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179530 tn?1368940203

Another long question for my wise friends on medhelp. This means a lot to me.

My husband and I got married August 9th, 2008. We bought our house September 11, 2008; we conceived in the beginning of November and are expecting a baby girl August 9th 2009 (Our first wedding anniversary)
We bought a house out in the country for seclusion. The only place nearby is DIRECTLY across our highway. When we bought the house we were told that it was an old retired veteran’s home. I thought that was a good thing. I had no reason to doubt anyone when we were closing on our house, since the people I bought the home from are my friend from church’s children. A really nice young couple and I’m very close to the daughters mother. After just a week of living in our home, we had weird notes placed under our windshield wipers, stuck in our mailbox, taped to our front door, and NAILED TO THE RAILROAD that goes through our back yard!!! I thought it was annoying and kind of creepy but nothing to worry about. (WABBASH is what one of the notes said and had a Jewish star drawn on the paper) Every single time I go out to check my mail one of the residents there yells “hello Mandy!” They all know my husbands’ and my name… The only life they have outside of this residential home is US! When we are outside doing yard work, they pull lawn chairs DIRECTLY to the edge of the highway to WATCH US.
Okay, so when we found out we were having a baby I decided to make sure that when my child is outside playing or waiting for the school bus (thinking ahead) I wouldn’t have to worry about any sexual offenders passing by our home on the highway… I did the search on Missouri Hwy Patrol site and found out that there are 4 sexual predators (all of whom had children as their victims), none of which would be passing by, THEY ARE ALL LIVING ACROSS THE STREET FROM US!!!  I am so scared now and my husband just started working night shifts about a month ago.
Moving is not an option, everyone knows how the housing market in the United States is right now. I cannot sell my home. I don’t even think it would sell considering the kind of criminals that live across the highway less than 100 ft from my home.  Plus, I have my nursery ready, I am due in less than 50 days.  This is not an option.
The only action I have taken so far is to call the residential home and let them know they need to keep their residents on that property. I know they can’t because I recognized one of the residents about a half mile down the highway when I was heading to work in town. He was face down in the grass of our closest neighbor’s yard with two caregivers/aids surrounding him. I told my husband about it and on his way home the police were there assisting the caregivers.

Does anyone know what I can do legally to get these sexual predators away from our home? If we can’t make them go away, does anyone know of any Missouri laws that will make the residential home get the security (which they obviously don’t have now) to keep these people out of society? I am so scared at night. I am going to be even more terrified when my baby arrives very shortly, because I know that’s what they want, they are child predators. It’s disgusting. I want them gone! What would you do if your children were sleeping that close to these people? Does anyone know anything I can do?

This isn't exactly a health question, but you ladies have never let me down before. You are all full of wisdom & a lot of you are my friends. So yet again, I am asking for your advice.
19 Responses
202436 tn?1326477933
First of all, in order to try and find more info for you, I need to know more...and you can pm me if you prefer...exactly what kind of residential home is it...is it a transitional home, a mental - type institution, rehab facility or nursing home type?  What city/county in Missouri...sometimes city/county laws vary from state laws.  

Aside from that...I would put up no trespassing signs around the perimeter of your property. Most states can't/won't do squat about trespassers unless it's posted no trespassing.  Once you have done that, if you continue to find notes...call the police...EVERY time you find one....they may get thoroughly annoyed...but you want documentation.  TAKE PICTURES before you touch them.  Ask for copies of the police reports EACH time you have them come.  If you ever find one of those residents on your property immediately file for a temp protective order and go to court to get a permanent one.  Print off any documentation form the highway patrol website showing WHO the sexual offenders are.  PM me with the info I asked for above and i'll see what else I can find for you.  I would also consider a trained gaurd dog if you dn't have one.  
870652 tn?1260323036
    I have 2 beautiful boys and I definately would try selling even though the market is bad.It won't hurt to put it on the market even if it doesn't sell.At least you tried.  And as a last resort you could always put the house up for rent so that you will have the $ to pay the mortgage.We had to do this with our 1st home after we moved into the new home that we built. So far it is working out good for us. Thank God.
    In the meantime, I would definately get an alarm system installed. Making sure that you get all windows and doors connected.  I have one now and sometimes I even use it duringe the day.The trespassing sign is a great idea because I have heard the same thing. A fence would help deter them from getting on your property.You should call the police about the notes and your concerns about the people accross the street !!! Don't touch the notes so that they can take fingerprints. You can always ask the police to do this. Taking pictures are good and if you do have to remove them yourself,use gloves!! I am truly sorry that you are in this situation. I would definately be freaking out also!
Avatar universal
if you don't want to sell the house....build a fence. not a chain link fence but one of those 6 ft high wooden fences with a 6 ft high gate that locks...from the inside. and even the outside.

