rant vent

[zaydensmommy79]

I'm so tired of the abuse from my boyfriend!  He is emotionally and physically abusive towards me and I really just don't know how much more I can take! I know the logical thing to do is to leave of course but it's hard when u love the person and see good in them and just keep hoping the good will return... I had our son 2 weeks ago and since day 1 he has been so cruel to me. He constantly tells me that my son doesn't need me because I'm a bad mom (all because I take a little longer than him getting up at night due to having stiches that hurt) and always calls me horrible names and says horrible things to me regarding being a mother. He has even hit me in front of him (i know he is only 2 weeks old but it's the principal). I love this man to death.. it's so hard seeing the person u love change like this.. I don't know what to do anymore.. some days I almost get fed up enough to leave but think of the good times and how I do get treated good sometimes and all the love I get almost times and then I can't imagine leaving for me and my son (he loves his son and is a great father). I don't need any advice. I know I should leave. It's just hard and I honestly don't think I ever would. This is not how I want my daughter if I ever have one to be like. I want her to stand her ground and respect her self enough to walk away and know she's better than this.. I wish I could take my advice sometimes.

[Tanjat]

What's there to love about a person that beats you?   He has no right to put his hands on you.   He clearly does not love or respect you,  otherwise he wouldn't be treating you like garbage.   The more you allow him to hurt you,  the worse it'll get.   It only escalates, it doesn't get better.   One day he may kill u.  I think you need to get the f away from him asap.

[zaydensmommy79]

I cried reading all these comments. I know I need to leave. I really do, it's just hard. One day I will find the strength to walk away. Thank you for your support

[B1128]

He's not a man, and he's not a good daddy. If he were a man he would know how to handle himself without handling you! If he were a good daddy he wouldn't lay a hand on you or speak poorly to you! These are not traits of a good man or a good dad. Sorry honey. He's a cruel and very sad man. As said above, to stay for the little "good" moments you have, or your mind is telling you "get remember this time" is selfish, it is VERY dangerous for you. It is very dangerous for your baby. My boyfriend grew up in an abusive home, his dad beat and trampled his mother (his mother fought back and did the same to him on occasion) -this is not what you want for your son. His dad went on putting his hands on women, as his mom went on to have hands put on her. It's a disgusting and sick cycle. His dad is a very very rude car less selfish person who has left my boyfriend his whole life and comes around just for a moment of goodness to ruin everything for all of us. No, my boyfriend has never EVER laid a hand on a woman, and he has never done it to me nor has he ever spoken poorly to anyone or myself. "It continues with your son thinking it's okay" -usually this is what happens and is often more heard of. But sometimes it doesn't continue, sometimes the son realizes this is awful and wishes it would just stop! My boyfriend has a very hurt and scared little boy inside of him, due to both his parents being violent in fights both verbally and physically, and frankly it's sad as hell. He's the best man in this world, gentle and tries his best to always stay away from any conflict. My point is, yes your son can grow up being like his dad, or he can grow up continuing to carry the little boy with him his whole life filled with fear and turn out to be total opposite of dad. The choice is yours, either way there is no "win" for your son.

You said you know you should leave him, then do it. You say you love him, well honey love is not always enough and to continue putting your life and your sons life in this boys hands is not smart and so dangerous. He has already hit you, this will not, not happen again. It will happen again, and who knows how bad it will be? Will he be able to stop? Will he say sorry this time? What about next time he does it and says he's sorry? He's sick. He's a sick BOY and by you staying you are allowing him to do this to you, you are saying "it's okay, I love you" it's not okay, and love should not ever be enough to endure such physical and emotional abuse. We are all here if you need someone.

[lilmama1170]

Please leave him it will only get worse,i was in abusive relationship for years so i know exactly how you feel fortunately me and that donkey didn't share a life together but he was a big part of mine we grew up together 8 years later i stil speak to him from time to time although he doesn't deserve my forgiveness i have forgave him but will never allow him to hurt me or share in my happiness it was honestly one of the hardest things i have ever been thru but i don't regret leaving him i regret giving him what should have been the best 4 years of my life now with my childrens father i appreciate him even more this wonderful loving not perfect man is perfect to me he has never even called me out my name and lord knows I haven't always been the best to him either...i hope you find the strength to do what you know you should

[momtobe1stime]

You said you don't want any advices. So please let us know when you leave him. The man doesn't love you.

I hope you leave before it is too late meaning someone can get reay hurt and sorry to frank, even die.

[CDV123]

leave! its simple as that. yes you say you "love" him but i promise you its not love its more of an infatuation. I spent 5 years of my life with the wrong guy because I thought I was "in love" with him. Now I'm with the most amazing man I could ever ask for for my kids and myself. Talk to your family and friends when you get time alone and see about moving in with one of them. You don't have to tell him where you're going. And if he is physically abusing you, you really need to report it he won't change. Look into getting a restraint order against him for you and your baby. That baby depends on you for everything.

