He doesn't want to know but they do! Help?

[Aliecha]

Basically me and my partner split on very bad terms when I found out he was cheating on me and when trying to leave he beat me knowing I was pregnant and causing cartridge damage to my back, when finally managing to leave and getting my own place, two weeks later a woman knocked on my door looking for him and stated that he is to know that his son has been born! I had no idea of this lady, or her pregnancy and meant that not only had he need having an affair with a friend of ours but also fathered a child with this other woman! Even after everything I tried to do the best thing by our child and allow him rights despite the bitterness between us, he has been invited to every hospital, specialist, midwife and doctors appointment and not been to one, his also not been in contact except the one message stating his moved on, and wants nothing to do with our child! So why do I feel like its me that's let our child down, knowing daddy's not going to be there!? Recently however his family who I have always been close too have been in contact wanting to know whether I would be willing to give them visits? What should I do?? X

[Aliecha]

Thanks for your opinions guys, I know that I want his brothers and sister and his dad involved, as much as they want to be, I can't deny my child from seeing there aunties and uncles! I just don't want to cause any family rifts as I know his told his family that they are not to get involved with Our baby, and the idea of having to go behind his back and sneak around just isn't appealing to me, I just want it to be on more amicable terms whether he is involved or not to allow my child to know there other family! I suppose I just don't want the drama! X

[sammiejo13643]

My sons dad is the same way, however his sister and moms (bio and step) and really close friends all want to be involved. My way of thinking is its his loss, and just because he is behaving this way doesnt mean it should punish his family. Let his faamily see the baby and bond, butfrm the sound of it i wouldnt trust him around the child. His family will understand.

[baby_love2014]

You'll need a good support system and sounds like his family wants to help and be there. I'd let them see your baby. Just make it clear to them that you dont want the father to be there.

[jsulliva15]

Just because he dont want to be there don't mean his family can't. Let them know though that unless he steps up his game u don't want the baby around him and strictly enforce that. Ur letting them see the baby not your ex. You can't make someone be a parent if they don't want to. Is he taking care of his other children? If not then we'll that's exactly whTbu should expect from him. He seems violent though so I wouldn't trust hi with a newborn.