im going to get bashed for this and i dont care.

[kay1027]

I'm not religious. But I don't disrespect people who are. But my step mom feels she needs to shove it down my throat she even said she was going to take my child to church even after I said no.I feel like my child is going to be brain washed before she can even speak. She also has told me what diapers I will be using and what not but the main thing is when she tells me about how I need to be in church. I want to leave so bad but have nowhere to go and I understand I am stuck till my husband and I get a car but I just needed to vent.so thanks for reading and if I get bashed then oh well

[kay1027]

Thank you. She hasn't said anything about it for a few days. So I am hoping she just drops it on her own.

[lilpianogirl85]

Well that's a completely different story then. She has to respect your wishes as the baby's mother whether she agrees or not. She needs to be respectful of you. My husband doesn't go to church with me, I don't force it nor do I tell him he has to go etc, I just let him know the day before what time I am going to church the next day and would love him to join me if he wants to. Maybe it might help if you sit down with her calmly and tell her you respect her beliefs and she needs to respect yours. Tell her she is welcome to invite you but she can't get bent out of shape if you choose to not go. It's hard since you are living with them and you want to "keep the peace" but she needs to understand (especially when it comes to religion) you catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. Good luck mama and you can message me if you want to practice some covo thoughts with me before you talk to her, I'm not here to judge

[kay1027]

@lil I don't plan on her watching my child on a sunday.I live here right now. I don't go to church with her but she has brought up about me going or taking my child.

[Claire_MHModerator]

Hi, folks,

I had to remove a number of posts today because they're off-topic and disruptive.  Please remember that this discussion is about kay1027's step-mother.  It is not a discussion about religion itself, nor its benefits/drawbacks/pros/cons.  Thanks!

[lilpianogirl85]

I agree with the majority in saying she definitely is going about it the wrong way and being quite rude about it. I feel the more you show love than they more people want to listen. I'm sorry she is making you feel this way, this is your child after all and you choose they way you raise her. But just for understanding sake, I think if you have asked her to watch your child on a Sunday then it would be wrong of you to expect her to stay home from church because you don't want her to take your child. Now if that wouldn't be the case then I apologize for my misunderstanding. But honestly she would be doing you a favor watching her. I am a Christian and like I said I have a big problem with her approach and she should never force you to be in an uncomfortable situation, but I have a friend who is a different religion than me, and if she asked me to watch her child for her on a Sunday I would definitely be happy to do it, but I would let her know that her child would be attending church with me because I'm not going to stop going to church because she isn't the same religion as me. I would suggest if you have a problem with your mom taking her to church, then find a different person to watch your child on Sunday. Again not trying to bash at all I just don't think it's fair for you to expect her to stay home from church because you don't want your child to go. But I hope the situation works out in a way you aren't stressing out about it and I wish you the best of luck.

[kay1027]

@ beth she is controling to a point. And I don't think she is abusive but I just think she is set in her ways. She just now got back into church and I'm sure here soon she will stop going for awhile. And she has never crossed a line with her son kids so I don't think she would with me but then again idk. I will just have to see.

[kay1027]

I believe when it comes to children you should teach them different religions and teach them science not just push that your religion is the only one or the right one. And once she is old enough let her decide on her own what she wants. I have seen a lot of kids push away from religion because their parents were so pushy on the subject and in all honesty I think telling a child he or she will go to hell because of this or that is abusive.

[BethCTech]

Your mother sounds controlling and abusive to be honest.

[CaliLoveMumaOf3]

I have friends who are Buddhist, Atheist, Muslim... and any thing else u can think of.. I do believe there is God.. I also believe in Jesus Christ.. My inlaw is a nut.. if I didn't know better... I'd be atheist because she's so annoying... anyways.. its your baby.. your choice... she needs to let u make your childs decisions... and when your daughter is old enough... you do the same... right?

[kay1027]

@camerinj if I say that then she will be all "well I took my son out when he was a baby" or "I see people who just left the hospital at Walmart" and blah blah blah so I will wait till that day comes. I have had similar conversations and she has either snapped at me or made a comment I finally just droped it. What I don't understand is that we have sat down 100 times and talked about this and I have told her 100 times that I see no point in spending my entire life trying to please a god. I choose go live my life to please myself. And she was okay with that. But now she makes comments like I am going to pray for your soul.

