Babies are so unpredictable. Just play it by ear. My husband's brother got married a couple of weeks ago and we were there for 8 HOURS because my husband sang in the wedding and my oldest was a flower girl so we had to be there early for pictures and late to see the couple off.
Anyway our experience was just fine. Zoë fell asleep on my shoulder for several little cat naps and I used a nursing mother room in the church to feed her in quiet or if she needed to fuss a little.
She delayed her fussy, unhappy baby time until we got home. Then she let us have it. But at the actual wedding she was just fine and distracted by everyone and all the colors.
Well, when my dd was 7 weeks old we drove to my BIL's wedding about 12 hours away. My son was 2.5 at the time. My DS and DH were in the wedding. My in-laws were not in the wedding and said they would help with the baby. Ya, right, that never happened. So it was me and two kids (my DD had horrible reflux and was an overall fussy baby, still is at almost 2). At the ceremony, I had to help DS get in the wagon and convince him to sit, and then sneak around and meet him on the other side. I actually wore my DD the entire ceremony in a Moby Wrap. She slept some and cried some. After I got him out of the wagon, my in-laws were supposed to take him, but they didn't. So I ended up standing at the back holding both of them watching the wedding.
The reception was horrible too. My kids were great. There ceremony started at 5PM and reception followed. We finally decided to leave around 10PM and were told, that we were being rude to leave so soon. I too exclusively BF my kids so it wasn't like we could leave them either and with DH ad DS in the wedding we were supposed to be there and be apart of so much.
It was a headache. If we had to do it over again, we wouldn't! However I think if you have some understanding friends/family it could be a wonderful event. The only thing that saved my dd was wearing her the entire time. My DS loved the lights and music of the reception. The other thing to think about is food for your 3.5 year old. There was nothing my son liked or would eat at the reception, so he ended up being a cranky hungry mess. Good luck, on one hand I wanted my kids to be apart of this special event, but it wasn't worth all the hassle.
Oh yes....they were invited. Otherwise we wouldn't be going.....mostly because I'm exclusively breastfeeding and therefore can't leave my baby for any length of time. I know that there will be other kids at the wedding.
We invited kids to our wedding and found that people who lived locally (friends - all of our family lives OOT) didn't bring their kids....whereas our family did. We held our wedding reception at a hotel, though, and so the families who did bring kids just stayed there....and the parents would take turns staying with them so that they could each still go down to the party and enjoy themselves. We don't have that option in this case, however, since the wedding reception is at a venue with no accomodations on site, and no hotels nearby.
were your kids invited to the wedding? some people dont invite any kids (like i did) because they dont want all the distraction and crying, etc. if they invited your kids im sure there will be others there too and they might not be as concerned. i think the biggest thing is during the ceremony, so it is probably a good idea to have your hubby stay at the hotel with them. as for the reception there will most likely be a lot of music playing and excitment so the kids should be disturbing anyone. if they are getting too cranky, you or/and your hubby will simply have to go if its not fun for you anymore. do you have grandparents, family etc that you can leave them with for the weekend? then you wouldnt have to worry about them and you can both just enjoy yourselves :)
i used to cater weddings and babies would always seem amused by all the people and music....maybe your son wont be as fussy....plus you'll have family around which is a nice break so you can enjoy your dinner
maybe im just queen of wishful thinking but i hope everything turns out well in your case...its tough with an out of town wedding and having kids there...
best of luck to you....hopefully things go smooth