Baby shower with 2nd child?

[modesta96]

Is it true that you should not have a baby shower for the second child? I have a 2 year old girl and I recently gave birth to a 28 gestational age week old son. I was told that it was aganist the "rules" to have a shower fo your second child. Is this true? We have absolutly nothing for  our son since he was so early we didnt get to prepare. He is still in the hospital and probably wont be home for a nother month or longer. Can I just throw myself I don't want to ask and nobody has offered. I really want one b/c he really needs things and we can not provide them ourself. What do you think?

[1st]

My friend asked me to throw her a baby shower for her number two (about the same age difference as your two).  I was fine with it.  We had a really nice shower, and did an art project where we decorated onesies.  I pooled in with a bunch of the other attendees, and we all surprised her with a double stroller for the new baby to use with the first baby.  I also threw her the first shower she had a few years back.  I don't see anything wrong with having another shower.  I would, maybe, ask a friend if they could throw it for you (a close friend or relative who won't feel put out).  I think it's probably a good idea to list it as presents optional.  I went to a shower for a friend who was on her 6th baby, so I think number two is still fine!
-1st

[gokuangel]

I dont think they are bad! I just dont think you should throw it urself as some1 said its kinda tacky and to me its being greedy like hey come to my party give me gifts BUT if some1 offers to do it or as some are saying get a friend to host then i think that would be great!! I also love the welcome party that sounds very good too!

[bryanarae]

I am having a baby shower for my 2nd. It's next saturday actually! My son will be 3 1/2 when this baby is due. My girlfriend is throwing my husband and I a co-ed baby shower. If you feel weird having a baby shower, you could always have a "meet & greet" for the baby, but I suppose that would be a little late to recieve the things you need... I would say go for it! I think it's kinda dumb that there is a "rule" about baby showers after the 1st baby. Each baby is special and unique and could use their own things.

[kikicoates78]

I say it's still a new baby! AND it's a boy, This is my 3rd, but my boys are 14, and 9. AND this one is a girl, but nobody even questioned, I had a huge shower, well it is my DH's first.

I think it is old fashioned to think it is taboo. I say talk to a freind and see if they are willing to host, or I think somthing like a BBQ at your house to shower baby is a good idea, make it kinda CO-ED. A welcome baby party. Surely people would bring gifts. Good luck to you and your precious little man!

[heatherlynn22]

well....since my boys were twins...lol we only had one shower. but i know with my mom my aunts threw her one when she was pregnant with me (from the pictures i've seen and stories i've heard it was a HUGE shower) and they had a smaller less elaborate one when she was pregnant with my brother 3 1/2 years later. i agree with some of the other ladies no reason to not have one. this is another addition to your family...celebrate him!!!! plus....all you have is girly stuff...no you need rough and ruged boy stuff!!! lol. plus baby showers are fun. do it...have another one!!! forget the "rules".

[pookie1121]

Dont most people who come visit you in the hospital or at home for the first time after your birth bring something for your son anyways?  I just went to a friends house the other day who has a girl 21 months old and just had a son and of course i didnt visit for the first time empty handed.  I agree with the others, throwing it yourself is against etiquette and is a bit tacky....but don't you have family that you could hint to?!?!?!  

I have a daughter who is 21 months old and I am pregnant with twin girls, so unlike you, I definately dont need any clothes or anything really for the newborn girls (ok if they come early I would need a few premie outfits, but I can get that myself or Grandma surely will).  If one of my friends throws me a shower, then I would suggest instead of gifts, they bring food or games or something. To be honest, I really do want one for this birth too - because only b/c I do like the idea of having a pre-baby party :)  Fun baby games and girls together and photos for the baby book is really what I want!!!

[Kimberlee_20]

I like the idea of throwing a shower for the baby, like a welcome home shower, or celebrating the baby, I would bring a gift to a shower like that, and I'd assume your friends and family would as well. That way it wouldn't be "awful" that you threw the party yourself. Good luck! :]

[gokuangel]

If you guys need pampers you could consider doing what my DH's family does, the guys throw the pamper shower! They have to bring a box of pampers and a 6 pk and they  drink and have fun you know play pool play cards and hey the baby gets TONS and i mean TONS of diapers!! Not every1 may be into drinking but most men like to have a "guys" nite out and this gives them a reason and they get to help too!

