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1947530 tn?1326544488

Depressed & Pregnant:(

Hello ladies and congrats on the good news!  I just found out that I was pregnant on Dec. 10, 2011 and my childs father left me on Dec. 13th.  Although I feel blessed to have such a wonderful gift growing inside of me; I'm also depressed and lonely.  This will be my second child, my only daughter is 7 and I suffered from a miscarriage of twins three years ago.  I was beginning to think that I couldn't get pregnant any longer due to trying since the lost of my last pregnancy, so the news that I got on 12/10/11 made me so happy.  I just don't want to do this alone...I wish that my man was more understanding.  His reason for leaving is due to me being emotional, crying and having mood swings.  I tried to assure him that it would get better and asked that he try to be patient and understanding that my hormones and body are going through changes that I can't control.  He would only say that he was tired of seeing me crying and he couldn't take it any longer.  I'm so upset that he would leave me, my 7 year old and our unborn...I can't do this by myself...I'm feeling a little depressed.  I found out that he is already seeing another woman and I really can't believe that he would move on so fast! I need support, that's why I joined this site. I hope that this site and the women who's taking this journey with me until Aug. 2012 will help to heal my broken heart.
18 Responses
1941510 tn?1326987036
Awwh girl im sorry ,I'm here if you need someone to talk too.il be here if you ever need someone,I know how it's feels,I haven't been left while I was pregnant before..im 7w2d and I'm engaged,il do anything I can to help you. Take care and congrats xo
Avatar universal
If he left you knowing you're pregnant, he doesn't deserve you. You can do a lot better and you are not alone you have your babies and all the women on this site who will be here for you. Just know there's better out there and at the end of the day is his lost.
Avatar universal
Congrat on the  good news n  im sorry to hear bout the loss of your twins :( on the other hand try not to stress over your ex no one wants to go thru pregnacy alone I understand that but u have to be strong for your daughter n your unborn god don't put nothing on you that you cant handle.. Im 23 8 weeks prego wit my 3rd child due july 27
287246 tn?1318570063
Since he is already seeing someone else, my guess is that he already was and he is using your pregnancy/hormones as an excuse.

I am sorry you are going through all of this...and pregnant too!  We are all here if you need to talk to anyone.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I don't.  I do really hope that you have some sort of support system, such as family/friends that you can talk to, lean on, and just be with.

I am so sorry.  But I am happy that you are happy about your baby.  This baby will give you the strength you need to move on and do what is best for both you and your children.  You'll see.

Take care.
1947530 tn?1326544488
Thank you Hailey and congrats! I just don't want to feel alone so a message from you or any of the ladies from time to time will help me to get through this journey.  My due date is Aug. 18th so I have a long way to go! Hopefully, I will wipe these tears and be able to enjoy Christmas knowing that I've been blessed with the best gift that anyone can get...a healthy developing baby! Thanks!
1947530 tn?1326544488
Thanks for the kind words....and of course I'm at my desk crying now.  Anyhow, most of my fam/friends don't know that I'm pregnant yet.  Since my last pregnancy ended with a miscarriage, I don't want to get everyone excited about this one just yet.  Most of my fam lives in another state and I have never been a social butterfly, so my friends are limited.  I feel so alone, and yes, my 7 year old is great with trying to make me feel better but I feel guilty because a mom is suppose to wipe her child's tears not vice versa.  I pray everyday that things get better; it's just so fresh right now... .
971074 tn?1362759766
Peace to you.
What a wicked twist that your man would leave right after finding out you have been given such a precious gift. He is really missing out on an amazing journey. I hope your heart heals and that you can begin to enjoy your pregnancy. Stress is really hard to cope with during pregnancy. I hope you will carve out some time to breath and relax. And when you start to feel a mood swing bubble up...try counting and breathing. You may feel alone but I assure you that you are not. Find your strength.

p.s.- I hope your ex has hemroids for the next 10 years :)
287246 tn?1318570063
Don't feel bad about feeling bad.  It's okay to feel bad and perfectly natural.  I know you want to be strong for your 7 year old, but it's okay for them to see you cry sometimes.  I think it's important for a child to know that adults have feelings too because we do.  We feel sad and hurt and joy and all the things that they do.  

Try to relax.  I KNOW that is so much easier said than done, but you have some time to work things out and get all situated before your baby comes.  You don't have to have all the answers today.  When I feel overwhelmed about anything, that's what I remind myself is that I have time.  When you feel comfortable, you can start buying little things that maybe are unisex in color.  You can buy some diapers here and there.  Buying as you go can help ease the financial burden of the baby costs.  Plus, you can buy as you go even after the baby gets here so try not to worry about that part of it.

I don't have a sister or a whole lot of friends either.  I prefer quality to quantity when it comes to friendship.  Plus, I have a large family and limited time.  Anyway, I have 2 sons and 5 daughters.  My daughters range from the ages of 10 to 2 years.  I think God gave me so many daughters so that I wouldn't be as lonely as an adult as I was a child.  I have a brother but we aren't close.  I am never lonely anymore.  LOL!  My point in telling you this, is to tell you to take this time and enjoy your daughter.  Pop some popcorn and curl up on the couch and watch a movie together.  Find a good book and read it to her.  Just really work on and focus on the bond with her.  It is so important and even though she is 7, she could be your best friend through this, just by you simply being her mother.  One of my favorite things to do is just curl up with my girls and watch something together or even just to talk about anything.

