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4530757 tn?1358353386

Bad Mother To Be?!

Im having trouble with the realization of this pregnancy... i mean i know its real i just cant see myself caring for a child of my own and especially not on my own. Ive been really depressed throughout this pregnancy and feel guilty because i want it out so bad. Im ready to give birth and let the father take it, is this normal? Does this make me a bad mother? Im 20 years old, ftm, and 21weeks pregnant.
13 Responses
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4372583 tn?1358902146
its normal to not be ready. I had trouble really grasping motherhood. It didn't really sink in until he'd been home with me a few days. I'm still to the point sometimes that I just want to run away and I'm 22+3 with my second and have a 10 month old son. I think about just leaving, but the moment he goes to grandmas and hubby and I go out for dinner or to shop, I miss him so bad!!

Some women just need to get to know who their child is as a person before they really form an attachment. If it gets worse to the point you think of harming yourself or the baby, seek medical help asap!! Don't wait!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Have u ever had a problem with depression b4? I would say best thing to do is first off, hopefully find a dr you r comfortable talking with cuz depression is hard to admit, then sit down and ask about options. When i was prego with my daughter, i thought about giving her up for adoption every day. I was actually supposed to meet with a family 3 days after i had her but i couldnt do it. I fell  in love with her the sencond i held her. I had gotten pregnant 6 months after i had to give birth to my non living twins, it was so depressing... You need to not worry about what others think & do what u feel is best for u.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I feel this way often. Sometimes I think I'm not cut out to be a mother, but then I realize that everyone probably felt similar. I mean, we have to start somewhere.
Helpful - 0
3143571 tn?1354680877
Yes i def can relate. I just recently turned 21 so i was 20 as well when i first found out. I was in denial for soo long tho i knew i was prego an gonna eventually push out another human but im so used to doing and being by myself. I wasnt in a real relationship an i still cant trust her father to this day and shes due n 2days. Matter of a fact i havnt spoken with him n awhile, he may be "lockd up" honestly. So b glad your childs father is a tually responsible enough to take her if thats wat u gonna do. But just last night a had a really bad dpression spell and jus went for a drive n locked myself n my room afterward bcuz at times im jus not happy with myself i feel guiltu for her bcuz im bringing her in this wrld and im not evn stable,theres no real family foundation with a "mother&father figure", idk i jus feel like a bad parent already! So i def know how u feel. Your not the only one. But all i can do is trust in god bcuz im def not givn her up. Im Gonna give it the Best Shot I Can!!!
Helpful - 0
4565938 tn?1357880653
I'm in the same boat but when you hold your baby for the first time I think your mind will change. It's what I been hoping for.
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4530757 tn?1358353386
Im so lost and confused and my babys father doesnt even want to talk about this baby he said hes petrified and this is his fourth and my first but he takes care of all of his children and does for me he just doesnt help emotionally and im beyond confused on what to do with this baby. My sister said she will adopt our child and when i told him he said nothing but that it was unexpected.
Helpful - 0
4565938 tn?1357880653
Yeah my babies dad literally won't say anything if I mention our son he changes subject n says get abortion then he will take me to court for custody his a bloody moron so now I just don't think I can ever talk to him again he said it only yday n I'm 18w on thurs
Helpful - 0
4530757 tn?1358353386
That is awful.
Helpful - 0
4565938 tn?1357880653
People can suck and his attitude has made this whole experience hard for me but all I can do is wait until little Aiden comes and try my best. I'm sure when your baby comes all the negativity you have felt will vanish.
Helpful - 0
4530757 tn?1358353386
Thats what im hoping for.. thx
Helpful - 0
3143571 tn?1354680877
Yea sounds like were all in the same boat my bbys father has two others and this is my first too. At first he was like get an abortion then later in the pregnancy he strted actn like he cared abit. But hes so selfish and into himself and basically lost in the wrld that that only comes once n a blu moon wen we do speak..... lol i jus hope she doesnt look jus like him so i dnt have to b reminded everyday
Helpful - 0
4530757 tn?1358353386
Lol. Im 21wks and i find out on the 4th whts in there. If its a boy hes gonna be a Jr. and the father picked the girl name too so... plus all his kids look like him different woman and all.
Helpful - 0
4530757 tn?1358353386
Lol. Im 21wks and i find out on the 4th whts in there. If its a boy hes gonna be a Jr. and the father picked the girl name too so... plus all his kids look like him different woman and all.
Helpful - 0
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