[Griggsy]

I totally agree with baby showers! Throwing yourself one is bit funny, it's like sending yourself flowers at work, but someone else giving you one isn't bad.

I was surprised to see how many said that it's a no, no or that they had never heard of a second shower.

If people want to give you one then do it. I throw my sisters baby showers for each baby. They may not be as big as they were with the first, but we always have a great time. Sometimes we give the mom a gift for the mom as a well done, pregnancy is hard, here's a gift certificate to get a pedicure, or a do something for yourself gift. That's just my family though. I guess we just don't have the  proper etiquette. Oh well, we love doing it for each other!

[mamaof6]

I am preggo with my 7th. My family is big into baby showers, etc., so I have had one with all of them. Its mainly family though. I just had one last weekend from my side of the family adn next weekend, my b/f's mom is throwing one for her side. (this is her first grandchild)  I personally see nothing wrong with having a shower for each child. Like Joy said, its a celebration of your new baby :)

[chantal21]

I don't think there is any problem with having a second shower. Personally,  I wouldn't throw one for myself (I'm just not that way and I'm too shy) Even though the "rules" say no, I don't see why you can't have one though. Even if it's just family and close friends, I'd say go for it! My church throws a baby shower for every baby you have, whether it's your first or your 6th. I'm sure the pastor's wife is already planning something for this baby I am going to have, she LOVES throwing showers and organzing parties...I guess it's just her thing. Hubby and I have to purchase some big items, like a double stroller and a glider (forgot to get it when I had my son) and a co-sleeper (we gave ours to my in-laws and will just purchase a new one for baby). But I could still use diapers, clothes, and odds and ends. It's just a time when family and friends can come together and celebrate the arrival of your baby! It's such a special time and I never follow the rules when it comes to a new baby! A lady at our church  had her 4th baby and they still threw her a shower. Do what you are comfortable with! =)

[Mrs_Fergie]

There is ABSOLUTLY no reason why you should'nt have a shower for your son.  The point of a baby shower is so your friends and family can celebrate and welcome your new addition. I am pregnant with my third baby and My shower is in two weeks. I had a baby shower for all three. I haven't had a baby in 6 years but the age difference between my first two is 3 years. I say go for it and have fun. Your son desearves to be welcomed by everyone. Good luck

[tellytatum]

I am pregnant with my 3rd child...and just had a baby feb of last year..no one offered to throw me another baby shower.. which i was not expecting although people keep asking us if we are going to have one... they did throw me one for my second since my kids were about 4 years apart and my first was a boy and my second was a girl. i did give away all of my daughters clothing..and have no clothing at al for this new baby..i've been trying to buy a little here and there..and still need diapers too..i asked my husband what should we do..we both agreed to go ahead and register at babies r us..and when the baby comes we will have announcements made for the baby and when we send them the announcements we will send along the cards showing that we are registered somewhere for whoever would like to get the baby something...it's just an idea..and it gives them a choice..they really dont have to..but like i said..i had some people ask if we were going to have a shower..so those who wanted to get us something could if they like when they get the announcements.....

[nsrchofbaby]

I personally feel that it would be more appropriate to take the route NicMom did and just kind of ask around to see if anyone has anything they are willing to give you. Asking people to buy a new set of everything for a shower so soon after baby #1 may seem a little odd to anyone who attended the first shower. You should only really need diapers, clothes, and other small things for the new baby as most things you would receive at a baby shower are "luxury" items, not must-haves. I hope your son is doing well and gets to go home soon. Take care.

[gokuangel]

my SIL threw herself one for her 2nd another girl and the girls are just 22 months apart!! Personally i thought it was very rude and unnessary considering she already had everything she needed all she got for gifts was a few clothes items!!
I do understand you point though your kids are different sex so if there really is something you are missing i would probably say go ahead and have one!

[JoyRenee]

It is a no-no to throw one yourself. But I like the idea of emailing friends with babies and asking to have/borrow baby stuff they don't need right at this time. They should be understanding!