i know how you feel about sexual predators. no matter where you go here in pa there is a sexual predator. in the quiet town that my mom lives in (my sil, brother and nephew live less than a mile from her) there are TWO sexual predators! a small town of MAYBE 5,000. MAYBE. if they're lucky. 1 lives 2 miles away and the other is my sil's parents NEIGHBOR!!! lives RIGHT next door. where i live....silly me didn't look until after we moved..there are SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 live in our town house complex...which has TONS of kids. makes me sick knowing that men (and women) can do such awful things to children! WHY would anybody want to hurt a child like that? seriously why? needless to say my boys are NEVER out of my sight. not even for a moment! and all our doors and windows get locked every night. (except the windows in our bedrooms but the bedrooms are on the second floor so we're not too worried) of course it does help having a marine in the house. who needs a gun when you have a trained weapon living with you? lol.
715930 tn?1338726036
I'll leave the advice to others and just say,  I am very sorry you have to deal with this at this otherwise happy time, and wish you good luck.

Avatar universal
Im not sure that you can do much unless you have actually been threatened by these people but I agree that maybe a no trespassing sign and even a fence (if you can afford one) might help.  If you have a no trespassing sign and people are coming onto your land then you may have some legal recourse  (Im not sure on this though - check w/ your local sheriff or police station).  Im sure the notes are being placed on your property at predictable times (after dark etc) so you may be able to set up a cheap video camera to document this.  
730826 tn?1317946934
I have to say first that your first wedding anniversary, is the day Im getting married! Unfortunately, my husband will miss our first year anniversary as he will be fighting in afghanistan.

As for your neighbour issue. I dont know about the laws in your area but if you are really worried, you might be able to get a restraining order. But really, what does that do? They are criminals, they have broken the law before, a restraining order wont do much other than if anything happens they will get a bigger punishment. Another thing you can do to protect your family is put up a tall fence with a locked gate. Being a victim of sexual abuse at the age of 1 or 2 ish, I have learned that in other cases (as well as my own) sexual abuse is most commonly done my family members.
Maybe get a good guard dog that will protect your family. Like a shepard maybe.
823825 tn?1265075031
wow what i would do is change everything asap go to your family member n stay till the baby is born n when u get better n deal with that house later talk to ur husband bout it but if there no way to change every thing quickly then i agree with buying a guard dog or fence but both is good ur almost having a baby u shouldnt be worry to much or stress or think to much i will pray for u
349463 tn?1333575176
Maybe you can check into the sex offenders that live there if they are banned from being a certian number of feet or yards from a child they might have to move. Aside from that I would invest in an alarm system and possibly a dog. That's scarry, but remember as a first time mom you won't be letting that baby out of your sight anyways so nothing will happen under your watch.
202436 tn?1326477933
one poster mentioned that they may not be able to do anything becuase you aren't being "threatened" however many states have laws against stalking and harrasment and depending on what is involved it could be considered either of those.
Avatar universal
I live in Missouri but I'm not sure about any specific laws.

What you CAN do is call the local authorities (call the non-emergency line) or go to the sheriff's department to speak with someone about what to do. Leaving notes ON YOUR PROPERTY is harassment. So you could file an harassment charge. Sitting and watching your property is considered stalking as well.

What kind of facilities are across the street? Do they treat the elderly, veterans, mentally ill?

They probably cannot make those people "move" per se but the cops could definitely speak with the aids and whoever is in charge to keep an eye out on their charges. Personally I think the facilities across the street should build their own fence and lock their residents in to keep themselves and others safe.