If you are interested, I will PM you my number and you can call me or text me anytime.

BTW...I 2nd spike's wishes for your ex!
Avatar universal
I'm truly sorry, and hate that you're going through this. You'll definitely be in my prayers!!
1941510 tn?1326987036
I'm due August 5th! I get my ultra sound my first one this wed! It's excitiing,my fiancé is on active duty in the army,he was deployed but he is home for surgery,god blessed me for him bein here for this adventure,girl your better than that your ex will realize what he left behind sooner or later just show him you can do it,you seem like a sweet girl ,I bet a lot of men out there would be lucky to have you as the girl :) im here for youu :) and thank you!!
1947530 tn?1326544488
You ladies are awesome! Thanks so much for your support...although I haven't stopped crying since I typed the initial post, I'm feeling a little better knowing that there are people out there that care about a lonely stranger like me. Your kind words and prayers will help me to pull up enough strength to walk with my head high and be strong for my babies.  

I really appreciate the advice and I think that I'm going to pick my daughter up when I leave work and play dolls with her.  I need to stay occupied or I will keep thinking about him and crying.  I have allowed him to take my joy away and I know that that's not fair to my daughter or unborn. He had the power to leave, but I shouldn't give him the power to control my emotions! I don't even have an appetite now that I'm feeling so depressed.  A prenatal pill with a glass of orange juice is all I've been able to take down over the past few days, but reaching out for help by joining this site is helping me to think more clearly.  I can't allow this worthless man to interfere with me carrying a healthy baby to term! I gotta do better....I will do better! Stress, depression and no food is not a good look for my precious baby! Damn him!!!! I'm sorry for getting all emotional, but I have gone from sad to mad as heck! Ladies, please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  That's the only way that I will be able to get through this.  I know that someone is thinking "why don't she just get professional help".  Well, insurance isn't all that great...there are still copays and deductibles and I don't have the extra money, so a supportive group of women is the best that I can do for now.  My ex actually left on his payday, so he didn't give me his half of the bill money.  Although I was able to take his Christmas gifts back and to pay his half, I don't have an extra dime to pay anybody for anything.  

PS...I know that it's not nice, but right now I hope that Carlos D. Wells is forever miserable and overloaded with bad luck in life! Cold hearted snake!!!
Avatar universal
You are stronger than you think!!! No one thing that is certain... THE LORD WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORESAKE YOU... Trust and lean on him for he is your ROCK!! :)
Avatar universal
I'm sorry to hear that but keep ur head up for ur kids ur ex will get his
1927809 tn?1324698400
Hi sorry to hear that his a jerk ! U need to show him that u can do this with or without him I know it's easy to say this but try to be strong for ur unborn baby & Ur daughter I know it won't be easy but u have to prepare urself for anything... We here for u girl smile :) rem whenever u feel stress ur baby can feel it too...
1901977 tn?1333991726
This is a really emotional journey...you'll feel better after you can tell people, I remember feeling like that especially at the beginning.  Maybe there's a really good friend or two who can keep your secret; I only told a couple of people until I was almost out of my first trimester, but those people got me through.

My ex and I broke up over the baby, he just wasn't ready for it.  He's coming to terms with it (two and a half months later) and is getting much better and more involved, even excited, though we've been through some rocky moments. I'll wish you the same, but in the end it sounds like you're a good mom and you've just got to get through this rough patch.  Just remember, you'll be okay, whether he decides to be involved or not. You have the best motivation ever, that beautiful little one inside of you. :)

I kinda agree with the poster above, it sounds like your ex was seeing somebody before he left you.  I also agree that if he's not man enough to be a good dad, he deserves some bad karma...and you're probably better of without him.
1947530 tn?1326544488
*****UPDATE*****

Hi ladies, just wanted to give you all an update. I'm very sad to announce that I lost my baby on Christmas day. I feel terrible because I keep thinking that I would still have my baby if I wasn't allowing myself to stress, worry, cry and argue with my ex. I will probably carry this guilt with me for life! So ladies, if you are going through losing a man during pregnancy, be strong and try to find a happy place. Your baby needs you!

I pray that you all have happy, healthy babies and I'm looking foward to seeing pics! Sorry to deliver such bad news...please say a prayer for me.
1947530 tn?1326544488
*****UPDATE*****

Hi ladies, just wanted to give you all an update. I'm very sad to announce that I lost my baby on Christmas day. I feel terrible because I keep thinking that I would still have my baby if I wasn't allowing myself to stress, worry, cry and argue with my ex. I will probably carry this guilt with me for life! So ladies, if you are going through losing a man during pregnancy, be strong and try to find a happy place. Your baby needs you!

I pray that you all have happy, healthy babies and I'm looking foward to seeing pics! Sorry to deliver such bad news...please say a prayer for me.
1900942 tn?1462421460
Im so sorry honey...praying for you love :))
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