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Pregnancy: Social Community
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10990705 tn?1416788222

things parents sayy..

I feel very uncomfortable with parents telling their sons "stop crying like a girl you're not a girl you're a boy and boys don't cry." I think its very cruel thing to say to such a young boy..
6 Responses
973741 tn?1342342773
Well, every parent has different philosophies and kids grow up fine.  

Now, I have a son that cried very easily.  As he got older, I nipped that in the bud because it does become socially unacceptable for kids to cry.  And raising boys, they are rough and tumble and they honestly can not cry at every little scratch.  They do need to learn to tough it out a bit.  That's my opinion.

But I wouldn't belittle my children in teaching them that.  I would rather guide them with rules.  Now my oldest has a friend that never was taught this and the boy cries over EVERYTHING to the point that my son doesn't like to play with him and I consider him to be high maintenance in the play date area.  

So, while it isn't inappropriate to say 'quit crying like a girl" in my opinion, it's just my opinion.  And most parents have good intentions even when they go about it in a way different than how I'd handle it.  :>)

It gets harder and harder to navigate this stuff as kids grow older.  
Avatar universal
I agree with specialmom. It's difficult to walk that line between teaching them not to cry about everything, (such as not getting their way or when they trip over their own two feet on soft surfaces) and making them think it's wrong to cry in general.  Every parent does it differently.  
10990705 tn?1416788222
I believe boys AND girls shouldn't cry over everything. But boys have feelings and they will cry, now I understand if both sex's cry over absolutely everything you just gotta do something but dont belittle one sex over the other I dont appreciate the "like a girl" make girls seem weak and girls are not. When I hear that it just says its ok for girls to cry over everything and boys cant cause it'll make them look weak and that they are girls if they do. This is my opinion when I hear that :/
Avatar universal
Agree with pixie. While I think both boys and girls need to learn that you don't need to cry over everything, I despise the phrase "like a girl"  as it insinuates girls are fragile, weak and incapable of controlling their emotions.
Avatar universal
Then you would hate me! To me it's not a belittling statement because it's when he's fake crying so it's more a joke. But every parent has their ways. He usually stops and laughs with I'm not a girl mommy I'm a boy. So it's all about the delivery of the statement.
Avatar universal
I think it's mean if your being mean about it but I agree w allyrae,  if you and your child can giggle about it depending on the situation and how you say it then I see no cruelness in it.
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