depressed & venting

[CoMichelle]

My boyfriend.....well, I guess you can say ex boyfriend..... decided the weekend that he wanted to go to his "wife" & work it out. Even I met him he was going through a divorce. I've always had this thing for not dating men still connect to someone in any type of way, but after meeting him and discussing what was going on I believed him and we began conversing. Obviously, that led to other things. While conversing/dating he was going back and forth to court for the divorce and child support. So, right before everything was to be over and done, she decides she wants to do counseling and work her marriage out. That question was presented sooooo many times and neither wanted to do it. But now all of a sudden they do. So I'm here 7 months pregnant with a married man's child and I will now have to raise on my own. I'm so humiliated, angry, upset, etc. This was never how I wanted my life to go and never how I imagined my pregnancy to be. Mind you I didn't want a child.... And I honestly believe her got me pregnant on purpose. I wanted an abortion, but.he talked me out of doing it. I don't believe in abortions but with the circumstances around blue I became pregnant I felt it would be best. I've been depressed majority of my pregnancy and don't feel the excitement I should for my first child.

[aw219]

And omg she absolutely cannot get an abortion at 7 months!!!!!!! That's illegal! I'm pro choice but 7 months!!!!

She was saying she wanted one in the beginning but he did not!

[peaches0329]

I didn't say u were upset. N I said exactly what u said. As I experienced alot during my pregnancies.  But she also expressed abortion.  N since that's put of the question at this point I think the other ladies was giving her another option is all. But I pray all is well with all you ladies n I enjoy the feedback n advice

[dhill1989]

I don't feel anyway about anything because i am far most better without the lady who birthed me. Im not saying adoption is a bad thing its a wonderful thing i rather people do it then harm there kids or babies. But people forget us expecting moms go through emotions uos and downs and things changes. That's it all,because she said she's not happy people suggest adoption. She just needs someone to talk to that's it. I'm not mad at all. Hope all you ladies have a safe delivery.

[ABCDjE]

I just have to say im sorry for what you are going through. My first child was with a man that lied to me about everything 3 months after i got pregnant some other girl was also..... did not tell mr until i jad my daughter.....so long story short 5 kids and 7 years later im in a great relationship with a gpod guy that is taking full responsibility for our four kids and my daughter from before.....met him when my daughter was 6 months he fell in love with both of us and has been here ever since... n btw my daughter only knows him as dad my sperm doner hasnt been in her life at allall!!!! so iust keep in mind youll find someone that deserves you and your baby it will get better it might jot feel like it now but when the baby comes im sure you will just fall in love!!

[peaches0329]

Dhill. Ur taking this personal. Adoption for some people is the best a mom can do for the kid. I'm not saying she should give the child up for adoption I went thru ppd so i know the hurt u can feel when u just can't connect with ur baby.n the added stress of emotions of doing it alone. I also take care of my kids to the best of my ability but if for one second I don't believe I could've I wouldn't found a way so my kids could have the best life.  Be with or without me.

[peaches0329]

Only.one person said "that's what she gets" I know what it is to be a single mom. That's all I can speak about b encourage her with kinds words.

[aw219]

And don't listen to the people saying you got what you deserved.  No one knows your situation and it is easy to judge and ridicule someone from behind a computer.

The man is obviously a selfish ahole.

[aw219]

I would let his wife know if she does not.  She also may have gone back to him out of jealously.

This is something that is really hard I know but if your are not in absolute love with your baby you should think about adoption.

[shockwave7816]

I am in a similar situation of sorts. My now ex went back to his ex.  He just had a baby with her in August.  I met him shortly after they had broke up while she was pregnant.  He just ups and leaves last week. I'm devastated.  My difference is that I always wanted a baby,  and a family. I'm just a wreck though knowing I'm going it alone.  Hold your head high.  Decide what you need to do.  Your Baby will also link you to this man forever.  Can you deal with that? If not maybe this man wants to take care solely of his child?  These are important questions for you to ask yourself.

[trishay82]

I gotta know. Does his wife know? If not id damn sure tell her and when she throws his *** out dont cave and let him come back.

