Thank you all so much! I've been really researching the best options but getting advise from those who've been there is so reassuring! I'm hoping to go with water birth!
I was fortunate in that labor with my first was 5.75 hours, with only 15 minutes of pushing. That being said, contractions were 30 seconds apart from 4cm on out, which sucked. I wanted to go as far as possible before an epidural, but frequent contractions put stress on baby so they threw me on oxygen for a bit and I got the epi. They turned it down when it was time to push so that I could feel and have control. It's not pleasant, but I have endometriosis and it wasn't too much worse contraction-wise than the pain from that can be.
I went to Lamaze (and think it's beneficial for women to go), but ended up throwing everything I learned out of the window when it was time. What helped me was thinking "every contraction is one closer to my son". Viewing it as a means to an end made each contraction passed a small victory.
It was hard and a lot of effort, but it was amazing and relaxing in between contractions and a good challenge. First was a 14 hour easy early labour then after transition 3.5 hours of harder labour (incl. 1 hour pushing which was tiring). Second was similar but maybe 20 mins of pushing.
I used waterbirth for the pain, it helped the most, plus deep slow breathing, visualisation and a supportive birth team. I learnt a lot about birth at a Calmbirth class (similar to hypnobirthing or Bradley method). I'd say going in prepared, calm and determined is pretty helpful.
Not the worst pain I've ever felt. I'd put some of the contractions at a 9/10 but there were breaks to recover every 1 or 2 minutes. I've had 8/10 period pain that felt worse because there were no breaks, plus I've had occasional 9 or 10/10 stomach cramps that went for an hour with no breaks, both were much worse than labour. Altogether I'd say for me, most of labour isn't painful, just interesting, and the bits at the end that are painful or very strong are manageable if I'm in warm water and able to change positions to what suits.
Contractions were the worse for me. Felt like severe period cramps. Checked into hospital at 9 am, got epidural around lunch, had son vaginally at 6:30 pm. The epidural was gone by the time I had him (I pushed for an hour and a half) so I felt everything, it wasn't that bad. Getting sown up after was pretty painful but once baby is out you forget about all that pain. It's kinda like "thank God its over and I can rest" feeling.