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Avatar universal

Daddy so nervous

Both me and my partner have Aspergers, my partner walked away from an abusive relationship with his very controlling father a year ago, his dad had him convinced he was not capable of anything, and he would amount to nothing, because he had aspergers and his dad used his disability to milk benefits for all he could.

Since walking away he has shown people he is far more capable then his dad made out and now we are married and have a beautiful house and he has taken on my 14 nieces and nephews as his own, and they all love him. He is so natural with them, even his social worker has said he will make a great dad.

But now he is going to be a dad, he is so frightened of messing up and having his dad come back and say "I told you so", people are trying to reassure him but that worry will always be there after what he went through.

Can anyone give me some advise about how to help him feel that little bit more confident.
3 Responses
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2180285 tn?1377866731
i would agree just remind him of how he felt with the birth of his first daughter and he will remember and then tell him to double that emotion
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My husband had a similar situation and thought the same. I told him the very fact that he is worried about being like his father means he already cares so much and won't be like his father. His father set the example of what NOT to be like. My husband is so sweet, kind, and a very well balanced father to our beautiful 3 yr old daughter and now he will have a 2nd daughter to do the same.
My husbands father is not allowed in the picture, he does not deserve the honor of being a grandpa.  Anyone who abused my loving husband doesn't belong anywhere near our babies.
Helpful - 0
2180285 tn?1377866731
you can let him know there is nothing like becoming a parent anytime but the first time you watch your child enter this world it is magical and he will be shocked at how it makes him feel.  the moment that baby comes out and he sees (s)he it wont matter what he as been through or suffers from it will melt away.  it is normal to be scared to mess up and nobody is perfect my first daughter was my teaching tool and i messed up with her manytimes and she is just fine
congrats
Helpful - 0
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