forgiveness-ranting, need advice

[ce5ce]

So I hate my sperm donor's guts. I hate the very air he breathes but it takes too much energy and I've decided it's time I focused on something else. A little background is we had been going out for a year and some change and he told me he was sterile. I believed him (big mistake/ I was stupid) I moved into his house and he started cheating on me and just before Christmas about three months into my pregnancy he kicked me out at 3in the morning because I wouldn't give him sex (I wouldn't give him any because he came home with his back all scratched up and he asked me to scratch his back) yea he's a douche. But I don't blame him because I was delusional to think he'd change for me. Smh anyways I know time heals all wounds but I'm tired of hating him now. Needless to say he will never lay eyes on my child (he does drugs and drinks and is abusive-mentally and physically) my question is do any of you ladies have any "chicken soup" for my soul? Im not still into him but I don't want to hate him anymore

[ce5ce]

Awwwww thank you do much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I had an epiphany after I wrote this that also helped me. I realized me being a decade younger than him, he essentially showed me how not to do things. How to not be loved, how to not be and stay stuck, etc. I am able to look at him as a blessing in disguise because I know in ten years I will be in a much better place than he will ever be and got right now. That's enough motivation for me added on to so many other things of course. Thank you ladies for reminding me that I am in fact strong <3

[kerml78]

Chicken soup for hurting soul-let's see, my mom was going to break up with my dad, found out she was pregnant and married him. 2 wrongs don't make a right. Only lasted few months. She prayed for a girl to not have reminder, but i look like him. Fast forward 20+ years, he finally apologized to my mom for all the ways he wronged her. She never really talked to me about him and i never really asked. We were ok just us girls. My mom even walked me down the aisle. You are a strong woman that can be a great mom to your baby without ill will towards him. Thank goodness for your blessing and good riddance.

[blackbeauty1320]

That take times all I can do is tell you to pray to God for forgiveness and don't think about him soon everything will be ok.