As far as our family goes- we have a baby shower with each baby. Each baby deserves to be celebrate. Of course the 2nd shower and subsequent showers are NOT as elaborate as the first whatsoever. Usually just small gifts or things Momma doesn't have from previous child (especially if a different gender).

Yard sales are coming up, too. I LOVE neighborhood/city-wide sales because you stand great chances of finding what you need at good prices.

[justice6920]

I did have a baby shower with my second BUT they are ten years apart and this one was a boy and my first was a girl! I havent really heard of anyone having one for their second when they are close together... BUT heck if you need the stuff do it! No harm in trying

[hope_peace]

My SIL is having her second baby, and we are having a party for her, and on the invite we wrote something like if you would like to bring something for the mother or baby feel free to, but not obligation. That way people don't feel forced to have to get you something, but some people might. My mom is throwing it for her, so maybe talk to someone in your family about throwing a welcome home baby party.

[Latrice414]

Well this is how i feel, my cousin son will be too in july, and she is due august, and she is having a baby shower, im only bringing a box of diapers, bcuz she should still have a lot of the things i bought and others bought, I bought her a highchair, playpen, walker, a potty and some little nic nacks. Im sorry, i cant afford to keep supplyn her with items for every baby she has, and the set was a matchn set and it was not cheap.  She is having a girl and i heard threw the grape vine she wanted pink items for the girl, well be my guess, she can buy her own pink stuff bcuz i wont be getting nothing but diapers.

Do you have any of the items from your daughter.  People may not tell you directly that they dont want to buy items especially if they bought a big gift with your daughter, but you should ask them if they could supply you with items if you dont have the money.

I told my cousin i was only bringing diapers bcuz she should have all that stuff i bought, she did look at me weird like i was saying something wrong, oh well, im even debating if i should go or not.

I had a babyshower with my first son, i gave it myself, and im giving myself this babyshower, people have offered to help pay for it and host if i need them to.  My son will be 14 in july, so thats over a decade since babyshower #1 lol.

One lady on here said she posted  a pic of a highchair and i think walker on craigs list and she said the woman gave it to her for free, I think it was Anita, i thought that was so nice of that lady to give it to her free, try looking around and askn people for items if they dont need them.

You can always give yourself a babyshower, just dont be shocked if you dont get a lot of big gifts, I wish you the best and hope things work out for you.

[sweetangel7]

Technically, etiquette says no...it is especially taboo if you are throwing one for yourself.  Sorry to sound blunt but my Godmother and Grandmother are etiquette FREAKS!  

Perhaps you could just do the same as nicmom...OR there is another girl on here who got almost all of her stuff FREE from Craigslist!!!  her screen name is anitarfrith...you can check out her profile and see all the loot she got from kind, caring, strangers!

Good luck!  AND best wishes to your little one!  Hope he is home sooner than later!

[Sunkissed19]

i agree with hkenny though, invite family and close friends because they should want to celebrate your first son with you so they will understand...you could even make it a welcome baby party....id think most people would bring gifts to that

[Sunkissed19]

yeah, i think thats really old fashioned.  it may not be your first born but it is your first son! so you should have one to celebrate that and just ask for all things "boy"...it would be fun to have your daughter there with you since baby showers are usually girly kinds of events. i can see how going about it might be awkward for you though lol but maybe just make invitation that are like "early baby, late shower". i think showers are for fun and really helpful so id go ahead and have one if you want one!

[rdh1981]

I have never heard of people having a second shower either.  I think if people want to give you a gift then they will do it anyway.

Nicmom, made a good point about mentioning you to your family and friends about needing some items, due to the fact that your little man came a little too soon. But I would not through a shower for myself. Like I said before those who want to give will give whether it be a hand-me-down or brand-spankin-new!!

Congrats on your new little one!

[hkenny]

my personal opinion is that is kinda overkill if you had one for your first child. my friends kids are 18 months apart and i feel like its kinda rude almost to ask people to buy stuff for her again.my sister is having one for her 2nd kid but they are 7 yrs aprt.

However, I say go for it, if you need things you need things and a baby shower is the best way to get them. I would just be choosy about who you invite, family and your close freinds will understand, distant friends may not.