Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

wow just wow

So every time I talk to my friend about my baby she gets jealous.. her bf is 50 something and she is 28 and he never wants to have sex with her.. she also has HIV and he has hep c.. but she wants a baby really bad but can't have one BC he doesn't ever want to do anything plus their health issues.. so I feel like she wants to take over my baby.  Anyways today she texts me and starts questioning me bout my baby and if I'm going to let them babysit and if I will let her spend alone time with my child.. she also said "you're going to let me hold her right? I won't infecther" what kind of question is that?!?! Ugh that pissed me off and then I was like omg I'm so hungry I'm going to bake some brownies.. she texts me back saying be careful you don't gain too much weight you don't want to get fat!! Excuse me!!!!?? Who asked you? I'm sorry you weigh 180 pounds but Im not overweight I weigh 115 and I'm 23+4 weeks pregnant and have only gained two pounds if anything I think I could afford to gain a few.ugh sorry just so mad.. she even told me I can't protect my child from everything like who says these things to a ftm???
32 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Honestly if she is mentally unstable i woild be careful what u say to her it could really.set her off. Sitting down with a friend who has there mind in the right spot and being honest with them is something they can.comprehend but id be a bit worried she migjt be a little more obsessive if u tell her u dont want her around the baby. Maybe back off for a bit and dont answr her calls and just kinda ignore her and see.how that goes. Thats a tough call but i wojld never leave my baby with someone if i was.doubting it. Follow your intuitions they are usually right.
Helpful - 0
5549102 tn?1376522673
I have neighbors like that. She would be like I get to watch you have the baby right. Ummm no. So then they send their kid over without asking. Sorry I have a 20 month old I'm tired all the time and I don't want your 9 year old over here asking me tons of questions while I'm having a hard time keeping things clean in this house fro. Being tired and having a 20 month old that is a tornado. So she starts coming over with her kid she sees we have a food stock because I was busy cooking. So she says things like wow I wish we had food we have to starve until Friday. OK well I gave them some food.  The next week they are back over asking for more food. I give them some more. A few days later they come back telling me oh I'm out of cucumbers I just gave them 15 (we have a garden ) so I give her a few more. They borrow our brand new weed eater with a full thing of string use up all of the string. She sends me a text asking for more stuff. I finally thought hey these people have a computer a four Wheeler satellite and a nice car. It's time they sacrifice just like we do. We do not have any nice luxuries we struggle and we have worked hard to get a food supply which has been cut short.

Anyhow Sorry for that but the point is I had to cut them completely off because they were to personal and wanting to take from us. I don't really have friends because I am to nice and always seem to be taken advantage of.

If it were me I would tell her hey you need to back off or we won't be on speaking terms. Tell her she is being to controlling and freaking you out.

As for the babysitting thing I didn't let my own mother watch my son for the first year. He is my baby and needed me which I breastfed anyway and my mom can't do that.

If she really wants a child they have ways of using her boyfriends sperm and her egg. They will wash the sperm and fertilize the egg and implant her.

People like that would freak me out and would make me scared they were going to steal my baby.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Omg don't scare me now!!
Helpful - 0
5752933 tn?1383533437
If she's seriously that unstable she might try kid napping her and acting like your baby is hers, it's happened before with people that sound just like her, I'd be cautious of her for sure.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Its df weird! I think I'll back off now.. BC you're probably right bout it getting worse when my little girl is here
Helpful - 0
4194487 tn?1370046144
Wowwww.. This woman is crazy! Definitely get away from her! I had a girl that was inboxing me around my duedate saying have you had your baby? Have you had your baby yet? Hurry up! And she was pretty obsessed through out my pregnancy and i deleted her off facebook and she got the idea.. Shes only going to get worse once bubs here take a stand now
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I would just tell her that you dont think that she's the type of person you want around you or your family. Tell her you know about the drugs and don't need that I your lives.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Not only is she being rude, but her questions sound a little creepy. Just my opinion...

I would not contact her for a while, and if she asks, just let her know that you aren't needing unwanted advice (please, who cares, unless all you eat is brownies, than what does it hurt!?), and that you don't want to make issues over things that are yet to happen (her wanting to babysit)...

