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384896 tn?1335294331

Doctor Options...

So I'm FINALLY moving back to Massachusetts with my fiancee the last couple days of April... and I'll FINALLY be able to see a REAL doctor... not just going to the ER and pulling some sh*t just to get a check up on the poor dear.

There's LOADS of maternity doctors where I'm from in that particular part of Massachusetts, that I can choose from...
I can either chose from a male doctor or a female doctor... because my mother, with her last baby, her "Midwife" was actually a male. lolol. And before that, all the doctors she's been with were females.

So I was wondering, with the experience from all you other ladies, which would provide me with better care?

I heard male doctors are a little rougher rather than gentle like the females...
But sometimes the male doctors have a higher degree than the females and might know a little more?
Atleast that's mostly what I've seen.

I dunno gals, which do yall suppose I should look into?
I got maybe 5 er 6 doctors in line, 2 females and 3 er 4 males that I wanna look into.
But I don't wanna make a mistake and go with one instead of the other.

Any suggestions?
8 Responses
Avatar universal
I've had both male and female doctors. The male doctors were actually WAY MORE GENTLE and the women just made me hurt for hours and even days after an exam (whether it was a pap smear or a pelvic exam).

You can always go to one doctor appointment and if you don't like them, go to the next doctor until you find one you like. This is what I did my last pregnancy and it took a while but I found the BEST DOCTOR EVER (a woman but she still is not very gentle---I just love her bedside manner and her willingness to LISTEN to me and work with me on a solution).
383382 tn?1323487391
What part of MA are you  moving to?  
363110 tn?1340920419
I think it's awesome that your gonna be interviewing your docs and trying them out. What I have with my OB is there are 3 docs that rotate there. 2 guys and a woman. I had a papsmear done with both male and female. The GUY was more gentle. (figure that one out)

With the woman, she got an already adjusted plastic speculum (before I was preggo) and just pushed it in. OWW
With the man, he pushed it in gently, then opened it. much better. altho *giggle (he had a little trouble finding the spot cause he wasn't looking all close.. and my hubby was in there watching)

try to find a practice with several docs at the clinic, that way if you go into labor there's always a doc on shift, and by the time you deliver you'll know all the doctors there.
384896 tn?1335294331
kazwel ~ I'm moving back to my home town, Springfield, MA.

Mart ~ I know... my mom has one doc she wants to set me up with and I'm like, "MOM... I'm 18 lemme handle myself and pic out my OWN doctor kay???"


And she's like, "Well this doctor was good to me... and blah de blah de blah.."

But I put myself in this situation, I'm an adult, this is my problem, I appreciate the help and I'll take your advice into mind, but I wanna try to solve my problem myself and find my own doctor.
Cuz I'm not gunna rely on my mother for the rest of my life to find me doctors, and find me dentists and find me this and get me that...

So I went around with numbers I got from my insurance company, and I found a few doctors that would accept my insurance, and I wanna find one that best suits me.
Avatar universal
363110 tn?1340920419
K, But be sure... A) that you get a doctor that'll answer all your questions, even the tough ones with a straight answer and not doctor jabber.

B) that you get a doc that seems to REALLY care about their patients and will run necessary tests if something seems amiss

C) and that you two get along.

:)  If my doc wasn't friendly and answered all my questions i'd be pretty p*ssed off and not have them as a doctor of course. and your right, your an adult and should find your own answers. but be sure that sometimes moms have good advice. as much as I'm loathe to admit it.
384896 tn?1335294331
I know my mom is only doing it for my best interest, but I just wanna check out these doctors first.
If none of them work out, I'll go try the doc my mom's talking about.
If not, I had this REALLY cool pediatrician named Debbie Hanks, and she was great with me growing up, along with my brothers and sisters and still see her... I can always go see her and see if she knows of any good doctors.

But I deff know that once my baby's born, I'll be setting my baby up requesting her as his/her ped. cuz I know I can trust her!

I guess we'll see what's going on once we get up there.
I'm very picky about doctors so I know exactly what I'm looking for.
Someone gentle, and understanding.
My whole life I've always had a NEED to ask questions about EVERYTHING, and I haven't changed... like when people shove papers in my face n **** expecting me to sign it like docs and hospitals n **** I'm always like, "What's this!?" "What's it for?!" "What's it mean?!" "Why I gatta sign this??"
And until I get my fill on questions and completely understand what's going on, I'll be okay. lol.
So I'll deff want a patient doctor that will be willing to answer all my questions. lol
I don't want a doc that blabs on and on about this and that using all these medical terms that I have NO clue what they're saying... I want a doc that will explain to me like, "Hey you have ___..." or "You're going through _____ and what that is is _______ and what's gunna happen is ______." Y'know?
I wanna understand what is happening to me so I don't freak out.

I always want a non judgemental doctor.
Fuckin pointing out every flaw I have.
Yelling at me because I smoked up until I found out I was pregnant, and then gradually quit so I smoked up until I was about 10 weeks.

I don't want him telling me I'm over weight and this this and that making it seem impossible for me to lose it afterwards.
I had a doc at the ER tell me that once and it pissed me off.

But yeah.

I'll make sure I find someone I like.
Cuz I don't settle for something until I'm happy with what I got.
363110 tn?1340920419
I got lucky on that one. w/the patient doctor thing. I probably ask about 10-20 diff questions at every appointment. Like at my amnio, I asked:

Where will the needle go, how far will it go in. How much fluid will you draw? Are you sure that part's not my bladder? etc. lol

My docs have never told me I'm overweight, even when I mentioned I thought I was a little overweight, they said "Oh NO not compared to some women we see in here" who are closer to 250lbs or more. THATS overweight.

P.S. ER docs are notorious for being retards
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