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Avatar universal

leaves me at 15 weeks pregnant...

Wee have been together for two years this November but he waits to leave me until i am 15 weeks pregnant. Now I am going to be a single mom to 3 kids, 2 white and one mixed. Wtf am ii supposed to do? If i do decide to date anyone then around here no decent white man will want me because A: I won't be able to have anymore kids and B: I will have a mixed child. And no decent black man will want me because i will have 3 kids at the age of 22. Plus there aren't that many decent men here unless they are taken, gay, or old.

What is even worse is i already have 2 kids that wouldn't know who their daddy was oif he passed them on the street, and now he is leaving his kid too. So much for keeping promises! So much for not being like your father who walked out and left his kids to some stranger after their mother died!

Why the hell would God allow me to have another child if he knew it would end up being fatherless. I wasn't supposed to get pregnant, i was actually gping through menopause! So why allow me to bring another child in thso world that is going to just be left as well. It doesn't deserve this. And now I am sitting here and abortion has crossed my mind even though I would never actually do it plus I have been fighting so hard to keep this baby after they thought I was losing it!

I have heard that God won't put anything on your plate you can't handle, but I'm not a professional weight lifter! I can't take much more of this!
31 Responses
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Avatar universal
I'm sorry hun that ur going thro this but u will meet a good man who will Luv u And ur kids... It might not be right away but it will happen:) how r u going thro menopause if u say ur gonna be 22 wit 3 kids?/?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Because I ave Premature Ovarian Failure which is where your ovaries stop working which forces you into early menopause.
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5913031 tn?1382391190
Don't worry my sister has two mixed kids and now a white one and she's takes them out all the time and men still try to talk to her and flirt... At the end of the day someone will love you and your kids may not be today but the day will come :) your young you have plenty of time to find someone else !
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Avatar universal
a gd man wil love ur kids no matter Wat colour ur kids are hun u will be a gd mum to ur kids wit out any man helpin
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Avatar universal
Just so stupid, why can't he just be a man and keep his promises. I mean even if we aren't together he should be there for his kid! I mean wtf!
Helpful - 0
5898464 tn?1376680563
You never know you might get back together ! And if not you'll find another man . My whole pregnancy I had at least one guy a day hitting on me . Lol . & For some reason guys love pregnant woman , I think it's gross but whatever !! And for the raise of your kids , no man nor woman should care about that it's ignorant . I'm sure your kids are beautiful and they don't need a man . I didn't have my dad around and I'm way better off with him outta my life . Good luck with everything girl and stay strong <3
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4476664 tn?1361632949
A decent man won't care if your kids were neon green. How about you just focus on the kids and not worry about what a man will or won't do. You're not doomed to be single because of the amount or ethnicity of your children.
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Avatar universal
Who needs a man nowadays? I know it's tough, but do you really think you can't do it? My mom was a single mom of five!
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Avatar universal
@gordonbaby i am focused on my kids. But i grew up without a father figure in my life, no one to protect me, and my mother was always so interested in herself plus I hated my mother because I felt it was her fault my father left. I was raped by my own husband and became pregnant with my daughter(second child) and my mother told me I had to stay with him so as not to embarrass the family. Tried to contact my daddy and could never get ahold of him. When i needed someone to be there for me I didn't have that. It's not so much me worried about being single as it is he is going to go out and live life and date whoever and be scott free while i am here with his child. I am raising children without their father for nothing I have done. So don't tell me to focus on my kids because that is what I have been doing since I was 17. I cook, I clean, I work my *** off and barely get to spend time with my kids because I am trying to provide for them. I was finally able to go home and take a break a coupke hours every dayday for the last year because me and him were living together and had 2 incomes. But now as my 2 children are starting school and I am having complications with a high risk pregnancy he up and leaves so now I have to work long hours again and hardly see my kids. So who will my childre. Have when they need something? I will be at work and not 1 of my 3 children will have a father figure in their life. So before you tell me to just focus on my kids, why don't you focus somewhere else.
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5110781 tn?1378361950
Have u considered adoption maybe??
Its not for everyone but just something to think about maybe...i get what u mean about wanting a father figure for your babies, i really tried for years to get my sons father to be in his life but really u cant make someone do something they dnt want and u cant make someone be around that doesnt...only thing u can do is hope maybe he'll come around (you'v still got a ways to go) and keep doing what u gota do for your kids ....if all this is happening its for a reason...
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Avatar universal
@vro I know how you feel. Not exactly, but I do. I have a high risk pregnancy and my baby daddy took off and is refusing to even entertain the idea of a child, even though it's 100% his. Im working 50-60 hours a week and just worked 14 days in a row to try and keep making money to put away for my baby. Its depressing and frustrating and life feels impossible. But that baby is still gonna depend on you. You may not be a heavy lifter, but god is beside you on this. Miracles happen. I believe youll make it through this.
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Avatar universal
What i don't understand even more is he wanted a kid. We were actively trying until doc told me basically it would be a cold chance in hell.... I just don't get it.
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Avatar universal
When I told my baby daddy his words were "oh, itll be cool to have a little me running around. Of course ill be there for you and the baby" to now ignoring me and telling people its impossible its his.
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Avatar universal
I grew up without a dad as well and it's heartbreaking to me to know my baby will do the same. But that doesn't tell me to give up. It tells me to work 5 times as hard. I want my baby to have the best, and the best is always mom. Something will work out :)
Helpful - 0
5110781 tn?1378361950
My son was planned and his father was the one that actualy told me we should start workin to get pregnant so i got off birthcontrol and everything...he was so excited his first boy and he was gonna teach him soccer and this and that...two years later my son has no idea who he is and he hasnt helped me with ****...but my son could careless, hes the happiest baby ever and doesnt need or want anything because he has more then he can imagine....its our place as moms to step up and provide everything for our children and yea even if we gota suffer or go without just for them then who cares, as long as babies r happy n healthy then who cares
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Avatar universal
Go mamas!
Helpful - 0
4476664 tn?1361632949
Yeah, I still stick to what I said. Don't.post on a public forum and expect candy coated **** always....you don't like it, tough cookies, report me.

