing. I did feel less important though than the others,and very lonely at times.
Make sure your middle child knows they are just as loved and important to you as the other 2. And try to give all the children special alone time with you regularly, where you just focus on one at a time.
I think how a child experiences it greatly depends on how the parents treat them and handle it.
Good luck.

[Aarahbellah]

My mom had 9 I tend to not get much attention and had to take on more resposeability than the others I'm the 3 oldest there's 2 years between me and my siblings

[babymk5]

I am the middle child. 10 months apart from older sister and 5 years from little brother. Even though my sister and I are close I felt unloved and left out considering my mom.

[jen0221]

That was supposed to be care for the baby, not care for the child.

[jen0221]

I am technically a middle child but I didn't grow up living with them so I don't know. However, I have 2 boys and am currently pregnant with a girl. I was concerned about the same thing with my second boy because not only is he the middle child, but he is also the second boy. I don't want him to grow up thinking he was a mistake or that I would have preferred him to be a girl. I did some reading and found some helpful tips. First, when the baby comes, get the child involved in the care for the child as much as reasonable, such as grabbing diapers or a towel after the baby's bath. When the child completes that task, praise him/her for doing such a great job and make them feel important for doing it. Also give him/her specific 'chores' to do that only he/she does, such as removing clothes from the dryer and put them into the basket. It helps them to know that they are an important part of the family. Also if your second is the same gender as the first, it's easy to give them only hand me downs from their sibling. Make sure to take them shopping to pick out their own clothes so that they feel like something is their own and not just given hand me downs all the time. Make sure you spend time alone with him/her so they can feel how special they are to you. Whether it is simply taking only him/her for a walk or even to the grocery store if you need to grab something really fast and don't want/need to take all the kids. Those arethe things that I can think of right now.  

[Lady_Ezekiel]

Ahh the middle child, for me I was oldest daughter but my brother still favored me over my lil sister. Us two older kids grew a closer bond and while it makes me feel terrible we left her out of a lot of games and trouble making

[kklove2630]

I used to rant so much of how I was left out everyone knew how I felt and sometimes still at family get together they will make me have little outburst about it. It just become a laugh to everyone. I'm.nearly 30. Now

[kklove2630]

Oh now your talking I'm the middle child and only girl. I had 2nd child syndrome really bad. I think mine was because my older brother was naughty so took a lot of my mums time. I was born to try and save my mum and dads relationship which didn't work then after she had my little brother who is the apple of her eye. Me and my older brother now call are self's the other children as he's that much of her favourite. Lol

[Rachel__grace_]

Oh and I also would like to know the age differences between you & your siblings... my daughter will be 2 months away from turning 3 when the new baby is born, my oldest will be 9 and a half