[EWIGGLESBOTTOM]

It's hard to think that your life could be better without your son's father by your side, you're still immersed in the situation. I know how that feels. I want to share that I chose to stay with someone who treated me similarly until the night he took it too far - about 3 months after our daughter was born. That night he beat me unconscious and didn't stop even then. When he was done, he poured beer over me so that when I called the police, I would smell like I hadbeen ddrinking. He then locked me out of our house with our daughter inside and my phone had been smashed. I never thought it would come to that, I thought his threats were empty and we could work through it. It's just not true, these things only get worse. The police believed me, got my daughter out of the house and drove me to my parents house. I went to the courthouse the next morning with a black & blue face, got an intervention order and haven't seen him since. 16 years later I'm not the same woman, I had a lot of counselling, I reached out for support when I needed it and I stood against domestic violence. Raising my daughter alone (til recently) has been hard, but she respects herself and I respect myself, the cycle of violence won't repeat with me or her. It was hard, but not impossible. I'm now married to a wonderful man who treats us both like we're goddesses, we have a daughter together and a baby due to make an appearance any moment now. It can get better for you too. But it's up to YOU to take a stand. Best of luck.

[mummy_times_2]

Your already aware that this is not ok so break the cycle get out .. monkey see, monkey do .. you say you'd never hope for your daughter to got through it but sticking around is only going to teach your son to do it to some one else's daughter.. You need to leave x

[MrsLozano_13]

Ive seen these types of situations throughout my family and one thing i know for a fact: IT GETS WORSE. Stop it now before its gets harder to leave.

[aprillynn2]

I understand then reason of not wanting to leave. I was in a similar situation but I have not had my child yet. He loved to put the blame on me and such and last we got into a fight and him throwing such hateful words towards not only me but my family as well. So we split up (he is the one who broke it off) and I went home, and a couple hours later he texted all kind and saying don't leave me.  And uet he was messaging other women while he was doing this. At that point I asked myself if I want to go back to the abuse and deal with the same stuff over and over because he won't change and my child does not deserve to see his/her mother being hurt in anyway by his/her father. Not something you want to teach your child is ok to do to others.  So my point is as much as you love the good parts the bad will not change, also think of your child and if you truly want your child to see all of that.

[Emmyx2]

You've reached the point where you're just confused.You don't love him.Any man that treats you or the baby like that is worthless.If you love your baby,you will want what's best for them and keep them from harm.Being with him for the "good" times is selfish and a baby should not be in that situation. It will get worse from here on out and the baby will be put through stress and learn that arguing is okay.Trust me,I was just with a piece of **** a couple minutes ago and pray that he never comes back.I am so much better without him. He constantly brings me down and makes me feel worthless.Do you really want your baby around that?!think about the baby first.

[Christina220]

You obviously know what you need to do..so I'm not going to state the obvious. But if you do stay and continue to put yourself thru this you are teaching your son to treat other women like this as well. He is going to grow up thinking that this is normal and OK. It's hard to leave and I'm sure the idea of raising your child on your own is overwhelming so maybe you could talk to him and let him know that if his behavior continues then you will have no other choice but to leave. Maybe you could convince him to go to counceling together or something. But if it doesn't stop you NEED to leave! You deserve better and so does your son!

[cef1990]

Honestly take a moment and really think why you would stay?? I know you said there are some good times but that Does Not excuse his behaviour! How can he love and respect you if this is how he's behaving? You said you wouldn't want your daughter if you had one to grow up like you but then take a second to think of your son, if you stay this behaviour will be normalised in his eyes and may end up behaving the same as his dad one day! You and your son are both in danger. Put your son's health and safety first aswel as your own. I really wish you luck, but it is a curse to block out the bad with tiny good memories!

[3boysnowalilgirl]

You say his a good father? But is a good father a man who is showing his son this is how you treat a woman?? No!! Do you want your son to grow up thinking this is ok and to treat his future mother of his children? Get out while u can for yours and your son's sake,

[igoraroyal]

U need to get up and leave .. Real men do t hit women .. Cowards do ... Ur baby doesn't need to see that and u deserve more ... No woman deserves to be hit abused or yeild at by anyone ... U may love him but think of ur baby .. Blood comes first family comes first ... If he has just started this since the baby is born then its jealousy .. He's nor getting all ur attention. ... He's NOT A MAN

[BABYHAMP15]

You need to leave! He's not a man! He's an animal. & soon enough, what u are allowing him to do to u, u will allow him to do to your child.  Life if too short!