Your outlook on men is TOTALLY distorted. To break it.down my.ethnicity as to why a black man or white man won't want.you goes to show that you don't even know where to.begin to point.out a decent man. Your relationship story is unfortunate but.that still means you keep doing what you do to make sure the.kids are taken care of. If anything, men should be the LAST thing you're worried about. Get it.together mentally and emotionally. There are tons of single.mothers and it only makes your wiser and stronger. Well, at least it should.
Helpful - 0
3360193 tn?1365871889
i agree, I'm a single mum also though I'm fortunate his daddy takes a lot to do with him and we are working to try get back together, but the main point (and first paragraph) of your post seems to be your concern re having children of different races and why no man (black or white) will have you - to be fair, it shouldn't matter what colour your kids are, or how many you have, if the guy really is decent.   I'm sorry you experienced sexual abuse, no woman should have to experience that  but many of us do.    some men want children until they have one, and they realise it's not all sunshine and fairy dust.   and while it's rotten, at least you know now that he wasn't sticking around than walking out when babes was a few days or weeks.  
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Avatar universal
Yes and why? Because in this town if you are a white woman with a mixed child you are trash. People are still VERY racist here. In highschool there was a mixed kid on the basketball team that was AMAZING at ball, but the coach wouldn't let her actually play. She had good grades and no disciplinary problems. She moved to a diff town about 2 hours away to a high school that had a much better team and they STARTED HER. That is just beyond disgusting to me. Wasn't trying to put emphasis on it just typing what i was feeling and trying to make a point. You don't have to sugar coat anything but don't for one second think I'm not properly caring for my kids.
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5110781 tn?1378361950
I guess the way u worded it was a lil the wrong way....  by what u typed it seems like your saying no good white man will want u becausr u have a mixed kid and no good black man will want u because ur young with 3 kids.... its just kinda naive because i kno a man that excepted a women with 5 kids frm 3 bbyddys and 3 of them were mixed (he was black) i also kno a white mann that excepted a women with 3 kids and she never gave him any of his own....its just wrong to make it seem like race is a big factor when it isnt to everyone and to the ppl that is well they are ignorant and close minded
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4476664 tn?1361632949
To use that example, you would think that you wouldn't want to keep residing there. And I never once implied that you don't care for your children.
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5761111 tn?1373906251
I was a single mother of two kids for a while two different dads. U really shouldn't be worrying about a dude right now what needs to be going thru ur head is getting that baby to full term I believe in abortion but not this far along. I personally wouldn't choose adoption. U wanted the baby and when he was there u were happy about it. Who cares if the babybis mixed any good man will want u and take u in. So cheer up think about ur kids make them happy get that idiot out of ur head keep busy and u will be fine.
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Avatar universal
Maybe he just needs some time to think and maybe he will come to his senses and come inches realizes what he is missing out on and I know exactly what you mean about having a mixed child and no white man will ever want you because I have two mixed children and I live in a racist town to
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Avatar universal
Not being rude but if you think peoole will have a problem with a mixed baby maybe u shouldnt have laid down with a black man. Im a black female and see no problem with mixed children.  All children are beautiful and if they cant accept ur kids. .to hell with em!! Hang in there
Helpful - 0
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