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Avatar universal

2nd pregnancy, too soon?

I'm 19 yrs old have been married a year, have a 4 month old son (yes I know i should've waited) my worry isn't so much having anyone baby so soon, but during my first pregnancy my husband wasn't much of an attentive guy towards me even though it was little things like not running to the store or restaurant when I had cravings, not rubbing my feet through the whole pregnancy and not buying me flowers or anything cute after giving birth, I feel like i still have resentment towards him and am scared about how things will be especially since it will be tough with a toddler on my hip. Might be tmi maybe just needed to vent..
6 Responses
Avatar universal
Have you tried to talk to your husband about this?
1 Comments
I try but honestly get so upset because he just laughs it off and says he's not the romantic type and brushes it off, which in turn makes me mad and I just bottle everything up and do everything myself
10720243 tn?1415582269
Try talking to him.
My bf wasn't as attentive as the movies.
Aka feet rubbing. Back rubbing, running to store for sweets etc etc
But this pregnancy he's done a 180. He'll rub my back (tho he's not the greatest I'll admit) and is constantly satisfying my cravings (which isn't always good lmao)
3 Comments
How did you talk to him though? Like how did you bring it up? Luckily your bf completely switched though!
You just sit him down and talk. You tell him that you really appreciate everything he does but sometimes you wish he was more attentive to your needs.
Thank you that really helps! I'm gonna try it out once I calm my nerves lol thanks again!
Avatar universal
While my husband has always went above and beyond,  pregnancy or not, there is still some areas I find... idk may need a closer look

We have been together for 8 years & married for 6. So he pretty much just knows me.

Our issues are more along the lines of... him leaving his dirty cloths on the floor, or not clearing up his dinner plate, I asked him about the issues and he trys he really does. But idk men are so one tract minded I should say? Lol

But he's your mate. You both must find away to meet half way.  Perhaps doing something special for him as well? They need just like we do,  they are just to "manly " to bring up their needs and wants
Avatar universal
I never got anything like this off my partner during my first pregnancy or this one. I've always believed the perfect man who runs to get your food your craving or who sits and rubs your feet is just made up and appears in movies. Yes I am carrying his child and yes it is hard work but he still goes to work everyday to provide for me and my family and that's enough for me. Just because he doesn't go out of his way to do all them things doesn't mean he don't love or care about you  
3 Comments
I can see where you're coming from and honestly its made me so independant with my son and this pregnancy. I no longer expect anything from him, but I think after a long day of work (for both of us) having to come home, cook, clean, tend to my son & husband, etc. I wouldn't think that asking for him to run to sonic and getting me a slushie is too much..
Maybe if he helped out with the cleaning, cooking etc instead? Then he doesn't have to leave the house therefore cant complain about that and you get a few less jobs to do?
Yeah i think now that I'm super fatigued and he can see that i can't keep up with all the household stuff he helps out with little things here and there and its honestly the little things that make a big difference !
Avatar universal
Some guys aren't just the type to go above and beyond. I'm 19 too, my bf is 21. it's my 2nd pregnancy and this time around I noticed he's less attentive too...it's kinda like he's used to me being pregnant so he kinda knows what goes on. But I understand your point because even tho my bf would go and get my cravings he wouldn't go near my feet, rub my back nor would he buy me cute things unless I "mentioned" something..but after 3yrs I got used to the way he is.
4 Comments
Maybe its just something about these guys in their 20's lol..Guess I can't complain though because at the end of the day this is guy i love, but it'd be nice to get a little suprirse here and there
I agree lol mine isn't the type to randomly bring me flowers or anything. He'll maybe bring me like a chocolate bar or something but not the kind I would be craving at the moment lol ..how old is yours?
Ugh same ha if it's not christmas, Valentine's day, or my birthday I shouldn't expect flowers so I'm used to it lol and hes 24
Yesss!..Same here -_- lol
Avatar universal
Like everyone else said sit down and have a heart to heart talk let him know how your feeling. Im 17 just had baby #2 on the 17th. With my first my boyfriend would spoil me get me everything i craved rubbed my feet, anything i asked for he got me. Now with my second it was way different its kinda hard doing alot with a two year old running around. He still got me what i wanted but wasnt really with me all the time. He work really hard just comes home eats and sleeps. I finally told me how i was feeling and talked to him. Just do the same girl hopefully things will work out good luck and congrats
1 Comments
Yeah same here like you said he pretty much just works eats and sleeps Monday through Saturday but I know i need to at least express how I'm feeling or else I'll end up resenting him for something I never told him to fix
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