I was the same way, at one point I thought I wasn't going to be able to do it. But they say looking at videos is not a good idea, but it was for me it helped
My husband and i are taking birthing classes at our hospital. Ive watched tons of births online. I was freaking out soooo bad in the begining but after watching the videos, going to class and taking a tour of the maternity ward in my hospital, i was able to let go of the fear and focus on my health. My dr told me if you are terrified going into labor your body will produce adrenaline and stop your bodys natural petocine and slow down labor. So try to relax and focus on other aspects of your birth. Also look into hypnobabies its a class that trains your mind to think of labor as presure not pain. And watch some videos of it. It will help!