[camerinj]

the good news is, you won't even have to worry about it for a couple months. I do go to church but my doctor has always told me not to.take a newborn out in public for 6-8 weeks and she specifically mentioned no.church. too many people all crammed close together.
let her know it is not good for baby

[bsconcerned]

Wow not only is it messed up that she is trying to force someone in YOUR child that you don't believe in but to say she was going to take your child to church anyway? Like what behind your back? I wouldn't let somebody take my child to the grocery store without my ok, let alone to church. Neither my fiance or I believe,  therefore we will not be raising our son under religion but if once he gets older and learns about it on his own and if he chooses to believe and attend church I will support him 100% .. my best friend asked me if she was going to be his god mother (she is not religious and apparently didn't know that it wasn't just a title) and I had to explain to her that God parents are who is to raise your child u ser religion if something were to happen to you.. my fiances boss asked the same thing and I said no. Neither of us believe, we are not having him baptized etc. She said "well I do believe so I will teach him" um no you wont?! If I'm not choosing to raise my child under religion,  why would I want someone to if something were to happen to me?! Lile you said, I don't tell people they are wrong for believing, or if they raise their children to do so they have no place to tell me how I should feel.

[stacey33k]

If you strongly believe in what you believe then her talking should not affect you either way. You know who you are and what you believe.

[MomnaBree97]

Throwing religion down someone's throat IS telling them their going to he'll for not believing! When people talk some fine ignorant sh*t like that it's a pet peeve of mine I'm sorry it just makes me so mad.

I don't believe and neither am I an atheist but I don't walk around talking about it. It's literally just not apart of my life . My boyfriend is religious when the subject t comes up like he gets passionate but we don't go to church or really talk about it. My GRANDMA on the other e'er hand is always trying to stuff it down my that and telling "bless you sweety I'll pray for you" and I literally get offended that she thinks I'm so horrible and I've fought with her about because she'll raise her voice and get all snippy with me and that does not fly -_-
I saw raise your baby the way you want to. Religious or not just make she has those morals and understanding and that she knows no matter what she chooses  She's right with you that's what we're doing

[kay1027]

I do like learning different religions but its mostly because I am into history. And religion is a big part of it.

[mama2bwit2]

Look girl you raise that baby the way you see fit. Dont let others push you into doing something you dont feel comfortable doing you will be a great mom regardless if you or your child goes to church. Your the mother you do what you feel is right everyone else needs to back off and let you make your own decisions and just be ok with it and if there not I would say to hell with them

[missymarie214]

I've had a lot of similar issues, since I only belief in things that have scientific proof, and honestly, it'll never stop. There will always be that one person who wants to try to change your mind, and I've learned that you just have to pay absolutely no attention to it. It's ultimately your choice as to what happens with your child, so keep your head up, and do what you feel is right. Good luck!

[knufrio]

Kay1027 I am right there with you! although I'm interested in learning about different religions(out of sheer curiosity) I do not follow any of them. I am a very firm believer in science and think that most of the "stories" religions teach are ridiculous. I don't understand how people can not accept scientific facts like evolution. When we die there is no heaven or hell, we simply die. Our hydrogens and carbons break down and are then free to join other atoms to create something new... My child will be allowed to determine her own views on religion though and will be free to follow or not follow any one in particular.  

[kay1027]

Yeah couldn't leave it with "I am happy with my life"

[KayElizaxx]

People will jump on each and every opportunity they have to shove their views down your throat lol.

[scarletbegoniass]

No I hear you. My family has tried to force me into things as well and it really sux

[kay1027]

All I needed to do was vent not start anything. I mean ppl talk about weed and abortion so why not hear an atheist vent about religion lol but oh well

[kay1027]

If you read my comments on this I am going to introduce her to religion but not how my mother wants to. @newmommy I'm going to keep comments to myself but just look into other things and not be one sided

[xoxohbxoxo]

It's your baby, she has no right to your child. She can't force her into church if you don't allow it and she can't dictate what diapers she will be wearing unless she's paying for them. I'm not religious either but my boyfriend and his family are. I'm going to let them introduce him into church and he can decide as he gets older what he believes in. It's not fair for your mom to try to force religion on your child but at the same time I think you should expose your child to religion and let her make the personal decision herself when she's old enough to understand it.