i need to get this off my chest..

[everley2014]

A few days ago, I did something so stupid. I regret more than anything. I've been very depressed, to the point of being suicidal lately, and I know i can't take any of my depression medications. Well a few days ago, I decided to take a few super small hits of weed. I hardly felt "high". It immediately lifted my spirits and made me feel so much better. Then my normally active son, wasn't very active anymore. And I was so scared. I knew he was fine but i couldn't help but to think the smoke had affected him. I cried and cried for so long. I prayed and prayed, not for forgiveness but that my son would be ok. I've never felt so sick and disgusted with myself in my entire life. I know it was wrong, and I'll never ever do it again. You can bash me. I think i deserve it after what an idiot mistake i made. I was just so desperate to feel normal and not so depressed for just a little while. I'm so sorry.

[everley2014]

Thank you so much for all your helpful and supportive answers. It is the exact opposite of what i expected to receive. I have just never felt so bad about something in my life. I realized it was wrong, i just wanted to get better. And my depression will never get better. Not when you have a babys father like mine..

[cswindell2014]

I smoked all the way up til 2 months ago and I'm due in 8 days I have a lot of mental problem (depression bi-polar and a few others) I'm due in 8days my baby is healthy dont stress yourself out

[Mreeah]

Antidepressants are short term fixes, there is no "cure" for depression unfortunatly. You just gotta learn how to maintain it. Ultimately antidepressants made me emotionless.
Thats not the case with everyone i know, but i handle mine with meditation. It took me years to get to this point in my life. Its possible if you believe its possible.

[Star3789]

All medications are a short term fix that's y u hafta keep taking them.

[specialmom]

I think whenever we self medicate with something that doesn't truly work on the disorder (IE: weed when we have clinical depression) that we aren't really working on the problem.  It's a short term fix and the problem of the depression will still be there.  And then shame will make it worse.  

Honey, talk to your doctor PLEASE.  It's not an issue of beating yourself up but for getting real help for something that is dangerous.  Depression can be dangerous when you are at the point of running suicide through your head.  And the truth about pregnancy is that a really critical time that doctors look for increased mental health issues is right after the birth.  So, they need to be aware of what is going on to keep everyone safe.  

I wish you the very best and am here if you ever need to 'talk'.  peace

[FebuaryBaby]

Aw sweetie. No need to be upset with you. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from them.
Also if your feeling depressed there other things your doctor can give you due to the pregnancy to help the symptoms. Mine does..  I hope everything is okay with the baby and he healthy as can be also

[showard022]

Sometimes the depression meds have horrible side effects though. I would try a more natural route first. I would deffinetly talk to your doctor though.

[babyberry000]

I think the problem with smoking is it decreases oxygen levels to your baby temporarily which could cause the decrease in movement, but the important thing is you realized it's wrong and your going to start putting baby first by not doing it any more. Have you started kick counting yet? If you have any typical signs of something being wrong you should see your dr, other wise just let it go and don't do or again,

[Star3789]

Don't beat yourself up, you didn't do anything wrong.  Weed does not harm fetuses, its way safer than any manmade drug.  But aside from that, yes you can take antidepressant, you can take sertraline.  My dr switched me to that from prozac when I got pregnant.

[tattoobabyjean]

You know they do have depression meds you can take while pregnant. Just ask your o.b. and say you need them.

[showard022]

There is no reason to bash you. I feel bad that you have so much guilt. There are mom who smoke the whole time without a care or do others things. I'm sure your baby is perfectly fine specially because if it had anything in it you would probably notice it. Your not an idiot. Try to look up foods that help with depression. I know chocalate is one of them. Stray from herbs. They can sometimes be bad for your pregnancy specially st john warts. Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be ok, I'm sure you will be a wonderfull mother and becoming a mother although being stressfull is one of the most amasing things. I have struggled with depression for years but it didn't phase me once my baby was here.

[specialmom]

Ahhh,  sweetie. I'm really sorry you are having a hard time.  Pregnancy is rough and if we have a history of depression prior, those hormones can exacerbate it.  

I encourage you to talk to your doctor about the depression.  they will want to know and want to help you.  They weigh risks with available treatment and do what is best for you and baby.  Suicidal thoughts are scary!  

That you self medicated with weed under those circumstances is also understandable and your doctor will want to know this.  

You're not in this alone.  Don't feel alone.  

And I do promise you that your doctor will want to help you.  Most Ob/gyn's try to look for depression during pregnancy or right after birth.  It's in everyone's best interest for your doctor to be involved and as it is not uncommon, they are well versed in trying to help you.  So please let them!

peace