I'm so confused and hurt please help!! :(

[army_mommy_to_be]

Hi I am 26 weeks pregnant and been married for almost a year and been with my husband for almost 2. He is 19 almost 20 and I'm 18 almost 19. I have to rant because I just I don't know what else to do. We have gone through so much in this little time I got kicked out of my house and we started at point 0. Now we are expecting and my husband is graduating his second training(AIT) for the Army we are maybe 2 weeks away from moving to our very first duty station and today was a good day until right before he said good night. Before he left to training he was mean go me all the time always. Now he's nicer most of the time, not always but definitely way better than before. Before he left he talked to his ex gf (also in the military) and I u know at first I was okay with it, but after once or twice of them talking I was no longer okay with it because he would reply and talk to her and he wouldn't text or reply to me. And so when I try to mention it he would yell at me say if I didn't like it I could leave. And not only that he would say things he shouldn't say. I don't find it 100% fair that I don't talk to any of my exs for many reason, he dosnt want me to and I don't want to but when it comes to her "because she's in the Army" makes him think it's okay. Every time I try to bring it up he gets offensive and yells. Now today was a good day and he puts something on Facebook about his new unit and of course she commented on it and then she messages him saying "hey you" and u know I didn't even say anything anymore. I just I don't know what else to do! :( because I feel like no matter what I say its never gonna change. He yells or gets mad at me when I bring her up. Please I need help because I just I don't know what else to say or do with this.

[Sxl0072412]

I'm totally with everyone else on this.
My BD & I first got together it took one time for me to catch a girl text him for me to grab my stuff and leave(yes pregnant at the time). A week later he looked and looked for me & I didn't accept him back til he understood I was clear on what my definitions of loyalty honesty and respect were. The text wasn't even bad but still I drew the line no friendships with opposite gender if it wasn't necessary or BOTH our friends.
Anywho went back and it's never happens again, basically I let him know if anything is worth more than keeping your family together. we are now expecting our second baby!
Best of luck my advice is what you allow now is what will continue years later.

[Dilani_Jose]

If you have a place to stay, say you will leave, and be by yourself and see if he really cares. Ignore him, don't message him back. Do the same he did to you to him. Talk to your parents, i'm sure they'll understand and take you back in, just talk don't argue with them. If he doesn't find out why and doesn't care, then he isn't worth the hurt.

[Jattibee]

You both are still very young. Keeping that in mind, most people your ages are still out partying and sleeping with multiple partners. Also remember that men mature later than women, and your husband isn't exempt. That is no excuse for him to treat you the way he does. Just because they are both in the army doesn't mean it's ok, just like he wouldn't think it would be ok for you to talk to your ex because you went to the same high school.YOU are going to be the mother of his child - not her. YOU are his WIFE- NOT HER. He should be giving you the time and respect he gives her. Keep your head up girl, there's no reason for you to feel like you're thinking too much about it because it would bother any woman who cares about her marriage and it's a valid concern. Be strong for your baby because you both are connected by blood, not just by marriage! Also, for him to give you the option to leave suggests that he considers a life without you. I know it hurts to hear, but you should have a plan for just in case.

[christianw5]

In my experience, I was married and with my ex for 13 years. His exwife started becoming interested again. She found every excuse to talk to him or stop over when I wasn't home. He denied anything going on. He called me insecure and hateful towards her. Turned out they were cheating for a few months while both denying it. She finally needed a place to live and I got the boot.  Not only that but they ridiculed me and said it was all my fault. He claims I drove him to her by not wanting them talking so much then told her I was controlling and abusive so she thought she was saving him from me. Its better to walk away if he is not respecting you.  If he isn't while you are pregnant with his child, then most likely he never will.

[Pray4me2015]

You may want to look into counseling. You two have barely hit your adult status and you are already parents and spouses. Those sudden changes can sometimes put a great strain on a relationship and cause one to have a 'grass is greener on the other side' view. That view may be what he sees in the ex who is without child or spouse. It may be that he sees her as an outlet. Either way, he will soon have to make more changes and so will you. Talking with an experienced professional should help

[Flickan]

Look into counseling for both of you. There is a maturity that needs to happen on his part that will take Waaay too long without.  

[teenmom1998]

I think something is going on why would he be so defensive and not wanting to stop talking to her. That's how my babys father was over fb talking to girls and he would defende and get all mad but once I found out I broke down crying and packing right in front of him and I was saying so those .50 cent whoress r what you want then go ahead I'm tierd of being hurt I'll find a guy that would never hurt me. I made sure I looked my best did my hair nails and makeup so he can know what he's gonna miss I had him begging on his knees crying and saying srry hell never do it again.. Guys r always gonna be assholess yuh just gotta know how to play along and flip everything I had no where to go my family kicked me out I would have taken all my things to my cousins house and start talking to my parents I had no plain but I was willing to go thru with it because I was tierd of crying

[deronnamom]

Just found out my husband cheated on me Iam a army wife as well 38 weeks pregnant

[Ole6mama]

I wld ask him wld he have a problem if I talked to or confined in 1 of my exes that made me feel comfortable especially every time he yelled at me also the niceness can be that he now knows u are going to hold majority of that 1st & 15th pay baby being the wife and mother I hope u know that u pose to see your share b4 he sees his so that ex thatsbin the army to probably put him up on speed bt that so therefore he's probably going to be nice just enuff to keep u smiling is be careful and smart u now have a little one to think about as well plus verbally n mentally abuse is just as bad as physically abuse and can cause a miscarriage so if he continue to yell n get angry I wld threaten or just go do it talk to his 1st Sergant and have him take anger management class no baby needs to come in this world to that!

[bbydaisygrl]

He should hear you out and respect you enough to listen & understand that it bothers you and you're not ok with it. Ask him to think about if the tables were turned. How would He feel... I def wouldn't be ok with that. Esp if he replied to her but not me. You shouldn't have to feel that way at all. He should make sure of that. Just my opinion.