[BaileyJ88]

I'm sorry to hear that! You will make it just be strong. If it makes you feel any better..I found out my baby's dad already has 3 kids that he doesn't take care of...that he neglected to tell me about until I told him I was pregnant after a year of seeing each other. Looks like I'm on my own too. Best of luck to you! Keep your head up...it will all be ok!

[elirherrera]

Sorry to hear that. Some men can be a** ****s! But. i dont get why you say that he got you prego on purpose? Werent you taken care of your self? Why didnt u go get the 72 hr pill? You know what god is sending you this baby for a reason the baby is a blessing :)

[gnrrocks]

I'm not judging herm I said adoption because she said she didn't want kids and that she's not excited about it. I can understand why she would not be but if she doesn't want the baby if she could live with adoption she could make her baby's life great and make a couple who cannot have kids of their own, dreams come true. Ultimately it's her choice...if personally couldn't do it. But I don't believe in abortions either...Lil baby's don't ask to come into this world we choose to put ourselves into situations where they are created...

[wyattsmom2015]

Regardless if you feel excited or not this is your first child. You have to make a choice weather you want to keep it or if you would want to give it up for adoption. There is no reason to be sad or depressed about your situation because it looks like it had nothing to do with you. I would be more angry because what he did was wrong. He never should have told you he would leave his wife.

[ChrystalDH]

I am very sorry to hear this happened to you. Pregnancy is hard enough but when such an emotional thing like this happens that makes it all so much harder. But I must agree with bholcomb God works in strange ways and it is often a painful path that leads you to a most wonderful place in your life. This could be as simple as you give the baby up for adoption they get a great life with people who would not otherwise have had the ability to have a baby. Or it could be you meet the new love of your life when that baby is born. It is a hard decision to make and one that I'm sure requires a great deal of thought good luck finding the answer that you need. I'll be praying you, I hope that's okay with you.

[monuhm]

My heart goes out to you dear.  This guy is a real *** and clearly you deserve better.  Do your best not to be yourself up and I know that is a tall order...but it's so important that you keep yourself positive.  There are resources that you can use to help you.  Abortion I think is probably not an option at this stage in the pregnancy but if you are serious about it adoption is a respectful and loving option.  Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed if that's the path you choose too take.  The decision that you have to make is in the best interest of the child.  And there are open and closed adoptions of all kinds.  I would try to set yourself up with a support group or of you can afford it counseling, in my own life having that 3rd party perspective was immensely freeing and helpful.  Talk to your family and friends too.  Best of luck dear.

[AshleyKeene]

Never sleep with a married man. This is what you get. Not to be rude but what do you expect. I feel bad for the baby...

[gbyrd]

Have you thought about adoption?

[RockRose]

CoMichelle,  it was generous of you to come on this forum and offer your cautionary tale to other women who might be in the middle of making the same mistake of having sex with a married man.  I'm not sure why you put "wife" in quotes because in fact,  he's going back to his wife to work things out.  She is his wife.

This seems a perfect time to consider your thoughts on relinquishing your baby through adoption.

Best wishes.

[peaches0329]

Divorce is tricky.  A day b4 my divorce that I filed n paid for my husband decided he wanted his family. So the next day I called off the divorce n a month later my husband left again. Now i don't want to pay n keep going to court so I'm just ignoring his calls n his random stops he makes by my house. It hurt I kno. But at some point we women have to stop being a door mat n move forward.  Y deserve better. It was a mistake clearly u learned from.

[wyattsmom2015]

That was just crazy. He should have been sure before he promised you such a commitment.

[WhiteJasmineRose3]

Honestly you should have waited until it it was final. Divorce is very hard on everyone and people can think it's a real relationship but it's a rebound.

[Baby_boy77]

Oh my gosh what an a*s. I am SO SORRY some men are complete pigs. So his ex wife knows tour pregnant and is just like carry on little lady, all alone...??

Those people are classless.

[bholcomb]

I'm sorry your having a hard time. Feel free to inbox me if you need to talk. God has a plan for everyone amd this is his plan for you. If you don't feel like you can raise a child then choose an adoption might be good.