For the more experienced women

[LittleMumToBe]

What if I don't trust my partner?
I'm 31w pregnant and all I want is my little boy to be safe when he's here.. I've seen my man in every mood possible and rarely very rarely but still possible.. He gets really angry and lashes out.. He doesn't do much it's mostly just nasty names but when I become sarcastic and stuck up just to annoy him in a fight he comes at me but always misses.. He'll try to shove me or push me away with his foot if he's sitting down (not kick) he only ever tries to shove.. I know it's only because I wind him up I become a huge b*tch but if just his angry girlfriend can do that to him how do I know my child will be safe as he goes through his different adorably irritating stages of life? I don't know if I could harm my boyfriend  if it came to it or even if I could restrain him and it's not that he's a violent person and I've NEVER seen him harm a child he claims it's something he couldn't do.. But I just don't have enough evidence to believe it... I'm not sure what to do I don't want to leave him I can't do this alone and don't want to deal with custody before my little boy is even born I don't want a broken home for my family I think we can sort this out I just want to know he'll be safe and I'll be safe

[melcarin]

I wouldn't have put up with that Crap to begin with. Pregnant it not a real man doesn't hurt a woman emotionally mentally verbally or physically. If he's done it to you what would stop him from doing it to the baby? I wouldn't stick around. To find out. He's abusive. Plain and simple. He's not gonna change. I'd get out before he really hurts you

[Ninny_]

Get out NOW

[LittleMumToBe]

I guess it slowly developed after a little while and to be honest sometimes I lash out when he doesn't, I've hit him with hot spatulas before because he was in my face while I was cooking.. I just don't know how id do anything or cope without him I don't want that kind of life cause he's also incredibly supportive, it's no excuse and nothing justifies violence from either of us but is there any other way?? Anything that might help before breaking our family up? I've told him to pack a bag when he wakes up for work he's not coming home after shoving me again he needs time away

[melcarin]

You can be a family and be separated. You don't have to be together to raise a child. Plan weekends together with the baby. Make trips together but don't be together. I've seen it work. An ex of mine hit me once then my dog and I packed up the next day and left. We talk some still and can be considered friends but a relationship just wasn't gonna work for us. Sometimes you just have to give up the happy ending and go after the right thing. I say break up but stay friends. Let him know what's going on with baby and have him go to appointments when he can but maybe it's time to end things

[drakenoboe]

Both of you could check out anger management classes. Good luck!

[knufrio]

You both need anger management/marital therapy. Neither of you should be treating the other like that.

[victoriamichelle1010]

Trust me my mom went through the emotionally abusive relationship for 7 years after 7 years he got physical once and she left. It was the hardest thing for me to watch but she didnt see it until he actually put his hands on her. You dont want your little man growing up watching him abuse you(and its only gonna get worse). He will think that its normal and possibly grow up to treat women the same way.. its hard to do but i would get out now. It only gets worse:/

[Ninny_]

If you do not want to separate and neither does he. Agree to see a counselor asap.

[LittleMumToBe]

Because of my age an situation my midwife has enrolled me in a specific sector of the hospital and assigned me a youth worker as protocol.. I haven't met my youth worker but if I brought it up to my midwife do you think she could help me find a solution that best fits my family? I know she's not a psych or anything or maybe she'll just tell me that's something I should talk to the youth worker about but it's worth a try right? She'll have contacts and information slips of all my options..

[mrspoofy0913]

Try having him go to counseling or see a therapist. It seems you both have the issues of lashing out at each other. Try seeing if there is a program that is by you where you can get a machanical baby. Some people just have anger problems me and my husband was like that when I was pregnant with my son.  I would start the fights and argument. If he never hit you and you want tk still be with him again try couseling or anger therapy. If he keeps on doing it then I would get seperated. You can still have him be supportive and just watch him when you have him around baby.

[kiwi6511]

Sounds like you both need to work on things. I egg on my husband too but he never ever has touched me. I trust my husband with everything and he trusts me and that is very important in a healthy relationship. In the mean time maybe get some distance, stay at a friends house and go to counseling and anger management together. Hopefully things work out for the best.