Is it wrong not to give baby his last name???

[Safi29]

So we've been together two years and this is our first child together. He has 3 others, whom all have his last name, and I have 1 and she has mine! I gave my daughter my last name because her father left when I was 3mos pregnant, so I didn't see the need. This pregnancy is different. He's here, he's supportive and we're still together but we're not married. I believe the child should have my name unless we're married but he totally disagrees. Part of me feels that I'm carrying old baggage by not wanting to give the baby his name, but a small part of me wants to do it because he is here. He says he wants to get married but has not proposed and honestly I don't think he is ready. We've had ups and downs involving his youngest child's mother (I'm sure you know what I mean), and I'm not not feeling secure about the relationship-basically the trust is gone. Any thoughts???

[annaconda96]

You do what you feel is right , yes he had some of the making of the child but still doesn't mean he needs to receive the last name . If he loves he should understand where you're coming from

[mommyoftwoblessings2015]

If y'all ain't married it isn't wrong

[Sarahbb21]

If you don't think that your guys relationship will flourish to a beautiful marriage or evwn flourish to a great future I wouldn't do it just for the sake of not having a ring on my finger.  But at the end of the day only you know whats best for your baby.  I'm only giving suggestions.

[Safi29]

Thanks ladies....it's so difficult because he's so opposed to any other man being around and raising his child (if we broke up for good, because we've broken up before) and he's always talking about how that would never happen. So I know he's super strong willed about his children. But I just don't feel comfortable doing it. And I hate to say it, but I hate having 2 babydaddys. So if rather my children have my name.

[jessmore]

I can some what relate as I am in the same situation as well but a little different. My bf and I have been together 4 years he has 2 other children with his last name from his previous marriage. We are now expecting a little boy of our own he too is very strong willed about our son having his last name which I agreed. I also let him know how I felt about our son having his last name along with is other children and his ex wife keeping his last name. I explained to him that it doesn't feel right to me for my child to share a name to a family that I don't and upon talking about this he decided to propose and we have been looking at rings. So I say explain to him see where it goes and if you two can compromise on something.

[emi236]

I agree, if you're not married then you have that choice.  When she/he is older if they want to take his last name. Let it be their choice. And if you do get married, wouldn't be hard to put a change of name for your baby too

[Bunni_127]

My kids have my last name since I'm the main one raising them. Thier name changes with mine.

[sabbylopez]

My kids have my husband's last name and even if we werent married or together I would still give them his last name because every child should have a connection with the father even if it is just a last name. So if you get married then your last name will change but your kids will not. My mom gave me my dad's last name and he was never around. He was abusive and an alcoholic. I'm glad she gave me his last name.

[cef1990]

My children have my last name, and even if we split this baby would still have his last name, he is an incredible dad, puts my babies before anything and anyone and I'm proud that they have his name. Hopefully we will be married one day and I can join my children in sharing his last name (8 years together and countless conversations but still no ring lol). It is ultimately your choice, do what you feel is right for your family and your children.

[cef1990]

My stupid phone autocorrected..... my children have my boyfriends last name