In the meantime I would definitely build a fence. There'll be sexual predators wherever you go, unfortunately. I was saddened and paranoid to find one next door who had a preference for children my daughters' ages. The landlord kicked him out, thank goodness.
202436 tn?1326477933
It's scary, but they ARE everywhere.  I found out I was going to church with one awhile back.  I make it a habit to check the sex offenders registry every few months....both for work purposes and personal.  I found him on there and it said "child molestation".  I was really upset becuase this guy had talked to my kids and actually played with them.  No one ever came out and said he was but they always referred to his past mistakes and that he was starting over with a clean slate and had realized his sins and been reborn.  It still made me watch him like a hawk though!
Avatar universal
i'm all for the forgiving of sins and being reborn (i'm a born again christian) but from what i understand that experts say is that even though a sexual predator claims to be "cured" s/he isn't. they never can be "cured". they'll ALWAYS have that urge to well you know. i would watch him like a hawk too.
202436 tn?1326477933
yeah...that church was a little off to me, we no longer go there.  They wouldnt participate in local events regasrdless of what it was becuase, i forgot how they said it, but basically they didn't want to be around unsaved people.  Yet they always preached about spreading the word and would go door to door.  They were creepy too.
317217 tn?1456290378
yeah i know what you mean. Things are diffrent here in the UK we cant see a sex offenders register, But i know that theres actually 2 offenders living in the flat directly next to a park near me. In fact thier windows face the park. Stupid place if you ask me. But needless to say noone takes their kids there.
Its wrong. All we want to do is bring our children up safe from harm, but these days we can't even to that!
It actually Pi$$es me off that they let these people go and live practically anywhere they want.
Avatar universal
I'm a Christian, too, and I commend the man for trying to make his life right. But you're right to protect your children. It's hard not to judge people when you know what they've done and how it could harm you if they made another mistake.
730826 tn?1317946934
I like the idea of, "if your a sex offender, you should have to have a big sign on your lawn saying you are a sex offender. You shoudl also have to have it tattooed on your forehead."
As far as I'm concerned, you broke the law, the law shouldnt give you rights after that. Its your own fault.
179530 tn?1368940203

heatherlynn22, the fence idea is good. I was considering that. It ***** I have to block the view of my home to get away from the ugly nasties, but I'll do whatever it takes, and whatever I can. $ Money could be the only issue, I took an early medical leave from work due to a car accident, kidney stones, and a complicated pregnancy, and my poor husband is having to take on all the financial responsibilities on his own.
Lmc2132, Thanks for wishing luck.
NicMom I am going to find out if any of them are banned from being so many feet away from children like you suggested.
JoyRenee, Thank you.  I will definitely contact the Sheriffs’ Dept and find out what I can do.
Lucey12, congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
LosingMyMindGA, Good thinking trusting your motherly instincts, if you didn’t have right feelings about that church, you probably were not in the right one (hope you found a good church to go to since then)
Nutz19, Let’s just find out if we can get them all shipped to a secluded island. Haha It will be better for all of us.
Lucey12, I liked your idea too, instead of the island thing, we could just see about getting it legalized to post signs in their yard & tattoo their forehead “SEX OFFENDER”
Xxswtvi3gurlxx, thank you for the prayers.
Spade22, The video camera idea is something to look into. I’m not sure I could run full time surveillance but I do know they have these fake cameras that would deter anyone from breaking in or coming on the lawn. (they are motion censored and really cheap)
Selaiwa, I will have to look into alarm systems, selling or renting would not even come up as an option, especially for my husband unfortunately. I wish I would’ve done as you mentioned about saving the notes (without fingerprinting them) and giving them to the police. I had given them back to the facility after asking ever so nicely if they could keep their dirt bags on their property. I wish I would’ve given them to the police, but next time I WILL. : ) Thanks.

You ladies never let me down. Thank you all so much for sharing.
287246 tn?1318573663
I haven't read every post.  Just kind of skimmed so I'm sorry if I am repeating anything.  I would get some sort of camera.  I know times are tough fiancially, but I would really try.  Your safety and that of your family is the most thing.  I think the cameras would be a good idea even if just for a little while, so that if anyone does come in your yard, you can see exactly who it is.  Also maybe get the lights that are sensored by motion so if anyone walks in your yard, a light will come on.

Geez, this is just awful!!!  I cannot even imagine!!!  I am so sorry you are going through this.  And your house looks just beautiful...
179530 tn?1368940203
Sensored lights! That's an idea! Thank you.
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