Helpful - 0
5724951 tn?1392422353
Your welcome :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'll do that.. see how it goes! Thank you :)
Helpful - 0
5724951 tn?1392422353
Yikes that would kinda freak me out too. I wouldn't even know what to say to her cause if she's on heroin and mentally unstable you can't know how she'll take it. Sorry I don't have any better advice maybe you should just try distancing yourself and see what happens. Good luck with everything!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I just don't feel comfortable around her.. the reason her and her bf got these things is BC they used to be heroin addicts and I just found out through another friend that they recently relapsed! She is creeping me out a little.. like she is trying to change things on my registry like its her child!! She told me my diaper bag and stroller don't match so I HAVE TO CHANGE IT I told her i liked it and she went as far as saying that my baby told her she didn't like it! She also keeps trying to have me formula feed my child when I want to breastfeed and she told me to put formula on my registry! Then I put pampers on my registry and she told me that the babies r us brand is the same thing and I should use those BC that's what she would get. She is my child! I'm going to do what I want.. ugh.. I don't feel comfortable leaving my baby with her or her man BC neither one of them is mentally stable.. she has SERIOUS mental issues as well. And so does he.. and my fiance doesn't want our child around someone with HIV HEP C DRUG ADDICTS THAT ARE MENTALLY UNSTABLE and idk what to say to her! Should I just be honest???
Helpful - 0
5431850 tn?1381682097
My son has an aunt from his dads side of the family with hiv and it has never made me scared to leave my child alone with her. but this woman you're talking about sounds like a creeper but then again maybe she is just very insecure with her health issue and she may feel like everyone is scared of her. her intentions may be good or could be bad but i don't know her. You do what you feel is best. You'll have those mommy instincts.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I feel ya! My bff is seriously driving me crazy! Like I'm happy she wants to be in his or her life but sometimes its too much!  She was saying stuff like she'll sleep over and wake up so I can rest! And telling me what I can and can't do being pregnant! I have a husband who can help me take care of our child! And I hate how people always try and give advice when you don't ask for it! So annoying!
Helpful - 0
5724951 tn?1392422353
*know
Helpful - 0
5724951 tn?1392422353
And I hope I don't sound like a bad person with this but with my kids my sister in law has hiv and I now she wouldn't intentionally do anything but I always got nervous when they were around her. Especially alone.
Helpful - 0
5550067 tn?1375149180
I feel like the majority of the ladies here are ftms so maybe they don't have enough experience to answer some questions.. :) Well In my opinion, I'd be worried  to leave my baby alone with her, she doesn't seem like her mind is in the right place, it's night turn into an obsession  idk deff cut some communication with her for a while..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Good luck!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree, try talking to her. If she gets offended and upset then so be it. Sounds harsh but I had a friend who was much the same. She 'knew it all' used to get in my face about everything. I spoke to her, told her the truth and how i felt and she got upset for a few weeks then came and apologised. We are really great friends now. Good luck Hun.
Helpful - 0
5724951 tn?1392422353
That's crazy! I don't know why people have to be like that. It's one thing to be jealous but keep it to yourself. Sorry your having to deal with a friend being like that. Just brush off what she says and just take some space. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly! :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I would back off and maybe she will get the hint. I have a friend like that only her 10 year old daughter is asking those questions. And then the 10 year old asked at what age she should have a baby, i was like um maybe you should talk to your mom.

I feel the same way about the posts. I think the most i get is 2 or 3 responses so i post on every page hoping i get enough to answer my question.
Helpful - 0
4725879 tn?1368826572
^hence the reason alot of us older members (as in been here for months) only troll posts & answer when someone is in dire need :)

My advice is this, you can either allow for cool off time which often works, or if your friend is anything like mine were you need to be vocal about it. My problem was like you, kept my mouth shut cause i didn't want to hurt anyone. The cool off worked for a week & pow! Back to square one. In your situation I'd be straight up with her. If she's a true friend, nothing you say will hurt her. It will help her understand the situation from another view point. Good luck!! :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yeah it makes me feel really bad actually BC I'm always answering posts no matter what the question is.. I've even looked things up  so I could give them an answer. Its not right..and most of the "popular" people have already had their babies or are about too.. it makes no sense. I feel like most people dont even read my posts. At least I'm not alone...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I totally feel you. It's like no one answers unless your one of "popular " girls.
Helpful - 0
2

You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy: Social Community

Popular Resources
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.